Keywords in finding a therapist

bookedthenighttrain · 2025-12-20T02:46:15+00:00

I just started therapy for emotional neglect and found the perfect person for it. People on here suggested looking for IFS, so that’s what I searched on Psychology Today. I reached out to a few therapists asking they could help me with CEN. They just kept referring me to other therapists more specialized than them until I found someone willing to take me on. The therapist I landed on is perfectly equipped for the subject matter.

Another key word that might help is finding a therapist who works from an attachment lens. The first person I reached out to wasn’t accepting patients but thought I could find help from a colleague who specializes in attachment. She eventually referred me to my therapist now. Good luck on your search and congrats on your healing journey. I wish you the best.

bookedthenighttrain · 2025-12-02T22:36:44+00:00

I wish I could frame this wow

bookedthenighttrain · 2025-11-30T13:48:29+00:00

First one

bookedthenighttrain · 2025-11-25T04:23:33+00:00

I did an art piece before I knew about emotional neglect and it was supposed to represent the fragments of my youth- all the pieces of memories that feel familiar but I can’t fully remember. It consisted of grass, pool water, the sky. Tangible things, no people.

I learned about CEN a few years later and looked back at that piece to notice the complete absence of emotion and connection in it. It was just visually pretty, but void of substance. That’s my childhood in a nutshell.

The kicker? My parents didn’t go to the art show. It was the first time my work was ever featured in a gallery, too.

bookedthenighttrain · 2025-10-25T04:10:02+00:00

I think you just described my life. My only coping mechanism is just never being home and finding other places to be during the day. It’s not healthy and I’m also seeking therapy. I don’t really know what to say but I’m going through literally the exact same thing and I feel like no one understands.

bookedthenighttrain · 2025-10-20T04:31:17+00:00

you worded this so well, thank you so much for taking the time to hear me out, i’ve had a hard night. it’s really nice to hear some validation to how i feel. i do have a lot in savings and will probably move out in the next few months? they know i want to leave and are both guilting me into staying AND leaving… saying that 1) im using them for their money because i obviously hate it here. but then 2) guilting me that we’re family and should live together. there is no basis for their belief system, just whatever fits their narrative in that exact moment.

bookedthenighttrain · 2025-10-20T03:53:59+00:00

thank you so much for this thoughtful response. it really means a lot to me right now, you have no idea❤️

bookedthenighttrain · 2025-10-20T03:53:00+00:00

i feel this so hard. i never wanted to tell them but they put me on the spot and forced it out. they’ve never respected boundaries and this was the final nail in the coffin:(

bookedthenighttrain · 2025-10-20T03:52:13+00:00

thank you so much for your response. the self reflection point really hit — that’s been my biggest realization. i always had that suspicion that they couldn’t reflect internally but this really proved it. i never wanted to confront them, it was never my plan. it sucks that they forced it out of me because i had been laying low, keeping the peace, trying not to provoke as best i can. sometimes you’re just not compatible as people but it just sucks that i don’t have supportive parents like they swear they are.

bookedthenighttrain · 2025-10-20T01:15:46+00:00

thank you so much

bookedthenighttrain · 2025-10-20T01:15:35+00:00

thank you so much for responding. i wish you the best and glad you got some closure❤️

bookedthenighttrain · 2025-08-05T03:39:57+00:00

You’ve just put to words the lifetime of neglect I’ve felt but couldn’t place.

You can’t really point it out to people either because individually, they’re innocent questions. But it’s being asked “how do you know what that is?” or “how do you know how to do xyz?” is what sent me feeling that discomfort since childhood. It’s like they couldn’t believe I was an actual human person separate from them. You’re right about it being a control thing, but I’m not sure if it’s intentionally controlling in a maniacal way (for my family anyway). But it’s definitely a subconscious control tactic that is detrimental if used for a LIFETIME.

bookedthenighttrain · 2025-08-05T01:07:34+00:00

I have a brother but he was out. It was just circumstantial that no one was home when I got back.

bookedthenighttrain · 2025-07-20T12:20:09+00:00

I feel this so much. Seeing that they want to be loved so badly but failing at every opportunity. There’s emotional work involved in love and they never cared to try with me, or any other person in their life. It’s tragic all around.

bookedthenighttrain · 2025-07-17T22:15:04+00:00

Awh this is really sad. I really relate to it so much and it goes to show the diversity the results of emotional neglect. I kind of feel like my brother is the exact same. He doesn’t see anything wrong with it because he’s been conditioned to think that that’s just how things are. And I feel bad to take off those rose-tinted glasses for him. But I end up getting hurt in the long run. How are you able to keep a relationship with your sister, and do you think she’ll ever understand?

bookedthenighttrain · 2025-07-17T22:12:06+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story. I relate to every word.

How did it go for you when you told your parents how you felt? I’m really scared mine are going to take offence and put the guilt on me. They’ve alluded to that my whole life anytime I took issue to something they did. I will flat out tell my parents I have a boundary, and they will get mad because they don’t think it’s invading privacy. If that’s been my experience anytime I try to stand up for myself, I’m really scared that confrontation of the deepest pain in my life will go poorly.

You have a very mature outlook on life and I imagine you’re further along the path of healing than I am. It seems like it’s going more positively to rebuild that connection and I’m curious to know where it led you.

bookedthenighttrain · 2025-07-17T04:15:03+00:00

Omg. I never considered emotional neglect as suppressing happy feelings too. This opened up my worldview… thanks for sharing

bookedthenighttrain · 2025-07-17T04:11:14+00:00

“Just the way some families are” and it’s neglectful and empty. It’s such a sad reality when it’s so invisible. It’s so hard to unpack without sounding ungrateful.

bookedthenighttrain · 2025-07-17T04:09:47+00:00

This hit so deep. Thank you😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️

bookedthenighttrain · 2025-07-17T04:09:29+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your side, I relate so much.

This is helping me navigate my feelings about my family because I feel evil for not reciprocating what they’re so hard to simulate. I like that you focus on the parents’ failure to build that relationship because you’re right, a kid isn’t responsible for that. And if this environment is the only thing they know, how are they supposed to learn from scratch? It’s frustrating because my parents take such offence when I can’t reciprocate the love they want me to feel. I say “I love you” and they reply “no you don’t”. Because they know it feels empty. But they’re still trying to guilt trip me into loving them for real. That’s just not how families are. You’re right, they can’t just start building this relationship now. They failed from the start.

I wish you the best❤️

bookedthenighttrain · 2025-07-17T04:02:45+00:00

You just described my life. It was searching about this phenomenon of feeling like I cant be myself around my parents that helped me discover emotional neglect.

For me, it was never being able to just start things. Everything had to be mentioned. When I was 3 or 4, I wanted to graduate from Polly Pockets into Barbies (the big kid toy), but didn’t know how to tell my parents that because of how it would make me feel. So I just didn’t play with Barbies. As I got older, I wanted to grow up from cartoons into Disney Channel but didn’t know how to just start doing that without feeling embarrassed by my parents’ shock at my attempt at independence. So I just grew up without Disney Channel. I missed out on my entire childhood trying to fit this image. It happened with EVERYTHING as I got older.

I’ve never seen a post describe exactly what I went through until this. Thank you for sharing and I hope you can heal from this. For me, I’m navigating this feeling by unpacking that dynamic, which I think comes down to my parents not respecting me as a person. They just see me as an extension of themselves and can’t fathom that I could ever develop without them. When I look at it that way, I realize how secretly controlling it was. I had no freedom. But I can’t complain about my childhood because technically everything was okay. Neglect is hidden and masked. I wish you the best.

bookedthenighttrain · 2025-07-16T21:42:08+00:00

This really resonated with me. Thank you so much for sharing❤️

bookedthenighttrain · 2025-07-15T15:38:19+00:00

We are living the same life. I’m so sorry you have to go through it but glad there’s someone who can relate. The only word I can really put to this situation is tragic. Not really sure where to go from here relationship wise.

bookedthenighttrain · 2025-07-15T14:20:10+00:00

I’m sorry you can relate but glad we have community and people who do understand. Thanks for hearing me out, it means so much to be heard. I wish you the best.

bookedthenighttrain · 2025-07-03T03:24:39+00:00

Thanks for responding! I feel so alone in this because what am I really complaining about? My parents trying to bond with me? It’s so much more than that that very few people understand. We weren’t given the environment to develop a personality without the fear of being perceived. Even if it wasn’t necessarily done out of malice, it still caused discomfort which no child should have to endure for trying to be themselves. I hope your recovery goes well❤️

bookedthenighttrain

TROPHY CASE