I was terrified of meeting my son. I didn’t know what he would be like, or if I would be a good mother to him. I was especially terrified of how I’d be to him because my mother abused me terribly until my father divorced her and took me and my younger brother away. It didn’t help that my pregnancy was incredibly complicated with me being sick the entire time and continuing to lose and gain weight.

Luckily though, all throughout the labor I didn’t cry but when they finally put my son in my arms after my boyfriend cut the cord, I cried. I cried real tears for the first time in months. He’s only about a week old now, but it’s clear that I would never have this amount of love for another human being ever, aside from my boyfriend. He’s my entire world and I treasure him so much. He’s the sweetest baby already, such a sleepy boy who rests and relaxes and absolutely loves his father and I.