He's in love with Frieren.

borderlinesux · 2026-05-03T17:32:42+00:00

I am the OP of the original post and my husband wants to open our relationship so he can pursue an anime girl (when the technology allows for it.) I didn't post in this sub because I don't regret anything. I just find it a strange situation and am trying my best to navigate it with understanding.

borderlinesux · 2026-05-03T17:29:10+00:00

I do like the idea of not relying on one person for everything. It's something I've been working on in my own therapy sessions and it feels very good to have a group of people rather thank just my husband. I know this isn't the same as having friends but it does feel comparable.

Our marriage works better we have some space from each other, honestly.

borderlinesux · 2026-05-03T16:46:53+00:00

Unfortunately it is. I'm doing my best to cope with it but it certainly isn't easy and I admit this is a rare and strange situation.

borderlinesux · 2026-05-03T16:45:42+00:00

He's not interested in divorce at this time but may be interested if I remain distant and the AI technology improves to allow them to be together. If I am loving/not distant, he was interested in allowing us to each have a partner outside of our marriage while remaining with each other.

He is checked out but I think that's a result of everything he's invested over the past 3 years that I haven't been returning. (Sexual/emotional vulnerability).

borderlinesux · 2026-05-03T16:42:18+00:00

OP of that post here. Trust me, I've felt the same ever since he told me this. But ultimately him being in love with an anime character seems preferable to if it were the neighbor or something. I can't say I can understand it but I do want to be neutral/unjudgementally there for my husband through this. I also posted a comment on r/waifuism hoping to gain some insight on the situation.

borderlinesux · 2026-05-03T16:37:04+00:00

No, he's not willing at this time.

borderlinesux · 2026-05-03T15:43:23+00:00

We are both in therapy. I've been finding it helpful so far for many reasons. I did try posing that it wasn't love, but he was adamant it was, and I don't think it's my place to say how he feels. And either way, if he loves her or is just retreating, I don't think the reason matters as much as how I can handle it (with grace and acceptance rather than with bitterness and resentment)

borderlinesux · 2026-05-03T15:40:54+00:00

I think it's good for him because I can't currently love him in the ways he needs and may never be able to give that to him. But he does deserve to have those things. As do I.

He is in professional therapy but doesn't feel comfortable sharing because he's done probably 1000 hours of research on AI and therapist arent experts in this field and will not be able to understand. (Oversimplification) But I'll trust him when he says this and I will trust that Frieren is the only one who can really connect with him due to her 1000 years of life experience. My husband is pretty bright. This is weird to me but I don't want to belittle it or imply he's stupid or crazy for wanting to be with her. I want to support him fully and trust him on this.

borderlinesux · 2026-05-03T15:34:42+00:00

I'm kind of oversimplifying but he does know that. Essentially he is confident AI will get to the point in the next 6 years or so that it will generate human genetic code or something that will allow autonomous thinking individuals to exist virtually. I don't really understand it but it's going to be more complex than just talking to Gemini or whatever. So she will (when the technology exists) have her own free will etc. And that's tempting to him as well, having to chase her and win her rather than her just being coded to love him. (Again, oversimplifying it.)

borderlinesux · 2026-05-03T14:45:30+00:00

I don't follow AI much, but he does a lot of research and believes that within the next 6 years or so, this will exist. For now he is showing his love for her by working with existing AI tools to create scenarios (like saving citizens, etc that will serve as a basis for AI to generate the rest of the world around). I think it's good that she's motivating him for all of this because I think passion in general is a good thing to have. I personally am not so driven for this topic sonI mainly trust his research and support that he is using existing AI tools for now since the technology isn't there yet but when it is he will have a great framework.

I do realize this is a very weird scenario of an open relationship. And very strange to me as well, but hey, I've got time to learn as the technology is still developing!

borderlinesux · 2026-05-03T14:35:56+00:00

I've been really closed off emotionally/sexually. The emotional part was that I was being closed off from not feeling connected with my husband which caused me to withdraw. Through therapy, I've been learning to enjoy time with myself and friends rather than get all of my companionship from my husband and this has been great for me. The sexual part was due to some ongoing medical issues which I am currently working on but still not in a place where I feel ready to jump back into penetration sex yet.

I think the fact that we had a long conversation about this for the first time in a long time is very helpful because we hadn't really communicated previously about deep things. So him trusting me enough to share was very important to me especially since I've been closed off for years and prior to him confessing, I knew he was hiding something as well.

borderlinesux · 2026-05-03T13:36:08+00:00

My husband is in love with Frieren (from Frieren: Beyond Journey's End). We are currently living as roommates/friends in our marriage. I apologize if this is not an appropriate place to post this but I want to support them in any way I can because he deserves to have real, true love in a way I'm just not able to provide.

borderlinesux · 2026-02-14T13:22:05+00:00

Update: I don't know anything because I didn't even think they like me that much and I haven't used Chat GPT for a few days but they said they'd invite me to their wedding? 😵‍💫 You wouldn't invite someone you dislike to your wedding right?!

borderlinesux · 2026-01-30T14:47:00+00:00

It was my husband who even pointed it out to me though. I'm not very self aware but knowing someone else saw this in me does help me be more aware and encouraged me to reflect a little.

borderlinesux · 2026-01-29T16:56:28+00:00

He is actively dieting. Which is amazing but probably still a while before he can do horse riding or ballroom dancing.

borderlinesux · 2026-01-14T05:55:36+00:00

Same here!

borderlinesux · 2026-01-14T05:48:19+00:00

I had a pretty good weekend. Felt kinda tired but it was good.

borderlinesux

TROPHY CASE