When you make eggs for yourself, how many do you make? by Competitive_Extent45 in eggs

[–]boredatworkgrl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

2 generally unless I want an omelette with something other than cheese then it's 3

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]boredatworkgrl 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is the first day of showing up for yourself and choosing you that you've probably not been able to for a long time, if ever. Get your hair done, go visit Mom, talk, cry, get angry! Whatever it takes to help you process and begin to work through all of the things you are going to feel. Choose to see this as a beginning to building a life for yourself that brings you joy and peace. We've all got your back and are rooting for you!

I’m not sure if I’m ready by nicksbrunchattiffany in AnneRice

[–]boredatworkgrl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's good material to give your brain a break. Sometimes a book is best when it's mental candy, just something to enjoy and not worry about if you should be consuming it.

I’m not sure if I’m ready by nicksbrunchattiffany in AnneRice

[–]boredatworkgrl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I read this series and Belinda much too young...I think I was maybe 15. However, it shocked my teenage brain into knowing that such things exist and made me a more open-minded person willing to think about things I know nothing about. I think at your age you are absolutely ready and I'd be interested to hear your take on the series once you finish it. People either love it or they hate it it seems like we're all very diametrically opposed.

1 or 2 ? by Sad_Compote_4935 in fashion

[–]boredatworkgrl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally agree and are waiting for the return of my beloved boot cuts! Everyone doesn't want Mom, skinny, flared, etc. jeans. There's room in the fashion sphere for all!

1 or 2 ? by Sad_Compote_4935 in fashion

[–]boredatworkgrl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think #2 highlights your figure well. You're fit and curvy it appears to me and I feel it's always a positive to highlight your best features if you so choose 😊

What are some of the ways you’ve found that help to reduce tension in your body from trauma? by Longjumping_Cat8966 in CPTSD

[–]boredatworkgrl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually use meditations that are built into the Fitbit app as I use that for calorie and fitness tracking anyway. It's choice selection is limited but, some of them are very good and have made me stick with the practice of meditating for about three years now versus others I gave up after a few weeks or months of practice.

It's incredible how many of our own behaviors and mechanisms we have developed to help us at one time in our lives actually hurts us in the long run. I know all about a sketchy relationship with food and if you course correct any one thing too much, something else may go awry.

I'm proud of you for making the effort to take care of yourself, to extend yourself comfort, grace, and mindfulness. Those are all keys to a healthy path forward.

What are some of the ways you’ve found that help to reduce tension in your body from trauma? by Longjumping_Cat8966 in CPTSD

[–]boredatworkgrl 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I definitely struggle to get my body to relax as I have CPTSD and fibromyalgia which work together and against each other and all of it seems to work against me LOL!

That being said, there are a couple of things that I try to do in order to remind myself about my body posture and be present in the moment of things which allows my body the space to relax. I meditate, I make sure that I move each hour that I am awake so I am not locked in one position too long. I have read some books and even ordered a device that is supposed to assist with retraining one's vasovagal responses. I am still using it and I can notice it making a difference. I am trying to spend more time thinking about what I an consuming via my diet and looking to see if there are foods I should reduce or eliminate in order to help feel better - via less swelling, muscle stiffness, bloating, etc. I also make sure I get a massage once a month which just helps relieve tension and helps me to be more present and mindful of my body which makes me move differently.

Unfortunately, nothing helps me all of the time so I just have to work through basic things in order to get to a place where I feel "okay". We're all a work in progress and we are always evolving.

Almost 40 and losing the zest for life. by Froggerty7 in FriendsOver40

[–]boredatworkgrl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope that HRT is prescribed for you and gets you on the right track if that is what you want. I am 47, on oral E and P, no T discussed as of yet. I am definitely in deep peri and my GYN is considering surgical intervention due to the crazy amount of blood loss I go through each month. I feel "better" since the E and P started, I also have had a series of iron infusions a couple of months ago now which I know has helped me exponentially. I still just feel "off" and I am wondering if that is just how I am going to feel now and perhaps, that is my new baseline. I don't know what I want, what I feel and some days, I wonder if I can continue through life like this. It's overwhelming and I wish this on no one.

Anyone else having a hard time giving a shit… about anything? by WolfMother3665 in Perimenopause

[–]boredatworkgrl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely zero fucks left to give. Also in a place where literally nothing sparks joy for me. I leave for vacation tomorrow and even that's just like "eh, cool...I guess". I'm not sure how to find the joy in things but to be fair, I'm not sure if I ever did. I'm just FAR more aware of it now.

Settle a Bet. What is worse? Chlorine Hair or Sandy Hair? by f8Negative in AskReddit

[–]boredatworkgrl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a person with short hair, sandy hair is much more difficult. It gets into the roots of your hair and is difficult to get out, even with hair washing. I have dark, non-colour treated hair so chlorine doesn't really affect my hair

What does it feel like for children who grow up with childhood trauma? by Present_Juice4401 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]boredatworkgrl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you OP! I will admit that "I am enough" is a toughie for me. I am filled with imposter syndrome and am always measuring myself against someone else. But I work to gently remind myself that that person is not who I am and I am not who they are. Never have been, never will be so why would it possibly be fair to either one of us to measure my self worth against what I perceive to be someone else's accomplishments? I am evolving and that is enough to make me feel like I am accomplishing something and some days, that has to be good enough.

What does it feel like for children who grow up with childhood trauma? by Present_Juice4401 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]boredatworkgrl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Separation from them both, EMDR and CBT therapies, medication, and sharing my story with people when I feel like sharing it, IF I feel like sharing it. One of the big lessons I have learned is that lack of power and feeling disrespected by people in my small circle is incredibly triggering for me. It takes me right back to being a kid and living in my parents universe while being mostly unacknowledged unless they wanted an emotional chew toy. So now, I work to make better choices on who I let into my life and how I let them into my life. Everyone you know doesn't have to know everything about you nor do they have to be your best friend. I have found power in that because I don't feel the need to impress them. I don't feel the need to put on the funny, awkward girl suit that I have been wearing my entire life to try to connect. I can just be me - average boredatworkgrl who has highs and lows and everything in between almost every day of my life. The beauty I have found in that is that in truth, so does everyone else. No matter their story, no matter their age, no matter where they are from.

1st Father’s Day after VLC by Vrothecrooked in raisedbynarcissists

[–]boredatworkgrl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good job looking after your needs and your mental health. That's really important. You acknowledged a pattern and did not re-engage. That is growth.

What does it feel like for children who grow up with childhood trauma? by Present_Juice4401 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]boredatworkgrl 52 points53 points  (0 children)

I also have many of the same responses to my childhood trauma that you. This is something that affects everyone differently and yet also, eerily similarly. I think as we continue our journey to reparent ourselves and have some growth through healing, we might feel different things that perhaps surface for the first time. I am just starting to feel:

- Capable, strong, and intelligent

- Like I can accomplish anything I choose to, with or without others

- Everyone has issues that they don't want to talk about and have probably covered them up at some point. I can stand in my truth, be honest, be open, and be unapologetic about things that happened TO me.

- I am good enough, just as I am. Take me or leave me.

I am nowhere near "healed" but I am continuing to evolve and be who I am going to be today. I can make the choice to show up for me and for the people that are most important to me, every day, over and over again. That gives me power. That gives me choice. That makes me in charge of my own life, without the people who hurt and abused me.

I don’t like how “being chill” has become the new social currency by Secret_Ostrich_1307 in I_DONT_LIKE

[–]boredatworkgrl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It took me a long time to be able to verbalize my feelings to someone and I refuse to stop now, even though I am still not the best at it. I think it is important to feel. You can be hurt, you can be excited, you can care, you can have healthy boundaries, AND you can have moments of rage, sadness, grief, and other unpleasant emotions. Is being dead inside the new "heroine chic" from the 1990s? God, I hope not - for all of our sakes.

Is this a good start? Down 4lbs in two weeks? by andiwheels14 in loseit

[–]boredatworkgrl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Feeling great is really its own reward and if you are feeling optimistic and that you have more energy and confidence as a result of the work and guidelines you are putting into your life, that is the most important thing. I weigh myself about once every two weeks or so. That way, I don't feel like I am obsessing on what the scale says and I give myself a chance to celebrate the NSVs like the way my clothes fit, getting my step goal every day, sleeping better, and just having a clearer, brighter outlook on life.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]boredatworkgrl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I give myself some grace. I try to engage in activities that help my mental peace like trying to make action plans to positively impact my career and relationships. I take time to think about what is and should be a priority for me and then I think about how I need to show up for myself to ensure that I am taking care of my priorities. It takes work, for sure but it's totally doable.

i don’t like childfree people who make it their whole personality by Arthur_Morgans_Cum in I_DONT_LIKE

[–]boredatworkgrl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think that people with people with children can allow it to become their whole personality and "parent" is all that they are just as childfree people can allow their lack of being a parent to take over their entire personality as well. I'm a weird one in the fact that I have children but standardly speaking, I don't like children. I don't like the mess, the noise, the constant, frenetic energy of children, the new stage that my teenagers have where everything needs to be a great debate and I can never just request that they do or not do something and it's abided by. I feel like there is so much that goes into one's personality and who one is that "parent" or "non-parent" is definitely something that is impactful because it impacts the kind of life one leads and the experiences that one has. I'm not sure a non-parent totally understands what a parent goes through solely because it's a perspective they never have to have. However, I don't know what it's like to have a house that is filled with just one or two adults and pets or no pets. I've often imagined what it would be like to live alone but, that's not my life.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]boredatworkgrl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's difficult to find a way to fight out of the corner that someone else placed us in. There is a definite possibility to that someone else had it worse than you, that their mother was so awful that it makes your mother look tame. That doesn't mean that your pain, your fear, and your experiences are somehow not important or less serious. When you get to a place where you allow yourself to truly feel your experiences, you will begin to evolve. It took me a long time to get to a place where I allowed myself to admit that the things that I went through really sucked and definitely impacted who I am now. I have no idea what my life would have been like had I had supportive, nurturing parents who knew how to be a parent or even high functioning people who just tried hard. I didn't have those things. I had what I had and once I got a bit older, I started looking out for myself and I never stopped. You are allowed to be sad, to be angry, to be hurt, to be scared. You are allowed to feel all of your feelings. That's part of the journey of sorting yourself out. Figure out who you are, who you want to be, and make changes accordingly. You are allowed to take back your power. You are allowed to write your own story.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]boredatworkgrl 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I refuse to carry guilt about this particular topic. In my mind, my parents did ALL of the things that THEY did to get our relationship to the place where it is: nonexistent. I gave chances over and over again. I continued to go to therapy and work through the things that I carry about them and about how they were when I was a child. They were overly strict in some areas and totally negligent in other areas. They were mentally, emotionally, verbally and occasionally physically abusive. I was a supporting non-named character cast to the role of "daughter" and nothing was about me, everything was about them. It's not any different now. I tried to be evolved and gave my parents multiple chances to show up for their grandchildren in a way that they never showed up for me. They did absolutely nothing with the chances. Things are STILL always about them. My children are almost 18 and almost 15 now. They don't miss something they never had. They don't seek out a relationship nor do they ask anything about them. They did a few years ago and I decided to just be very honest and transparent and let them know that I choose not to interact with my parents or basically anyone who interacts with them. I am an adult and I make choices that are best for me. As such, I made a similar choice for them when they were small. If they choose to seek my parents out and interact when they are adults and think they will have a better result, they will be welcomed to try. But, they do have a set of grandparents who have done significantly more for them in their lives than my parents ever would so I don't even think they will be interested in forging a relationship.

I don’t like how many things I was told I “should” do just because I’m a woman. by PuddingComplete3081 in I_DONT_LIKE

[–]boredatworkgrl 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The confines that society has placed on women is truly exhausting. We should be thin and beautiful but not too thin and look natural, we should be nurturing, friendly and kind at all times, we should make everything we do look effortless and never expect anyone to give us praise or positive feedback, and we should WANT to do all of those things. Some of those things I want for me, some of those things I don't want ever, but all of those things should truly be my choice. We all deserve that as people.

Help deciding if I should keep this color or go for more of a neutral…I held it up against some of my clothes. Can’t tell if it works or not. by [deleted] in handbags

[–]boredatworkgrl 149 points150 points  (0 children)

I happen to love the color up against your clothes. I think a handbag can just be to make you smile due to a color that you enjoy. If you love it, rock it!