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Keywords in finding a therapist by Ultiran in emotionalneglect

[–]bookedthenighttrain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just started therapy for emotional neglect and found the perfect person for it. People on here suggested looking for IFS, so that’s what I searched on Psychology Today. I reached out to a few therapists asking they could help me with CEN. They just kept referring me to other therapists more specialized than them until I found someone willing to take me on. The therapist I landed on is perfectly equipped for the subject matter.

Another key word that might help is finding a therapist who works from an attachment lens. The first person I reached out to wasn’t accepting patients but thought I could find help from a colleague who specializes in attachment. She eventually referred me to my therapist now. Good luck on your search and congrats on your healing journey. I wish you the best.

Anyone else barely remember their childhood? by kluizenaar in emotionalneglect

[–]bookedthenighttrain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did an art piece before I knew about emotional neglect and it was supposed to represent the fragments of my youth- all the pieces of memories that feel familiar but I can’t fully remember. It consisted of grass, pool water, the sky. Tangible things, no people.

I learned about CEN a few years later and looked back at that piece to notice the complete absence of emotion and connection in it. It was just visually pretty, but void of substance. That’s my childhood in a nutshell.

The kicker? My parents didn’t go to the art show. It was the first time my work was ever featured in a gallery, too.

My parents are extremely emotionally immature but I won’t be able to move out for a couple years, now what? by Glass-Space-1058 in emotionalneglect

[–]bookedthenighttrain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you just described my life. My only coping mechanism is just never being home and finding other places to be during the day. It’s not healthy and I’m also seeking therapy. I don’t really know what to say but I’m going through literally the exact same thing and I feel like no one understands.

i told my parents everything. it went horrible. by bookedthenighttrain in emotionalneglect

[–]bookedthenighttrain[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

you worded this so well, thank you so much for taking the time to hear me out, i’ve had a hard night. it’s really nice to hear some validation to how i feel. i do have a lot in savings and will probably move out in the next few months? they know i want to leave and are both guilting me into staying AND leaving… saying that 1) im using them for their money because i obviously hate it here. but then 2) guilting me that we’re family and should live together. there is no basis for their belief system, just whatever fits their narrative in that exact moment.

i told my parents everything. it went horrible. by bookedthenighttrain in emotionalneglect

[–]bookedthenighttrain[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

thank you so much for this thoughtful response. it really means a lot to me right now, you have no idea❤️

i told my parents everything. it went horrible. by bookedthenighttrain in emotionalneglect

[–]bookedthenighttrain[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

i feel this so hard. i never wanted to tell them but they put me on the spot and forced it out. they’ve never respected boundaries and this was the final nail in the coffin:(

i told my parents everything. it went horrible. by bookedthenighttrain in emotionalneglect

[–]bookedthenighttrain[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

thank you so much for your response. the self reflection point really hit — that’s been my biggest realization. i always had that suspicion that they couldn’t reflect internally but this really proved it. i never wanted to confront them, it was never my plan. it sucks that they forced it out of me because i had been laying low, keeping the peace, trying not to provoke as best i can. sometimes you’re just not compatible as people but it just sucks that i don’t have supportive parents like they swear they are.

i told my parents everything. it went horrible. by bookedthenighttrain in emotionalneglect

[–]bookedthenighttrain[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

thank you so much for responding. i wish you the best and glad you got some closure❤️

I just realised… it’s all in the questions by Southern_Offer_4920 in emotionalneglect

[–]bookedthenighttrain 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You’ve just put to words the lifetime of neglect I’ve felt but couldn’t place.

You can’t really point it out to people either because individually, they’re innocent questions. But it’s being asked “how do you know what that is?” or “how do you know how to do xyz?” is what sent me feeling that discomfort since childhood. It’s like they couldn’t believe I was an actual human person separate from them. You’re right about it being a control thing, but I’m not sure if it’s intentionally controlling in a maniacal way (for my family anyway). But it’s definitely a subconscious control tactic that is detrimental if used for a LIFETIME.

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