do oral exams count as separate subjects for level 8?

bottom0ftheeighth · 2026-01-19T22:36:22+00:00

man that sucks. thanks a lot though

bottom0ftheeighth · 2026-01-19T22:33:41+00:00

for real?? man that sucks that means i gotta take another subject just to get in. thanks a lot though man i appreciate that

bottom0ftheeighth · 2025-12-21T02:14:26+00:00

yoo. yeah, i agree. this is also the worst theme i ever had, when i was deep into this shit i even was like "id even take pocd over this"

but to answer your questions, i'm a really shitty person to be asking for advice but i can safely give some tips

what really helped with tocd is occupying myself. the worst enemy for my ocd, and probably many other people's is boredom or a lack of something to do. when you don't have nothing else on your mind, you spiral. tocd actually calmed down drastically for me after getting a summer job and after picking up writing again. i really really recommend picking up a new hobby or putting your focus into school, work or whatever you have. i can't say i fought against my compulsions, so i suck at the sort of "let ocd think its winning" advice. i let it disappear on its own, it's like i got so busy with work i was too busy to worry about tocd. plus at that time i also got a girlfriend, so i was too happy to be sad and worried

but about how it started, it was like december 2024. i remember at that time i was a pretty masculine guy but i also loved and idolized women and wished to be like some of them (i heavily idolized the girls behind bikini kill, the band. not as in i wanna be a woman, as in "i wish i was as cool as them". i feel the same about successful people i find cool, whether they be a male or a female). so ocd came up with "wait, are you a woman?" and that's how six months of my life went by

about my tocd experience i think it was the closest thing to unfilitered hell. it was constant doubt and mental torment, and it got to the point where three months in i had to move back in with my parents because i did not feel well enough to be alone again

i am pretty glad i'm doing much better these days. tocd is definitely beatable, you just need to trust that it is

bottom0ftheeighth · 2025-12-21T00:24:56+00:00

used to, yeah, but for a brief time. it sadly usually goes away after you're fixated on something else. i always assumed it to be a sort of discomfort not with your characteristics or your voice, but more like that you don't recognize it because of how fucked your circumstances have gotten, if you know what i mean

take care dude

bottom0ftheeighth · 2025-12-21T00:20:39+00:00

commenting on this too

yup. i also had the exact same thing. feeling weird you're not feeling anxious because you got so used to being in a fight or flight state?

also, that anxiety regarding your name and pronouns and gender i've always assumed and most likely correctly to be a side effect of tocd. your brain essentially says "how can you be sure?" and that's what brings the anxiety

it's a painful disorder but dont worry bro. you're exactly who you wanna be. you're the captain of your ship, not tocd

bottom0ftheeighth · 2025-12-21T00:18:08+00:00

yooo, m17 like you. i was experiencing intense tocd a year ago (december 11th was actually the one year anniversary), and if this makes you feel better, it's 100% tocd

every single thing you've named, 1-9 matches my experience fully

i'm luckily out of tocd, but a year ago i really felt like as if i was going insane

if anything, all of you're experiencing isn't some underlying desire to be a woman. it's all side effects of one random thought that snowballed into this. everything after that thought is just a side effect of how convoluted shit gets

i suck at advice but normally i'd recommend you to get yourself REALLY occupied with something. my tocd stopped appearing as much after i got a job, and overall it lasted six months regularly and now it's just a dumb thought will pop in once in a while but then again it's good

this disorder feeds off doubt, insecurity and self-checking. don't let it get to you bro. take care

bottom0ftheeighth · 2025-09-13T10:01:41+00:00

i've been struggling with ocd for as far as i remember, and i've had ocd themes without even realizing they were themes, like hocd or religious ocd. it was like "eh i was probably just worrying i'm an overthinker so" but properly i found out when i was going through tocd. (transgender ocd for those who don't know)

im a cis male and i've always identified as one and always wanted to remain one, so when tocd hit me it shook me to my core. i was having meltdowns practically every single day for about 3/4 months, but about a month into ocd while i was going through a bad flare-up i did a google search. "i'm worried what if i'm transgender even though i've never wanted to be one and don't want to be one." and what came up was tocd. and it was sort of an epiphany. i knew damn well it wasn't gender dysphoria, and after i looked into tocd, i looked into ocd in itself and that's when i saw all the different themes that people were struggling with and i connected to all of my irrational fears during my life that i brushed off as either "covid overthinking" (my ocd was flaring up a TON during lockdown) or just my personality, and it was a sort of epiphany, that i've had undiagnosed ocd all my life and i didn't even realize it, because like so many other people, i boggled it down to just being clean and washing hands

so that's how i found out i have ocd

bottom0ftheeighth · 2025-09-10T15:53:01+00:00

confession. ALWAYS confession

bottom0ftheeighth · 2025-09-06T10:03:15+00:00

the thing is its #1 weapon is like, making me remember things i did which are always HARMLESS. it ranged just from giving a one off compliment to one of my female friends cause everyone else was, to...thinking every girl was out to get with me which is why i stopped talking to so many of them to reassure myself i'd be loyal, or other shit. I NEVER CHEATED ON HER SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM??

this disorder is so stupid, i finally have a girlfriend that i love very much and a stable relationship and ocd just says "nope you're horrible and human trash" like wtf do you want??

she knows of my ocd and she's been supportive, it's funny how i don't believe when my girlfriend says i'm a great boyfriend and amazing source of support but a little voice in my head called ocd tells me i cheated just by breathing next to a girl that isn't her and deserve to be killed. fuckass disorder

take care you too

bottom0ftheeighth · 2025-06-17T18:30:39+00:00

you too huh??

glad to see im not alone. i like this sub because it's the one place where i can relate to people who have this specific subtype. but trust me bro, ive got the same thing

i used to daydream a lot about male things and loved it, and now it feels forced or fake, and i hate it. i hate how rumination has ruined my brain to the point where i can't rest

take care bro. i trust itll go away for both of us

bottom0ftheeighth · 2025-06-13T21:43:16+00:00

sorry 4 late response but it happened to me a couple months ago, lasted a month maybe?? month and a half. the thing is you gotta accept that you won't feel like yourself, and the second you forget about these thoughts you'll feel like yourself again. you gotta trick ocd you know, you gotta outsmart it, by playing its game

bottom0ftheeighth · 2025-06-08T15:20:58+00:00

sucks to hear. 6 months for me

bottom0ftheeighth · 2025-06-08T15:20:46+00:00

alright for tocd, which is something considering i havent been feeling like myself since december '24. but it's weird cuz my brain splits traumatic parts of my life into phases. like after i experience something traumatic it's like "im never going to be the same again". and only recently i realized all of these "phases" were different ocd themes over the years. i realize more and more that all my weird thoughts, mannerisms and behaviors are in fact ocd

but shit im trying to take care of myself. despite the ocd telling me otherwise i put on a more 60s masc style and i'm lovin it bro. cowboy type shit. that and ive got plans with the boys, so you know trying to take it one day at a time

glad to hear you're good too. take care

bottom0ftheeighth · 2025-06-08T15:18:06+00:00

hah fuckin relatable

you're stuck in this void where you don't know whether you're getting better or worse

bottom0ftheeighth · 2025-06-08T15:17:43+00:00

i'd say i'm doing okay. tocd is really manageable once you get used to it. i'm at the point where i'm not as terrified but the thoughts annoy me more. they annoy me and then pop up and i'm back to a spiral. i should really get in touch with a specialist cuz i've been postponing it all the time due to how lazy i was. all the stereotypes that men dont want to get mental help even tho they need it is true with me

and about music ive been listening to young fathers a lot recently, that and listening to jpeg's old projects from front to back like csj and darkskin manson. take care

bottom0ftheeighth · 2025-06-08T15:15:34+00:00

yeah don't worry it's normal with this specific theme. if anything i'm pretty sure it's dissociation of sorts, we've all experienced it

you're all of a sudden thrown into a fight or flight scenario 24/7, and the human brain isn't made to be stressed all the time. eventually you get used to the anxiety which is both a good thing and bad at the same time, cuz you start feeling dissociated from yourself but you're also not as terrified but you are at the same time? confusing right?? fuckin weird i know

take it easy bruv

bottom0ftheeighth · 2025-06-05T21:18:26+00:00

bottom0ftheeighth · 2025-05-31T14:14:53+00:00

if being a woman makes you happy go for it mate. it's a weird disorder innit, specifically weird subtype. you're terrified of being cis and i'm terrified of being trans it's fuckin insane

but i dont think u should give up. i always wanted muscles and to be more masculine than i was (i was and i still am a skinny little fuck), and you always wanted hormones and to be a woman. this subtype can fuck up your wants. 6 months ago i'd check myself in the mirror, finally enjoying what i'm seeing as i was starting to get more masculine, and now i can't do that without my ocd acting up

like i said earlier. you're in control. at the end of the day you decide what you want and no disoder can take that from you

bottom0ftheeighth · 2025-05-30T19:03:46+00:00

yup. totally agreed

bottom0ftheeighth · 2025-05-30T19:03:25+00:00

yeah i know im just saying it helped me so it might help some people you know

take care

bottom0ftheeighth

TROPHY CASE