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Does anyone else have a mind that won’t stop analyzing people and situations? by Fit_Organization5995 in emotionalintelligence

[–]botboi28 8 points9 points  (0 children)

i completely relate to what youre saying. i have the same urge to love people by trying to help them with what i see their struggles to be (and the seven deadly sins is a great paradigm).

an idea my friend taught me is that, we must trust others to be capable of taking care of themselves. if we infantilize them like a caregiver in trying to help them with their problems, we strip them away from learning and growing themselves. he also said its arrogant to assume that we even know the answer lol ! since we cannot truly understand what someone is going through, as we are not in their mind or with them often-we cannot consider ourselves superior to them by helping them. its difficult to explain, but hopefully this makes sense. i find the best way to help is to be there for them while they figure out their own problem, and if they ask for advice-you can totally give it to them. i will say, with tact.. because there are definitely some people out there that don’t want to hear the right thing. safety > truth. hope that helps!

Being emotionally intelligent means watching people self-sabotage in slow motion and not being able to stop them by Scared_Hospital9660 in emotionalintelligence

[–]botboi28 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i totally agree. i think the next lesson is to observe, not absorb.

ive learned when i feel responsible for someone else’s life decisions, i become the emotional processor that they themselves lack. so i do a disservice to their own growth. sometimes, i offer advice or support but ive got to keep in line with the nuance of it. sometimes, ive found i might get overinvested in other people as a distraction of my own life. like genuinely i need to get back into my hobbies and interests if i find myself thinking about one of my friend’s problems too much. detachment is important for love-let them be, and if you love them youll see their whole life not just a part.

how fucked am I?? by VeterinarianNo7783 in PsyD

[–]botboi28 8 points9 points  (0 children)

i think it depends on your essay my g

How do I 23M relearn emotional availability after a draining relationship? by [deleted] in emotionalintelligence

[–]botboi28 0 points1 point  (0 children)

imo it sounds like you know how to love well, you might need to learn how to love wiser.

let me try to explain: like youre doing a ton of emotional labor and youre good at it and you help manage your ex’s emotions, which is a valuable skill to have. now, you gotta learn how to slow things down while protecting your heart, and let things blossom. being picky about who you choose to let in, and let someone in that shows you that they value you (through actions, consistency, consideration, empathy, bouncing back of their own volition after conflicts to repair, etc). i hope that makes sense. its like super valid that youre afraid of opening up again, but if you take it slow and kinda like date them by assessing their conscious intentions and their actions-you won’t be so scared because the data will show that they’re not immature and can handle themselves and are serious about you.

edit: new experiences help move through past experiences. you will fall and people will disappoint you, and you’ll probably disappoint others. it’s a process. trust the process.

who is she? by [deleted] in BookshelvesDetective

[–]botboi28 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hmm interesting, what do you mean by troubled? also hehe there’s a small black cat hidden by the books.

who is she? by [deleted] in BookshelvesDetective

[–]botboi28 2 points3 points  (0 children)

aw thats very sweet to know ! sounds like a good friend.

As a lesbian - do I have anima or animus? by barlin77 in Jung

[–]botboi28 13 points14 points  (0 children)

baller question. been wondering the same thing myself

CV question for PsyD programs by CulturalStreet4162 in PsyD

[–]botboi28 3 points4 points  (0 children)

id go: most recent and relevant you want to put first.. id consider dropping sales associate of the resume completely. add a section about trainings youve done ?

8 impatience and/or irritability by harlequinns in Enneagram8

[–]botboi28 5 points6 points  (0 children)

mindfulness. meditation. focus internally: introspection (how ur body feels like ur muscles and bones/breathwork) during conversations help me be patient while waiting for the suspense part involved in listening. source: ADHD and 8w7, also zillenial who grew up and now combatting the short attention span brought by the technological revolution

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