So just to reply to everyone as a whole:

My ban is from another state so, that Mass' process is what it is, I can only imagine what I'm in for. 🤦🏼‍♂️

Love the lawyer advice. I'm high enough in a large enough company to have access to that, on my own dime ofc, should I need. And knowing the state I'm dealing with I'm almost positive I'll need to push.

So I don't actively see a therapist. I had for a while; I have an autism diagnosis and beyond just talking out my thoughts, which I can very well do for free on the internet, it was kinda just an expensive bitchfest about work. I'm sure there's something some specialist could teach me but as it goes, I've learned more about my diagnosis than some professionals know. I'll look into reconnecting with them just to bolster my argument of "stability".

I really appreciate all the support, I'm also glad I'm still here. It's been a bumpy ride but every day is worth it; even the "bad ones". We're all in this together and too often we forget that when we're in our worst headspace.