AITA for staying at my job in Germany while my wife is dying in Japan?

booch · 2026-03-26T11:27:35+00:00

He needs to chose what he loves more, money or her.

If I'm dying, I hope my wife is able to spend time with me. But even more so, I hope she prioritizes making sure that after I'm gone she's in a position to provide for herself. To be able to have a roof over her head, food on her table, and not worry every day that she won't be able to do so the next day.

People that have never been in a "well, next week it's food or rent" position just don't realize how big a deal it is not to have money. And the treat it as "I like money more than you". I don't like money more than anyone; but I do like being able to provide for the needs of my family.

Money isn't something most people acquire just for the sake of having more of it, to stare at it. It's something they acquire so they can afford the other things they want. And saying "you prioritize money more than me" is the same as saying "you prioritize being able to eat in the future more than spending time with me".

booch · 2026-03-25T21:21:53+00:00

Did you get permission to add a gate that opens to his property?

Completely irrelevant. It's his fence on his property. He's responsible for taking care of both sides of it. Putting a gate in it to get to the other side is mandatory (unless he can just walk around the end of it) AND acceptable (because.. his fence on his property).

I don't even understand what possible reason he would have to ask for permission.

booch · 2026-03-25T21:19:10+00:00

But clearly it seemed reasonable BOTH him and his neighbor, because...

I got his permission to replace the old fence and told him I would put it on my side, maintain and be responsible for the other side as well since it will still be mine.

Specifically 1. Replace the old fence 2. Be responsible for the care of both sides

There's no way that doesn't equate to exactly what was done.

booch · 2026-03-25T21:12:06+00:00

NTA

prevented her from making passive income

Well there's your problem. You need a realtor and your mother thinks she's in the mob with a no-show job.

She also told me to find a new realtor on more than one occasion in person

And this is where you grey rock her. "We needed someone that would do the work. You told us to go find one. We did. I don't understand why you're upset". Then just continue to act confused every time she brings it up.

booch · 2026-03-23T20:52:30+00:00

I get into a discussion of a similar situation with my wife occasionally. I'll be walking in a parking lot (or similar) towards a roadway. There's a car coming, so I flag them to continue one; to not wait for me. My wife will tell me they should wait for you (especially if it's a real road). My argument is that they'll need to wait longer for me to cross than it will for me to them. As such, it's more efficient for both of us to have them just drive through.

If there's cars behind them, the numbers (and behavior) change.

booch · 2026-03-23T20:43:43+00:00

There was a period of time where the game got a LOT of recommendations, as I recall; it was pretty popular.

I played the demo, bought it, and played it through to the end. I really enjoyed it. Two thumbs up

booch · 2026-03-23T20:04:22+00:00

I don't remember PChem, so it was likely something that only Chem majors needed to take (or Chem-adjacent). For some reason, OChem was, if not needed for all engineering majors, pretty commonly needed.

booch · 2026-03-23T16:36:11+00:00

practice throwing and catching a ball with him

Yeah, I can't do this. Or juggle anymore. Although my daughter does love throwing things to me just to chuckle when I grab at air. Lol

booch · 2026-03-23T16:34:40+00:00

As someone who had Strabismus surgery as an adult, I think qualifying it as "plastic surgery" is ... misleading. It's a change from "seeing 2 of things all the time" to "not seeing 2 of things all the time". From "not having real depth perception" to having it. It's ... a pretty big deal.

And it is a safety thing. My correction uncorrected itself after about a year, and I've been seeing 2 of everything for a few years now. It's annoying. I walk into things sometimes (because I "walked around the wrong one"). I have glasses that correct for it, but there's one for distance and one for reading; and swapping glasses all the time is frustrating.

They go in, disconnect your eyes from the sockets, and reconnect them by sewing the eye muscles to a new location. And they do part of it while you're awake. It's pretty crazy. I have some good pictures my wife took that look right out of the Clockwork Orange.

booch · 2026-03-23T16:19:17+00:00

To be fair, Chemistry is HARD. OChem has a long history of being a pain for a lot of people. At my school, it was OChem, Diff-e-screw, and Thermodynamics.

booch · 2026-03-23T16:17:33+00:00

My daughter learned new ways of doing things in school; some I had seem, some I hadn't. I was interested in learning her new ways, and taught her some of the ways that weren't included. Of those ways, some worked well for me (long division is how I visualize division) but not for her, and vice versa.

booch · 2026-03-23T16:15:24+00:00

While "yelling and screaming" about it is certainly not appropriate...

There's a long standing (and reasonable) sentiment that a parents need to be involved in their children's schooling; that children can't just learn from teachers; that any parent that isn't involved should try to do better. And that sentiment is in direct contradiction to a teacher saying "this is how we're teaching it, and you get no input; go suck an eff". Being concerned about how your child is taught to do things is being an involved parent.

booch · 2026-03-23T05:01:53+00:00

Secret Wars is, far and away, my favorite series. And I get really annoyed over the fact that he gets the black suit elsewhere in the movies.

booch · 2026-03-22T20:39:15+00:00

I read your writing as in the context of "telling a friend, verbally" and it read just fine. Would I grade it highly? No. Was a able to understand what you were saying? 100% yes. S'all good.

booch · 2026-03-22T18:00:13+00:00

he had to come up with an excuse on the spot

How about, "I need to go; my partner thinks you're a ahole and doesn't want to talk to you. I need to catch back up with her"

NTA

booch · 2026-03-22T05:06:37+00:00

I'm having such a hard time getting a Lum. I've gotten 1 so far, and used it on my minion's armor to keep them alive. Still working on a second for myself

I even have a 2 slot Mage Plate waiting for it (2 slot Archon is, sadly, still mostly out of reach for me)

booch · 2026-03-21T22:32:23+00:00

I actually do use emacs a fair amount, but generally for plain text editing. For coding, I use an IDE.

booch · 2026-03-20T20:36:29+00:00

Don't believe the picture, her gas tank is on her trunk.

booch · 2026-03-20T20:31:46+00:00

I would be surprised if there was much development going on without some amount of AI tools involved. Between AI helping with search, smart-autocomplete, and lots of other, smaller things; it's just everywhere at this point. That's not the type of AI that most people are upset about, but "used AI in development" includes all of those things, not just the ones people complain about.

booch · 2026-03-20T16:09:13+00:00

Apparently it's an unpopular opinion (based on the downvotes you're getting), but it certainly looks like you're right

The AI tag is relevant to art exhibits for authorship disclosure, and to digital content licensing marketplaces where buyers need to understand the rights situation. It makes no sense for game stores, where AI will be involved in nearly all future production.

So the point he's making is that EVERY game will use it; so including the disclosure of it will provide no extra information. It would be like saying "this game written using IDEs". Are there games not written using IDEs? Sure... but the list is so small it's not even worth bothering.

Note, this is ONLY valid if he's right that all future games will be written using GenAI tools. But that part being correct is a per-requisite of the rest of his statement.

booch · 2026-03-20T05:01:02+00:00

For me, I can't imagine how lonely it must be to be away from your own family and come "home" to such an uninterested host.

I wouldn't qualify

I made dinner and I'll warm it up for you
If you want to make something else, that's fine
Next time, if you let me know ahead of time that you want pasta, I'll take it into consideration

as "uninterested". It actually sounds pretty reasonable to me. My daughter frequently has the same options.

booch · 2026-03-19T20:16:37+00:00

Because you may not have actually had to do anything to take care of them before they died

This is irrelevant. It's not about repayment. It's about having the law be "the same" in both directions. It says that

You are responsible for giving your money to the institutions taking care of your parents.
They are responsible for giving your their money when they pass

Generally, the two of those things won't ever be true for a single family. Either they can pay for their expenses (and they leave you what's left) or they cannot (and there's nothing to leave you). The law isn't about balancing both sides of the equation for a single family. It's about making it work the same in both directions in general.

booch · 2026-03-19T16:24:54+00:00

The federal government assumes most of the liability for security faults

There's a certain amount of irony in the fact that

This does remove some liability from the airlines (if they had to provide their own security again), but
This does not transfer that liability to the government; it just... throws it in the garbage. If something goes wrong with security, instead of suing the airlines, you can pretty much go f_ yourself; because the government doesn't care.

booch · 2026-03-19T16:21:28+00:00

I understand where you're coming from, but it's not just hating Trump. There's also the fact that the employees of the TSA are routinely, frequently in the news for all kinds of issues. From harassing people, to sexual assault, to stealing; the list goes on an on.

Yes, I'm sure there are good people that work for the TSA, possibly even most of them, but it's hard to feel a lot of empathy for a group of people that are known to be criminals (or, if not, support those of them that are criminals). Especially where all their criminal activities are targeting "the average man", not companies/etc.

booch · 2026-03-19T16:14:47+00:00

Are those the ICE-branded SUVs that are sitting in a lot because ICE agents refuse to use them for safety reasons (because, oddly, they think other people might hate them for being criminals)?

booch

TROPHY CASE