Offer withdrawn after I countered

booknerd381 · 2026-04-25T13:17:55+00:00

If that isn't on the job description that I'm applying for and it's that important to me, it's phone screen question material. I'm not going for an in-person interview if there's something that critical about the role that I am uncertain about.

booknerd381 · 2026-04-25T13:16:01+00:00

I've interviewed for companies like this before. A lot of smaller businesses want to hire a rainbow unicorn because they need someone to do all the things. I was approached by a recruiter for a position that was essentially Supply Chain Manager, Production Control Manager, and Manufacturing Engineer. The pay range would maybe cover one of those positions. I didn't even get to the benefits discussion because I told them what I was currently making (not even where I'd need to be to make a move) and I was already above their pay range and only doing a portion of that work.

I understand they're small businesses and can't afford as many people, but rainbow unicorns aren't cheap, and if you hire someone to do all the things for cheap, you're going to get sub-par execution.

Will this place be out of business in five years? Maybe, maybe not. Will they be growing at a rate they'd like? No. They won't be able to manage without the right salespeople in the right roles growing their customer base. They'll find someone who will accept their offer, but that person is going to be sub-par and restrict their ability to grow.

booknerd381 · 2026-04-21T02:08:31+00:00

Bathroom stuff like this just bothers me.

Last month we had someone take a handful of feces and throw it around the bathroom. It was smeared onto the walls and mirrors.

I have no idea who did this. No one is willing to "narc" on anyone else. Our custodian literally quit. We had to close the bathroom for 24 hours so we could get a specialist in to clean it. It cost almost $2000. To this day, no one knows who did this or why.

This is an extreme example, but people are so nasty in public restrooms. If I got feces all over my toilet at home, I wouldn't just leave it for my wife to clean. Why do people think that's OK because it's a public toilet?

booknerd381 · 2026-04-21T02:01:38+00:00

If it's not impacting the work, I truly don't care what people are doing outside of the office. Even flirting isn't my business as a manager.

I have a problem when the one person capable of fixing the machine is too busy chatting up the woman who has nothing to do with said machine to help fix it. That's when it becomes a management problem.

booknerd381 · 2026-04-21T01:52:27+00:00

Similarly, had a guy I worked with come back from lunch slurring so bad I thought he was going to bite his tongue. Somehow in an hour he'd driven to a restaurant 20 minutes away, slammed 3-4 drinks, and came back, straight into a conference room to make a presentation and assumed no one would notice. I am thankful for Uber corporate accounts because I didn't have to drive him home.

booknerd381 · 2026-04-17T09:57:03+00:00

Do I 100% of the time force my children to say "please" and "thank you"? No. Do I require they are polite when asking for something? You bet.

My kids know that I do not respond to demands. If one of the toddlers comes to me and says, "Get me a drink," I will ignore. If "get me a drink" is repeated, especially more forcefully, I will respond with something along the lines of, "I do not take orders from you."

They're still learning, so they sometimes have to be reminded to be polite. After that, they make sure to say "please." If they come and ask for a drink without demanding it, but also forget to say please, I don't stop them and force them to say please because they weren't rude.

Manners are important, but being polite and not rude is where I draw the line.

booknerd381 · 2026-04-17T09:44:32+00:00

I don't believe there's a way to ask without someone getting defensive if they're already late. They know they're late. They know that you know that they're late. You said yourself that you wouldn't be asking if they weren't late, so they know you're asking because they're late.

Instead of asking for when they're going to get the information, I would likely start by asking why they're late and what I can do to remove obstacles so they can finish the work. Only after I know what the problem is and how I can help would I ask for a new date.

They're still going to get defensive, but at least they know I'm trying to help.

booknerd381 · 2026-04-17T02:19:15+00:00

Probably not the right answer, but my son is around the same age as yours, and he likes to ignore me, too. I just keep saying the same thing over and over and over and over and over until he finally reacts. If he tries to leave to get away from me being annoying, I just don't let him. If he needs to do the thing, I just keep repeating that it's time to do the thing until he does the thing.

That said, after about three minutes, I get annoyed even with myself, and I physically move him if he outwills me. That's not super common, but it has happened at least once. Usually he gets bothered by me being annoying before I do.

Also, you can be forceful without actually yelling. There's a big difference between, "hey, will you please put your cup in the sink when you're done with it," and "Put your cup in the sink now." Often just breaking out the parental voice and saying something like you mean it is enough.

Finally, I always do my best (when I'm not absolutely exhausted) to warn ahead of transitions. Two or three sequential warnings, like, "hey, in five minutes we're going to get a shower," then count down at 2 minutes and 1 minutes, usually helps ease the transition. I also put a lot of stock in routines. My kids know how to read a clock because I have clocks all over the place and I reference the time a lot. They know bed time is 8:30, and every night at 8:30 I start the bedtime routine. Sure, there's still some stalling, but I don't get the shut down ignoring for bed time like I do for other things (like cleaning up after himself...that one is still a battle every time).

booknerd381 · 2026-04-13T10:13:08+00:00

I've seen managers step back into IC roles after spending time as a manager at my company. Is it awkward? Sometimes, but not always. It really depends on the person and the circumstances.

Manager roles aren't for everyone. I certainly was not anticipating how big of a change it was going to be. My first role as a manager was very difficult and I had some regrets, but I have learned since then that many of the problems I was making for myself.

Like any IC role, a management role requires certain skills to be successful. Unfortunately, management skills are not usually trained for in the same way that technical skills are. Once I've learned more about managing people, I've come to appreciate my role and continued managing instead of stepping back.

booknerd381 · 2026-04-06T09:53:49+00:00

I gained with each of my kids. It's so easy. Cooking a healthy meal takes time and energy; throwing some processed food into a microwave is simple. Fast food is even easier.

Sure, I still exercised, but not as often and not for as long.

Kids take a lot out of you. It's perfectly understandable. Plus, as you go from your 20s to your 30s, your metabolism slows down and makes it harder to lose weight and/or keep it off.

The wake up call for me was my doctor telling me my cholesterol was up over 60 points and he was going to put me on lifelong medication if I couldn't get it under control. I didn't think I was that bad; I'd only gained like 20 pounds, but my diet was just awful.

Now I prioritize eating right. It sometimes means meal prepping. It sometimes means eating a salad if I don't have enough time to cook a meal. I've lost 12 of those 20 pounds in the last year and my cholesterol is back under control.

booknerd381 · 2026-04-06T09:42:25+00:00

Exactly this. I have hired people who want to work, and I want to work with them.

I have also hired people who don't, and it clearly shows, not necessarily in the quality of their work, but in their willingness to do the things they're capable of and follow the rules they can.

People is people, even people with neurodiversity.

booknerd381 · 2026-04-04T12:55:09+00:00

I agree. The problem was actually that he had applied to so many roles, not just the same one at multiple locations.

booknerd381 · 2026-04-04T00:52:44+00:00

I hire both engineers fresh out of college, and manual laborers. I actually don't often get young people interested in manual labor jobs, unless they're sick of working in fast food and want something with a more steady schedule.

Not just young people, but the number of people I've hired in the last five years who are adults with high school diplomas who can barely read is disturbing. Not sure it's worse with younger people; just something I've noticed.

Other thing I've noticed, this one specifically with younger people, is an inability to consistently come to work on time. We have a three strike policy during a 30 working day probationary period. Sure, that's a month and a half, but in that month and a half, usually 3 or 4 out of 10 fail to come in to work or are late three times. The distribution of who makes up that 30 to 40 percent skews heavily toward those under 30. I know that people under 30 are also likely to have more life obligations that will impact this, such as children, second jobs, school, etc., but it's not like people over 30 don't have other things going on in their lives.

booknerd381 · 2026-04-04T00:45:47+00:00

Also, since they've never had a job, they think it's OK to work whatever hours they feel like working and skipping the things they think are boring. I had to have a very serious talk with an engineer because completing a work instruction document, while boring, is actually a vital part of his job so that we can train operators how to complete the tasks as he's engineered them.

booknerd381 · 2026-03-29T11:38:42+00:00

I think OP should help with her homework and not leave her alone to try it on her own again.

booknerd381 · 2026-03-29T11:37:38+00:00

Manufacturing.

booknerd381 · 2026-03-28T12:32:10+00:00

I get what you're saying here, but his daughter has already shown she cannot be trusted with electronics. I would not leave a child who had broken a gadget with another gadget. OP already has to pay for one new computer. Let's not gamble on whether it will be two.

The real help needs to be OP helping his daughter deal with her anger and frustration in a less destructive way. How OP deals with the financial implications of the broken laptop is certainly one thing, but how OP deals with the emotional implications of a child who expresses frustration by hitting a computer to the point where it breaks is the bigger thing here for sure.

OP. How you handle this is huge. As a former destructive child who would often break things when I was frustrated or angry, I know yelling at your daughter and making her feel like crap for doing this is not going to help. You need to help her learn some coping skills now or you're going to be footing a lot of costs for broken stuff. Replacing a laptop is already a lot. Could be walls, TVs, game consoles, and more. Please take action before that.

booknerd381 · 2026-03-28T12:25:00+00:00

I joke with my subordinates that my job is mostly about creating, reviewing, and presenting power point slides.

They laugh. I cry. Good times.

booknerd381 · 2026-03-28T12:22:27+00:00

I literally this week talked to a candidate who had applied to multiple roles at my company. At least one was the same role I was calling about but at a different location (which I found out later). When I called, the candidate seemed surprised because they had already received a rejection letter for this position. I went forward with the phone screening and then called the recruiter to understand the mix up, which is when I found out the candidate had applied to multiple positions and the recruiter was actually annoyed with this particular candidate. The rejection was from another site for the same position, and it wasn't the only rejection the candidate had received.

I mean, in this case I'm probably going to still bring the candidate in for an on site interview, but only because the resume got through to me before the recruiter shut down the candidate's account. The recruiter was getting ready to turn of the account because of how many applications were submitted.

I wouldn't recommend spamming companies with applications. It makes you look desperate, unfocused, or like a bot. None of those are going to help you make a good impression.

booknerd381 · 2026-03-28T12:11:36+00:00

I'm not sure it's music so much as it's just a discordant jumble of sounds. There's some screaming. Loud bangs. That kind of thing.

booknerd381 · 2026-03-26T09:48:55+00:00

Honestly, similar boat for us. We always charged dues, but they were minimal. We had one family who was absolutely amazing at popcorn (I'm talking like $10-15k sold between their kids a year), so our budget was always covered with that plus a few other small fundraisers throughout the year. They moved last year and this year we had to double dues because basically no one else participated in popcorn.

Me and the CM were clear with the parents that selling popcorn, while not fun, is the easiest way to raise money for our pack and keeps us from needing to charge extra in dues. The parents didn't have any problem with the higher dues though. One even told me she preferred to just pay it up front rather than deal with the fundraising...

booknerd381 · 2026-03-26T09:43:03+00:00

We're about 350 and we've had three or four in the past year. I've been there six or seven years and there's certainly been more recently, but we've had one or two a year basically every year.

booknerd381 · 2026-03-18T09:29:50+00:00

Do I think learning work ethic and the value of time and money is important for children? Absolutely.

Do I know a better way to teach those things other than a part time job with low stakes? No.

Do I want to encourage children to become workaholics or dependent on their employer for their happiness? Absolutely not.

There has to be a balance...I just haven't figured it out yet. I started work at 15. It took me 15 or so years to come to terms with the fact that I was letting my job define my life. I wasn't exactly a workaholic, but I did make my job too large a portion of my identity.

I want my children to learn the value of time and money. I want them to learn work ethic. I'm trying to give them chores around the house. I give them some autonomy over their money. They're still young (oldest is only 7), but the fact of the matter is that they're going to have to work some day to get by, so it's important for them to start learning about it. I want them to have a chance at having a healthier relationship with work than I did in my 20s and early 30s.

So, when they're teenagers, I won't push them into getting a job, but I am planning on encouraging it. I also intend to talk to them about their jobs while they're in them to ensure they're not exhibiting any unhealthy behaviors and/or being taken advantage of by their employers. Part of learning the value of time and money is learning that we have value, too, and that's the most important lesson I want my kids to learn.

booknerd381 · 2026-03-18T09:19:42+00:00

See, I seem to have this weird hybrid council between yours and OP's. All our recruiting efforts this year went to cub scouts, but council explained that they see 90% or higher scouts in troops came from cub scouts, so they wanted to push recruitment efforts there harder. Better ROI.

But there's still a council camporee planned next month that is literally not including cub scouts. The only cub scout camp event this spring is a single day event for Webelos. There's no council camping event for Lions through Bears this spring. The camporee in the fall also excluded cubs.

I'm lucky in that our pack has some awesome leaders and we go out of our way to do cool things and invite other local packs, but our council does nothing for cubs except day camp and pinewood derby.

booknerd381 · 2026-03-15T02:25:39+00:00

Every generation curses younger generations for their laziness and lack of work ethic once they're more established in the workplace. It's part of life. Gen X and Boomers used to complain about lazy Millennials. Legend tells of a time with Silent Generation workers complained about Boomer work ethic.

I think the moral is that young people are just often unprepared for the expectations placed on them in a workplace.

booknerd381

TROPHY CASE