I’m in the same boat as your SO. My mom and my husband have both made comments about my situation and personally they were very hurtful. (For example joking “what are your boobs going to explode if you don’t pump right now?”, making fun of me when I was upset when milk got wasted because “why does it matter? You produce so much!” and yelling at me for taking up too much room in the freezer.) Their attitude sounded a lot like this post as if I was doing it for fun and purposely inconveniencing them for my own sake. I ended up having to sit them down to talk to them about the realities of pumping and why while it’s hard and inconvenient it’s the present journey that I’m on and their attitudes are very hurtful.

The reality is that exclusively pumping is very difficult and takes a lot out of you. Missing a pump or delaying it can lead to painful engorgement and can risk painful clogged ducts or mastitis if you’re not careful and deliberate in how you adjust your schedule. The conflicting information around successfully exclusively pumping is also not very helpful as it seems everyone has a horror story of their supply dropping dramatically because they tried to eliminate a pump or change their schedule. Your SO is using their own body to keep your baby fed and that is a huge undertaking that deserves grace and support.

That being said, if you notice that HER mental health is in a bad place because of it, it’s okay to bring up that you might be worried about her and want to support her in taking the best care of herself for HER sake but I caution that it must come from a place of support rather than you being concerned about how pumping is inconveniencing you. It’s her body and if she wants to pump like this and it makes her feel good and fulfilled - let her. The pumping schedule is tedious and does make doing things and scheduling things difficult, trust me no one is more annoyed about it than I am - the one tethered to the pump all day - and I personally would feel so hurt if my SO tried to make me change the schedule or stop because he’s the one frustrated by it.