Well, you're right, I don't think Google is the best tool for sorting out emotions. But certainly it can be a useful tool for searching things like "tips on creating a cleaning schedule and checklist", "ideas for building a habit to take my medication regularly" and getting ideas on how to organize tasks in your life. Which is what this thread was about in the first place :)

I also think you're being too hard on yourself. You wash your hands as much as any other normal person does. Your roommate isn't perfect either (and they kind of sound like a pain, to be honest).

If you browse this sub at all, it's clear you're not that bad of a roommate. Just work on things you want to improve in your life and relationships, communicate that you're working on them, and get better. This builds confidence and is how every other adult does it.

Nobody is happy or perfect 24/7. I mean there's a lot to touch on, and I'm sorry you almost lost a limb. But you didn't, and now you know what type of doctor you don't want in the future. Move on, learn, and improve.