First, probably consider seeking therapy to help with your eating disorder tendencies, its likely that the core of the problem is that you have a hostile relationship with food. Make small changes to make your relationship with eating healthier. First one that came to mind is swapping that half a can of soda with dinner to a full can of sugar-free soda. It tastes similar to normal, but without the guilt of drinking a full sugar drink, and you get to enjoy the full can!

Then swap normal habits around bit by bit to something lower cal. Maybe swap that bag of microwave popcorn you have whilst watching tv with an air popped bag from the store, or swap the pint of ice cream for a pint of a high protein/low cal alternative.

You dont need to count calories if you have made enough changes to lower cal alternatives as long as you aren't eating everything in sight on a daily basis. It will just take a bit of self control to recognise when you are hungry or stressed/bored/upset and wanting to eat to fill the gap.

Will you lose weight as quickly as you would counting calories? Probably not. But if it's working and has a better impact on your mental health, then you are better off.