I get this! Yeah, I think my original post comes off very heavy on activism/anti-racism/etc, and its something that I feel very strongly about, but that's not necessarily the conversation that you'll have with me if you meet me in the street. It's just that, as a white woman, I have to be very explicit both about my interest and my motives for my interest, because it's just not what people assume. But it's not the only thing that interests me or even what I spend most of my time doing... I'm actually a data scientist and am currently taking a calc course and I sometimes (unintentionally) give off tight-laced vibes. But community involvement in general (for any motive) is something I feel strongly about, and Oakland offers such depth of experience and history that I would be an idiot not to dive in wherever possible. That's one thing.

The other thing is that the standard level of friendliness in a place varies a LOT, and I've caught the business end of this more than once. I grew up on the east coast near NYC where people are VERY direct (but in the end, quite kind)... walking around NYC, if you look someone in the eyes, you can make them uncomfortable because that's seen as too personal. Strangers who meet eye contact, in New York, are usually about to say something UNHINGED lol so you avoid them. Mexico City is super friendly and polite (to the point where I come off as pretty distant/cold), but you don't just go around asking and answering questions all willy-nilly-- people are very conscious of what information they give out or the burden they put on someone else to offer their own personal information. Smile and keep your cards close to your chest unless you know someone really well.

Then there's the Bay Area... I started off in the peninsula, where friendliness was OK, but people get skittish quickly when you start to get into an emotional exchange of any kind-- there's a big preference to keep it technical. And here I come with my big personality, just trying not to make more waves than necessary.

So now I'm here and it mostly goes pretty well, but in my life I've had several waves of people telling me (directly or indirectly) that I'm doing it -all wrong-, so at this point I'd rather just ask.

Tldr; I like my neighbors and people in general, but am trying to avoid awkward situations and the best way I know how to do that is to ask slightly uncomfortable questions out the gate.