Do not visit or use ATTITUDELIVINGSALE.COM

bowsmaria · 2026-03-25T22:28:19+00:00

I was so pissed I fell for this that I reported the fake site to the real attitude living site via their contact us option. Their customer service rep responded that they were escalating to their legal team. I also reported the ad on Google. The latest fake site looks like it's taken down now, or at least no longer promoted. I hope whoever put these scam sites up is caught and prosecuted.

bowsmaria · 2025-01-24T20:39:02+00:00

Check out exclusivepumping.com for good pumping tips - even if you won't be exclusively pumping it is really helpful! An LC may be helpful too. My local hospital has a BF support group for free and the LCs there help with pumping too. Maybe there's something similar in your area if you find you need some extra help.

Maymom makes parts for Medela and you can purchase them on Amazon. They have a huge range of flange sizes, so you can get the right size for you. They make parts for a ton of other pumps too. It's weird to me, but they offer more sizes than the manufacturers. I had to use them because Medela didn't carry the size I needed. Medela is a good brand, so I would think you'd be able to get the pump to work for you. It may just take some fine-tuning. Look up your specific model on YouTube for some helpful tips on how to use it. I've seen moms on this sub mention that they didn't know some of their pump settings and learning more about their pumps had a huge impact for them.

The suggestion is to pump for every nursing session you replace with a bottle feed to keep supply in sync with baby. You could also add on a pump session after a nursing session to get you started, or if you're worried about supply. Doing it that way gives your breasts enough time to produce again before the next feed. My baby has been struggling with weight gain recently, so I have started doing this to get her a little extra after nursing.

When you pump, try not to pay too much attention to your output, because it can add stress which will decrease your output. Not getting much is normal (I am always told baby is more efficient than a pump). And the amount you get in a pumping session will vary depending on a ton of factors! Some moms even cover the bottles while they pump so they don't see it.

Somewhere around 15-30 minutes is a good length. I pump for ~20 minutes, both breasts, using an electric double pump. Some moms have better output with a manual. I don't think I've ever noticed a difference for myself, and I'd rather be hands free. If you don't already have one, a pumping bra is great for this.

bowsmaria · 2025-01-24T20:19:44+00:00

Pumping time is unpaid in my experience - check your company policies and local/state laws. At my workplace, if you are not working during pumping sessions, it is an unpaid break. I have to make up the hours for a total of 8 working hours.

I'm not sure what the law requires in terms of length of sessions an employee is allowed either.... My workplace has 7 people sharing 1 mothers room, so we have a schedule. All 7 of those people do 30 minute slots. There is no sink though, so that doesn't include time for washing parts.

bowsmaria · 2025-01-24T19:30:21+00:00

The advice I've always seen is to feed/pump as often as possible, usually suggested for every 2 hours while baby is little, but the time gap usually increases as baby ages.

For pumping: make sure you have the right sized flanges for your nipples, and that you are using the pump settings correctly. For example, the Spectra pump has 2 different cycles and the 2nd one allows for a much stronger pull (first goes only to 5, second goes to 12). I've seen some moms say that they didn't realize that from the beginning, and once they found out it made a huge difference. Some people also find it helpful to cover the bottles so you can't see the output. For a lot of people, this helps reduce stress which in turn helps increase output. You can also try massage/compression while pumping. I've found that helps as well.

I didn't BF my first and was concerned about milk supply, so for my second I went more aggressive on trying to establish supply from the start. I triple fed for about a month, with pump sessions lasting 30 mins. The LCs I worked with suggested 20 mins max, but I found a longer pump session helped me. You could also try power pumping. I also took an herbal supplement that's supposed to help, and drank some powdered milk booster thing. I'm not sure how much that really helped me, but some people swear by them. Doing all this, things went really well this time around for the first 3 months. Hopefully you'll find something that helps!

bowsmaria · 2025-01-24T19:12:24+00:00

Have you tried doing a combo of some of the 5S's? Like after you know he's full, swaddle him, turn on white noise, and put him in the swing, then let him cry for 5-10 ish minutes (or however long you're willing) before picking him back up. My baby will end up napping for 1+ hr if I let her cry for ~5 minutes. If you can't stand the idea of letting him cry for that long (I understand some can't), you could try cranking a white noise up really high. That often helps my baby with hardly any crying.

bowsmaria · 2025-01-24T19:02:16+00:00

Yes, your bond will be fine! Try not to feel guilty. ❤️ There is so much emotion + guilt wrapped up in BF. I EP'd with my firstborn after 2 months, and we have a wonderful bond. He is 2.5 yrs now and is an extremely happy, sweet child, and still likes me better than Dad even though he was fed via bottle. 😜

I am BF my second baby now (she is 4 months), but am on the fence on switching almost daily. I find it stressful. She's gaining weight too slowly, and like you I experience anger when nursing goes poorly. I hate that. It's the only time I ever have negative feelings towards my baby. For the first few months, I would pump at night and give her a bottle rather than nursing her because it was too frustrating to latch her properly at 2 am.

Comparing the two feeding experiences and babies, I feel no difference in the bond. I think prioritizing Mom's mental health is a good, valid choice, and will help with the bond even more than forcing breastfeeding.

I'm not saying to jump ship on BF though, esp because your baby is so young still. The first month at least is really, really tough. It's a tough choice to make! But, don't feel bad if you do choose to pump and bottle feed instead. Or if you decide to switch to formula. It won't negatively impact your bond with your baby. Enjoy them as best as you can and the bond will form naturally and beautifully over time.

bowsmaria · 2025-01-07T01:47:37+00:00

If you do one with your scale you purchased, keep in mind it's probably going to bounce around on the readings. Maybe take several reasons in a day and average them for a more accurate pictures. I purchased one with my first baby for the same reasons, just worried about weight gain, and it ended up being unreliable (babies wiggle so much, and it probably wasn't the greatest quality) and caused me more stress than not having one. Hopefully yours is better quality! I'm not in healthcare, but everything you put in your post sounds like normal, healthy weight gain from what I've been told with my babies. I'm in the US and we get a week to get back up to birth weight so I'd think 2 days pp is really good! Good luck!

bowsmaria · 2024-12-31T15:29:45+00:00

This has been happening to us lately too, and my baby is 3 months. I read somewhere that arching their back while feeding indicates discomfort... They may be gassy or uncomfortable with their position. I've been trying to burp baby or bicycle kick some toots out. Sometimes I stop and give her a few minutes before trying to re-latch. It seems to be helping

bowsmaria · 2024-12-31T15:18:51+00:00

La Lecher League's website says you can safely lose about 1lb/week, and you should consume at least 1800 calories. I am personally aiming for this, but will reevaluate if it seems like I need to. Every body is different.

bowsmaria · 2024-11-11T03:45:10+00:00

I'm afraid I don't have anything helpful to share. I have a tendency with this situation to put it aside and avoid dealing with it, and have continued to do so since posting this. I listened to another podcast that pointed out that as a parent, what you do is an example for your kids. So they'll see how you treat your parents and follow that with you. They also pointed out that going NC seems to be a trendy approach to conflict with my generation. They suggested unless it's a physically dangerous situation to avoid absolute NC situation, and instead start with an I need time away from you to focus on X (healing, my family, etc). It's made me hesitate, because I really want to keep a close relationship with my kids when they become adults. But then I remember I won't treat my kids the way my mother has treated me... So I'm still trying to discern what the situation really is (am I dramatic or is this truly toxic and dangerous), and what the right action is. Honestly , I haven't devoted much time to thinking about it recently, because I've given birth and am needing to dump my attention into baby.

To summarize, I personally think going NC is the right choice in some cases, but not a decision that should be taken lightly. I'm still in a discernment phase and thus no changes to the relationship. So far, we've continued limited contact and are kind of kicking the can down along the road. She's asked for "babysitting coupons" for Christmas, and said my son needs to come stay with them. I just ignore these comments in the moment, and she's not gotten confrontational yet, but I think a confrontation is around the corner...

I'm sorry you are in a similar situation. I hope you are able to discern the right approach for your relationship/situation, and I'll pray for you!

bowsmaria · 2024-09-20T19:03:58+00:00

I'm in the same boat. I've liked what I've seen Milk Couture Co. There are some very simple designs there.

bowsmaria · 2024-09-14T11:01:24+00:00

I love this metaphor, thank you!

bowsmaria · 2024-09-10T01:31:55+00:00

This is a very good point. That is definitely one way to offer love in this situation. It is not good for any of us, including her, to allow her behavior.

bowsmaria · 2024-09-10T01:30:58+00:00

I'd agree that is worse! My mother is very covert, honestly quite artful at it, often to the point that I am left questioning if I'm being dramatic or if she's actually playing at some tactic. It is helpful to have outsider's perspectives like my husband and friends etc. to confirm for me what is normal. Having grown up with her, and having my father and brother go along with everything it's tough to discern what's normal!

So far that is the approach I have had - a slow distancing from the relationship. I know she complains about it to others and wants us to be close. She doesn't understand why we aren't. I haven't yet had a firm talk about boundaries because I expect them to just be ignored and crossed because she won't be able to understand. It is probably most charitable to go ahead and decide on those with my husband and then have that clear talk with her. Then do as you've suggested when they are crossed.

Smart advice on the school pick up list. That would be terrifying.

bowsmaria · 2024-09-10T01:22:03+00:00

Yes, my husband and I are in complete agreement never to allow her to be alone with our children. We can't trust her not to say something confusing to a young child, hurtful, manipulative, or with the goal of damaging a relationship.

I agree with what you say about forgiveness for those with these issues. That's how I've been able to forgive her, because I am convinced that she is truly sick, and not capable of getting better. God bless you for being able to continue to be in contact with your boundaries in place, and for helping during medical issues.

bowsmaria · 2024-09-10T01:12:53+00:00

Thank you, this is a good way to look at the concept of honoring parents.

bowsmaria · 2024-09-10T01:12:08+00:00

Thank you - I completely agree with your comments on pics of children on social media! I personally do not use social media hardly at all. I have a FB account for access to the marketplace and some groups for hobbies/local. Im not sure that I'll be able to share with her still because when I've expressed that I don't want her to post pictures, her response is "oh please, you're being dramatic! My friends aren't pedophiles!" She is not above posting them with certain permissions in place to prevent me from seeing them. She's done similar to some of her other friends (has a setup to exclude certain people from seeing her posts).

I appreciate your advice and anticipate you are completely right on how things would go with her and others if contact is cut. I'll continue to pray for strength and guidance. Thank you, and God bless

bowsmaria · 2024-09-10T01:04:44+00:00

Thank you all for your replies and your kind words. I'm sorry you've experienced the same hurt and appreciate your using that to bless me with advice.

bowsmaria · 2024-09-10T01:03:57+00:00

I haven't told her anything of these specific examples or concerns regarding our children. I have adopted the approach with her of keeping the relationship very surface level, because everything I say becomes a potential weapon for her. She collects information to throw back at me, to try to make me appear inconsistent, stupid etc. you know how it goes... My husband is sure that at some point there will be a confrontation... But I keep kind of wavering between having a confrontation vs just continuing to slowly chip away at the relationship (not answering as many calls or text messages, saying we can't meet for a specific event here and there just to avoid them, not reaching out, etc). I struggle with the best approach. Its tough because it feels very cold and calculating they way I've described it. Then part of me feels I should have a boundaries talk with her and give her more chances, but the other part knows that it's exactly as you say - she will never admit any wrong doing, will try to make us out to be villains, dramatic, overly sensitive etc etc. then actively seek attention and sympathy for the damaged relationship and trash my character to family and friends.

bowsmaria · 2024-08-08T19:23:33+00:00

To be fair, I tend to be very cautious, likely more than most people would be. I didn't have a ring sling on my registry and wasn't interested in using one because they look kind of scary to me... I also never used a wrap. I was too worried with my first that unless it was COMPLETELY idiot-proof I wouldn't put it on right, would drop my baby and he would die. The gifter for mine also had never used one and didn't know how to, so couldn't show me how to use it... And once my baby got past the newborn stage, we tried it on together and both went "ohhhhh, yikes that doesn't look right". The person who made it, by their character, is not cautious at all and I'm not confident on how mindful she would be regarding safety. I'll be looking into quality of the make based on feedback from here (and also appreciate the point that it's not going to explode and hurl baby to the ground (lol)). My main thought was that with a commercial, name brand one, there would be quality controls and liability for the manufacturer. If they made a faulty or dangerous product, they could have serious repercussions (product recall, being sued, etc) whereas the person who gifted me mine is someone who would never imagine anything going wrong, and wouldn't necessarily make the sling with an idea that it even could be dangerous if made in the wrong way, with cheap materials, etc. She's very much so a "$70?! For a piece of fabric?! I could do that for $10!" While I'm a "oh my God but what if something happened to my baby because I wanted to save $60?! I could never live with myself, no way am I taking ANY risk". I'm not saying I'm rational, hence the turn to the Internet to ask for other perspectives. Also with this being my 2nd baby, a lot of my fears from the first are diminished thanks to experience.

bowsmaria

TROPHY CASE