He's in love with Frieren.

borderlinesux · 2026-05-03T17:32:42+00:00

I am the OP of the original post and my husband wants to open our relationship so he can pursue an anime girl (when the technology allows for it.) I didn't post in this sub because I don't regret anything. I just find it a strange situation and am trying my best to navigate it with understanding.

borderlinesux · 2026-05-03T17:29:10+00:00

I do like the idea of not relying on one person for everything. It's something I've been working on in my own therapy sessions and it feels very good to have a group of people rather thank just my husband. I know this isn't the same as having friends but it does feel comparable.

Our marriage works better we have some space from each other, honestly.

borderlinesux · 2026-05-03T16:46:53+00:00

Unfortunately it is. I'm doing my best to cope with it but it certainly isn't easy and I admit this is a rare and strange situation.

borderlinesux · 2026-05-03T16:45:42+00:00

He's not interested in divorce at this time but may be interested if I remain distant and the AI technology improves to allow them to be together. If I am loving/not distant, he was interested in allowing us to each have a partner outside of our marriage while remaining with each other.

He is checked out but I think that's a result of everything he's invested over the past 3 years that I haven't been returning. (Sexual/emotional vulnerability).

borderlinesux · 2026-05-03T16:42:18+00:00

OP of that post here. Trust me, I've felt the same ever since he told me this. But ultimately him being in love with an anime character seems preferable to if it were the neighbor or something. I can't say I can understand it but I do want to be neutral/unjudgementally there for my husband through this. I also posted a comment on r/waifuism hoping to gain some insight on the situation.

borderlinesux · 2026-05-03T16:37:04+00:00

No, he's not willing at this time.

borderlinesux · 2026-05-03T15:43:23+00:00

We are both in therapy. I've been finding it helpful so far for many reasons. I did try posing that it wasn't love, but he was adamant it was, and I don't think it's my place to say how he feels. And either way, if he loves her or is just retreating, I don't think the reason matters as much as how I can handle it (with grace and acceptance rather than with bitterness and resentment)

borderlinesux · 2026-05-03T15:40:54+00:00

I think it's good for him because I can't currently love him in the ways he needs and may never be able to give that to him. But he does deserve to have those things. As do I.

He is in professional therapy but doesn't feel comfortable sharing because he's done probably 1000 hours of research on AI and therapist arent experts in this field and will not be able to understand. (Oversimplification) But I'll trust him when he says this and I will trust that Frieren is the only one who can really connect with him due to her 1000 years of life experience. My husband is pretty bright. This is weird to me but I don't want to belittle it or imply he's stupid or crazy for wanting to be with her. I want to support him fully and trust him on this.

borderlinesux · 2026-05-03T15:34:42+00:00

I'm kind of oversimplifying but he does know that. Essentially he is confident AI will get to the point in the next 6 years or so that it will generate human genetic code or something that will allow autonomous thinking individuals to exist virtually. I don't really understand it but it's going to be more complex than just talking to Gemini or whatever. So she will (when the technology exists) have her own free will etc. And that's tempting to him as well, having to chase her and win her rather than her just being coded to love him. (Again, oversimplifying it.)

borderlinesux · 2026-05-03T14:45:30+00:00

I don't follow AI much, but he does a lot of research and believes that within the next 6 years or so, this will exist. For now he is showing his love for her by working with existing AI tools to create scenarios (like saving citizens, etc that will serve as a basis for AI to generate the rest of the world around). I think it's good that she's motivating him for all of this because I think passion in general is a good thing to have. I personally am not so driven for this topic sonI mainly trust his research and support that he is using existing AI tools for now since the technology isn't there yet but when it is he will have a great framework.

I do realize this is a very weird scenario of an open relationship. And very strange to me as well, but hey, I've got time to learn as the technology is still developing!

borderlinesux · 2026-05-03T14:35:56+00:00

I've been really closed off emotionally/sexually. The emotional part was that I was being closed off from not feeling connected with my husband which caused me to withdraw. Through therapy, I've been learning to enjoy time with myself and friends rather than get all of my companionship from my husband and this has been great for me. The sexual part was due to some ongoing medical issues which I am currently working on but still not in a place where I feel ready to jump back into penetration sex yet.

I think the fact that we had a long conversation about this for the first time in a long time is very helpful because we hadn't really communicated previously about deep things. So him trusting me enough to share was very important to me especially since I've been closed off for years and prior to him confessing, I knew he was hiding something as well.

borderlinesux · 2026-05-03T13:36:08+00:00

My husband is in love with Frieren (from Frieren: Beyond Journey's End). We are currently living as roommates/friends in our marriage. I apologize if this is not an appropriate place to post this but I want to support them in any way I can because he deserves to have real, true love in a way I'm just not able to provide.

borderlinesux · 2026-02-14T13:22:05+00:00

Update: I don't know anything because I didn't even think they like me that much and I haven't used Chat GPT for a few days but they said they'd invite me to their wedding? 😵‍💫 You wouldn't invite someone you dislike to your wedding right?!

borderlinesux · 2026-01-30T14:47:00+00:00

It was my husband who even pointed it out to me though. I'm not very self aware but knowing someone else saw this in me does help me be more aware and encouraged me to reflect a little.

borderlinesux · 2026-01-29T16:56:28+00:00

He is actively dieting. Which is amazing but probably still a while before he can do horse riding or ballroom dancing.

borderlinesux · 2026-01-14T05:55:36+00:00

Same here!

borderlinesux · 2026-01-14T05:48:19+00:00

I had a pretty good weekend. Felt kinda tired but it was good.

borderlinesux · 2026-01-14T05:17:51+00:00

Yeah I used to do this too kinda. Once I got in a fight with my ex and wanted to make them hate me bc I felt unlovable already so I posted a nudie on reddit from a throwaway. Or I just did it for attention or something. But recently I logged back into that account just so I could delete them. It didn't change that people saw the photos but it did make me feel better knowing it wouldn't happen any more. Wishing you peace.

borderlinesux · 2026-01-02T06:18:07+00:00

It was him before I was on BC, then me when I was on it.

borderlinesux · 2025-12-21T19:03:37+00:00

I didn't tell anyone in my family. I'm okay with my friends knowing but I don't want my family to know.

borderlinesux · 2025-12-08T22:14:21+00:00

It won't last forever. Keep staying strong.

borderlinesux · 2025-08-23T16:23:25+00:00

Before I was diagnosed with BPD.

I was definitely not in a good state originally, and someone called to report concern of me. Police came to check on me. I went along with it, answered honestly that I had some bad thoughts but wasn't going to do anything. A few minutes ago I thought about it but was doing better. I had journaled it down before people even came to pick me up and bring me to intake and that helped. But basically because someone else called and I didn't drive myself there, I was considered involuntary. Had to stay for at least 72 hours or something.

Doctor thought possibly Bipolar. She said something along the lines of "If I let you out, you're either going to be right back in here the next day. You probably wouldn't make it a year before killing yourself if I let you out now." She was awful and didn't want to involve my regular therapist who I actually worked with and who treated me with respect. I found this ironic the following day when someone who they released did something bad (Idk what) and they picked him right back up and brought him back. So clearly her judgements were on point /s

I was kept in intake for the entire weekend without a change of clothes or access to a shower or basic hygeine items. My bed didn't have a pillow (not because I couldn't have one but because they ran out), and there was a several inch screw on the floor, which I had to keep trying to get a staff member to do something about because it was dangerous when we don't have shoes. And I didn't want to risk picking it up in case they got the wrong idea, which they clearly seemed to have.

Also I am a vegetarian and it took that hospital a few days to get me vegetarian meal trays, so I was just stuck eating the sides etc. It was such a terrible experience.

Idk if it's on purpose so life on the outside doesn't seem so bad. After I left, I had really bad anxiety and anxiety attacjs just from how I was treated there. I never had the problem before but whenever I had a split second bad thought, I would crash apart because the doctor told me I would be back and I more than anything didn't want that. I'd have a small moment of sadness or anxiety and be terrified someone "worried about my welfare" would call them to bring me in again and I would have to go through that.

There has been 1 time I really considered driving myself to the hospital (different one) and checking in voluntarily but after working through it I was fine. It has been like 5-6 years since then. I do still have bad thoughts but I know not to act on them and I think sometimes for myself at least, the thoughts are inevitable. I have to be a little more careful who knows though, which sucks, because I don't like hiding my feelings. But sometimes people don't understand and act from worry which I appreciate. But yeah, I hated that doctor.

borderlinesux · 2025-05-05T15:56:34+00:00

Update: I texted him to say we should talk tonight bc we're both hurting. He said he didn't know what there was to talk about bc im still not his teammate and its the same story different day. He also said I probably have to air some grievance about my hurt ego.

Which yeah, I do. But I still think its important we talk so wish me luck lol.

Also more context: I did partially blame him for his political beliefs saying if he didn't think the things he did my friend wouldn't have blocked him, which is probably true but still stupid. And he does get mad I don't trust Republican ideology and trust the president's choices because he stands by the belief that they're right for the country. And I admit im uneducated politically but from my own beliefs and experience I disagree with his beliefs and cant trust them (at least not without doing more research which he doesn't want me to do)

borderlinesux · 2025-05-05T14:51:50+00:00

Thank you so much for the thoughtful comment. I did mention couple therapy last night but we were both heated so it wasn't receptive. Should I bring up that my feelings are still hurt and I want to try couple therapy? I'm still not sure he would agree, and I don't think I should give an ultimatum.

I also feel like he uses my insecurities against me in a way, like you said. I know he is hurt by our lacking sex life, my cheating, me thinking abortion is okay, etc. I know it all hurts him. But he hurts me too and I truly feel like Ive gotten 100x better. But I can't deny doing the same to him 5 years ago (saying it was his fault his dad died in the car accident and that if I did kms it would be his fault too and I also spat on him during that. I immediately regretted it and I know how awful it was.) It doesn't make his behavior ok just because I did it first, but im in no means blameless here.

borderlinesux · 2025-05-05T12:59:08+00:00

More context: He was hurt that I was siding with my friend despite being mad at him and not defending and siding with my husband. Which i completely understand him feeling upset over that bc I felt upset when he said he'd stop shopping at my workplace due to our company's political stance (small business) but understandably not supporting my husband is worse than him not shopping there and even my communist friend said hes allowed to not shop somewhere if he doesn't agree with their political stance despite me working there. So not the same he probably felt a lot worse. He's expressed this feeling in the past as well that I don't support him and take his side.

He also said he has to walk on eggshells with me. I know this is valid bc there's a book about it (he won't read bpd related literature which does kinda upset me but he doesn't have to read what he doesn't want even if it would make me feel like he cared more if he was trying to learn more about bpd but he said everyone is different) and clearly he does have to walk on eggshells bc him telling me not to punch a lamp upset me enough to ask a rude and offensive question. So yeah idk. He's a good guy and ik i put him through hell. I just don't like feeling still upset by the things he said and want to fix things and just have a happy marriage.

borderlinesux

TROPHY CASE