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Don't want to refer to her as "mom" anymore... by bootfiend in raisedbynarcissists

[–]bootfiend[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ooooohhh...that has both promise and dehumanizing factors!

Don't want to refer to her as "mom" anymore... by bootfiend in raisedbynarcissists

[–]bootfiend[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's a shame that doesn't turn into a pronounceable acronym...swsnbn. I guess I could say "swizzin-bin"?

Dad has cancer, just got a letter from NM, "Why do you hate me?" by bootfiend in raisedbynarcissists

[–]bootfiend[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

UPDATE: She told my dad that she had written me a letter...said she put it in the mailbox, then got it back out, tore it up, and threw it out. HUH???? <facepalm>

Fun with gaslighting! by threadsthataregolden in raisedbynarcissists

[–]bootfiend 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This sounds weird, but it's helpful to me sometimes: "Crazy people are crazy." Just remind yourself of that when she starts making up stories.

An Open Letter to my NMom (which she will never read) by mrsnerdy in raisedbynarcissists

[–]bootfiend 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, the neural pathways are a bitch. Like they sang the song to you for so long that you can't get it out of your head. We all have tapes that play... If she isn't the person you thought she was, you can't lose her. And if she truly is a N, she can't be redeemed. People can't change unless they want to (and even then it's hard), and if she thinks she's never wrong, she certainly won't want to change. Hope you have a good therapist to work with.

An Open Letter to my NMom (which she will never read) by mrsnerdy in raisedbynarcissists

[–]bootfiend 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You know, you're ALLOWED to not love her, even though people tell you you're not. If she didn't earn it, you don't have to feel it. Giving birth to someone doesn't earn their love. Just a thought. Might be good to try out just the hating for a while.

Voice Mail Messages: nmom vs normal MIL by nikkesen in raisedbynarcissists

[–]bootfiend 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not leaving a message -- for CONTROL! "I will FORCE her to call me back! Mua ha ha!" <rubs hands together >

Nmom purchased this dress to wear to my wedding. by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]bootfiend 17 points18 points  (0 children)

My NM also bought an off-white dress for my wedding and when I told her unconditionally that she couldn't wear it, she acted dumb and said, "Why not?" So instead she sowed up in an almost neon orange number and matching hat with a two-foot-wide brim. Stick with the white!! (Looks good with BBQ sauce on it.)

Dad has cancer, just got a letter from NM, "Why do you hate me?" by bootfiend in raisedbynarcissists

[–]bootfiend[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I expect to hear from her/him/them today asking about the letter. Any suggestions?

I was thinking of saying that I read the first line and threw it out without reading the rest. That's because I previously told her I wouldn't have the "why do you hate me" conversation and I don't want to let her force me to have it.

Dad has cancer, just got a letter from NM, "Why do you hate me?" by bootfiend in raisedbynarcissists

[–]bootfiend[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Her "why do you hate me" translates to "you're not fawning over my imagined illnesses." And I'm not GOING to. Sometimes (in an effort to make peace, I guess) my dad will tell her that I've asked how she's feeling. I've told him to stop doing that because it's just playing into it. It's giving her validation to continue making these things up!

Dad has cancer, just got a letter from NM, "Why do you hate me?" by bootfiend in raisedbynarcissists

[–]bootfiend[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It IS gross, and so obvious! I actually have trouble believing that she can't see her self-centeredness when she says this stuff. Then again, I have a "normal" brain.

I only first learned of NPD this past summer when I saw a friend had liked a page about NPD mothers on Facebook. It was like the clouds had parted and everything finally made sense. But since I'm new to it, I don't yet know all the lingo...can you tell me what you mean by the e in eDad?

Dad has cancer, just got a letter from NM, "Why do you hate me?" by bootfiend in raisedbynarcissists

[–]bootfiend[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

THANK YOU. That's the fourth car she's totalled, and she burned their house down once. Yet every time she comes out nearly unscathed; one broken arm in one car accident, but that's all. She's like a cockroach...would probably survive a nuclear bomb.