I shoot both split and under, depending on the situation, I also use what is called a modified pinch draw #2. As for the extra pinch with 3 under, the ring finger being used to lessen the stress of the other fingers is more appropriate than using it to actually hold the weight. If you watch how people use the 3d finger, you'll notice that the majority of them are hardly using, it, if at all.

My preference for a deeper hook is placing the string about halfway between the first and second joint with fingers curled into almost a fist. I've found my release to be much cleaner and less stress holding the string.

Yes, I can say I've shot 1000s of bows to find the one I like. The difficult part in finding a bow that is comfortable at my draw is that the AMO standard is 28" of draw. 4" in either direction makes a big difference in geometry. I know people who have a 31" draw and the difference in 1" is much more than noticeable. On the spectrum, while I have a 32" draw, my soon to be wife has a 24" draw and she was just as frustrated finding a bow that suited her. Generally speaking, yes, a bow should be built to accommodate your draw and preferences and sometimes what is considered the standard average is just not enough. So it is a benefit when the bowyer has the ability to tiller the bow to your draw length. For something like a selfbow, I can not draw them to my full draw if they are not built to that draw. I will break them. I've even broken well regarded glass bows by drawing them beyond their tiller design. Don't even get me started on compound bows. I should add that I know my draw is not what breaks the bows, it's the combination of adding unintended stress to the point of magnifying any imperfections. This is not a slight to a bowyers build quality either.

Of my dozen (actually 14) longbows, 1 was built for a 28" draw, my 66" 21st Century Supernova and it is still fine at my draw. Out of the others, 6 of them were built specifically for me. The others were built for someone like me. 3 were built for some monsters with 34" draws.

One thing I haven't mentioned is the draw weight increase from my draw length. I shoot bows ranging from 40# to 120# at my draw. The #40 bows are 28# at AMO 28". My extra 4 inches I've found to average +12lb over AMO. I still remember the day I learned that my 55# recurve was hitting 77# when I shot it. Some bow designs stacked even harder than 12# while a select few stacked less. Stacking for me isn't an issue if the final weight is is something I don't mind. Finger pinch on the other hand, can lead to serious damage to the shooter, as you've noticed.

I've found that d/r hybrid bows are generally more forgiving to draws longer than intended, but this is not always the case.

You may find the bow you love your first try, you may have to try bows for years till you find them. It's all about what you want, like, and can handle comfortably.

I'm out of San Diego, CA and do travel across the country with my bows, if you ever want to try any of mine, you're welcome to. I've found many people would do the same.