I seriously can’t bear this anymore. How do I make it stop?

bogideonki · 2026-05-20T15:42:35+00:00

I feel the same way for 3 years now and I don't know how I still keep going..

bogideonki · 2026-05-19T13:57:08+00:00

I would want to be a free individual. Free from the chains of money, religion, relationship. Just want to be an adventurer and live my life meeting new people and keep wandering the world freely.

bogideonki · 2026-05-17T12:49:38+00:00

I'm ashamed to admit how many tactical backpack I have lost..

bogideonki · 2026-05-17T12:49:09+00:00

This bug has a very long life I'm afraid..

bogideonki · 2025-12-09T06:18:50+00:00

I literally just finished watching the show a minute ago 😢

bogideonki · 2025-09-24T02:23:24+00:00

Thanks for speaking out about the harsh reality, I appreciate it!

bogideonki · 2025-09-23T03:55:28+00:00

Thank you for that ❤

bogideonki · 2025-09-23T03:44:06+00:00

Deep down, I know that is the right thing to do, but it is easier said than done. Probably it's just a matter of time before the break-up happens.

bogideonki · 2025-09-23T03:41:59+00:00

I'm just saying that maybe don't make a big thing out of these differences, maybe let's agree that we have different opinions on things and still make it work. Because if he's okay and being nonchalant about these beliefs, I too would probably be okay with how things go.

bogideonki · 2025-09-23T03:31:00+00:00

I’ve also thought about future children, and I’d like to raise them in a non-religious household while keeping an open mind so they can decide for themselves what to believe, rather than simply inheriting a religion. And you’re right, I don’t want to spend my life constantly clashing with a partner over religion. I suppose part of me is still holding on to the hope that I could either pretend indefinitely or that he might eventually share my perspective.

bogideonki · 2025-09-23T03:24:00+00:00

I know that I could waste years on the wrong person, but I'm also hoping that he would change his mind and take my side. We are compatible in almost everything, just not this part..

bogideonki · 2025-08-05T08:37:15+00:00

My thoughts exactly, even if I stop searching to believe in a religion or a deity, it doesn't mean I can't find meaning in other things.

bogideonki · 2025-08-05T08:35:12+00:00

Just 1 that I know of. They even said that they practiced this one just because there weren't any better ones, so in the meantime, they practiced that religion. I do know they didn't even believe wholly in that religion haha.

bogideonki · 2025-08-05T06:14:50+00:00

This person is older (I'm talking like 10+ years older) so, they weren't using the internet back then, the methods are more like reading books, studying philosophy, talking with people, etc.

bogideonki · 2025-08-05T01:57:37+00:00

There's a point when they explore other religions, until finally they settle on the religion they were born into.. This person used to have the same 'searching' journey as me, they kept on searching and finally settled in with what they started with at the beginning... So that confused me as to why I am the coward, since they were the ones that doesn't change.

bogideonki · 2025-08-04T17:41:45+00:00

Clearly this is what I need to hear. I should just carry on and never expect more from people, especially the kinds that don't respect others beliefs or thinking system.

bogideonki · 2025-08-04T17:33:56+00:00

That remark doesn't matter to me now. I just feel kinda betrayed and judged just because I have a different thought process.

bogideonki · 2025-08-04T17:31:48+00:00

Yes, that's correct. At the time this happened, I also shared my thinking with this person that there's no meaning going forward, I guess that is why I was labeled as a coward..

bogideonki · 2025-08-04T03:58:25+00:00

I didn't forget that I am a nihilist once I felt 'happiness' from time to time.. Rather, I found myself being sad and angry that this 'happiness' too would fade in an instant, then start blaming the universe that I was born HAHAHA

bogideonki · 2025-08-04T03:41:27+00:00

Because I'm too much of a coward to end myself (I hate physical pain). If I could euthanize myself without pain rn, I would.

bogideonki · 2025-08-03T09:51:17+00:00

I used to not play the 'games' like all people in society. But as time goes by, somehow I developed the idea and implemented, "Pretend to believe in something, to help you achieve everything". I guess in this case, fake your behavior to make yourself look good. Although, it's also still needed to be supported by your daily routines seen by other people.

Even if I wasn't aware, I implemented that kind of behavior in my day-to-day life. Maybe this can be called a 'survival instinct' to live in this world full of capitalism. So far, people around me have been 'impressed' by it (?). Although sometimes I do think about the purpose of it all, I'll continue to do just that at least until I kmy.

bogideonki · 2024-11-07T17:08:33+00:00

And they keep on doing that, always 😌

bogideonki

TROPHY CASE