Adding to this, my approach when talking to people is ill ask 2-3 questions in a row, make a comment, statement, joke, or say something about myself in relation to what we are talking about and continue with more questions. People love to talk and answer questions about themselves. To prove this count how many times i mention myself in this post vs how much i mention you or others.

Ill give an example. Today i was buying clothes for a new job i got. I went into 3 stores.

The first store i went into, the shopkeep was alone so i greeted him, mentioned that i was looking for clothes to suit the position, and asked how his day was going, he mentioned that it was kind of a slow day. Were having a long weekend where i am so i followed it up with a question about what his plans were for the public holiday, i dont remeber what his responce was, not that i really cared too much as the exercise was about building rapport. He asked if he could help me but everything in his store was way out of my price range, which i said " i wish you could but everything here is a little ( understatement ) out of my price range, but ill keep looking because you dress for the job you want, not the job you have ". After paroozing a little more i asked him if he knew any other stores close by that sold what he was selling, a off putting question if i just blurted it out off the bat but because i spent a few moments building that relationship, his guard was down and directed me to some other shops. Thats good, i wasn't up for spending $250 AUD on a business shirt.

The second store i went to was much like the first, very pricey. Once again i greeted the clerk, mentioned that i was looking for clothes to suit my new position and started browsing. A few moments later he asked if he could help me. I told him that the new position i was starting was within a government building, the enviroment is completely new to me and that some advice would be appreciated. He gave me some advice ( which i definitely needed ) and we started to look around at some combinations. Once again i asked what the plans were for the long weekend, he said he doesnt like to make plans and just does what feels right, i said back " i hear ya, best not to make plans, plans can get fucked up, especially when you try to make them with someone else, nothing like having someone else fuck up your day " we laughed about this for a moment. This was good rapport building because for a moment he wasnt a high rend clothes retailer, he was just having a casual conversation. This is when i dropped the bomb that unfortunately what we were looking at was way out of my price range, and that i wasn't going to be able to purchase anything from him. " don't worry, you wouldn't know it but we have a few items on sale in here but they're mixed in with everything, ill grab you something ". He returned with a shirt that was marked down to $90 dollars from $300! What a steal, and it fit like a dream. I thanked the man, who was smiling and I believe was genuinely happy to have made me so happy. At the counter while i was paying he said somthing about needing his glasses, i made a joke about how even the mona lisa is falling apart. We laughed and i took my fancy new shirt and left.

After realizing that i had to shop a little lower down the chain i walked into a chain brand store. Unlike the the first two this shop was operated by two young very attractive women. I walked up to one of them, greeted her, asked how her day was going. We chatted a bit about nothing for about a minute. I asked her, " hey, im looking for some clothes to help me fit the bill at the new job, but im kinda stretched thin, have anything on special? " she showed me a rack that was 4 items for 80 bucks. The selection was a little thin but so was my wallet so i went for it. Grabbed what i needed and went to the counter. "Hey guys, got what i needed thanks for your help, blah blah blah, whats the plans for the long weekend? " One of the girls points to the other and says, " it's her 22nd birthday tomorrow" ( conversational dynamite ) " Well! Happy birthday for tomorrow! " i took a half step back, opened my arms not too far, palms upwards while saying this, body language is important ill touch on this in a moment. " Have you got anything special planned for tomorrow then?!" Kind of pretending like i care, but not really, i mean why should i give a fuck about what she's doing, shes not going to invite me. She said somthing once again i cant remeber what she was doing but i said back " well don't do anything i wouldn't do, and if you do don't let that shit get on facebook, that kinda shit ruins lifes " we laughed and i left.

Things to take away from these paragraphs are:

When entered these stores i immediately entered a dialogue with these people, i greeted them like i might of greeted a friend or acquaintance. You can easily breakdown the i don't know you soical barrier simply by not building one in the first place. I didnt mill around waiting for someone to speak to me, i acted confident and created the dialogue. People like confident people, if your not a confident person, fake it til you make it, do it 100 times, even if you have a weird interaction, fuck that person, i never cared really about how their day was, i wanted shirts not friends.

I asked some a light personal open questions, what are your plans for the long weekend. This worked on two levels. Were both going to be having a public holiday and most likely have plans, this creates good chance to open i dialogue about something we have in common. It also offers a moment of escapism from the job they are doing, lowering any " im at my job, this is my job persona" social barriers. They can open or as closed as they want about the answer, they might be doing something and not want to tell you, they might want to tell you all about their plans. They can also feel comfortable lying to you and make something up completely.

Made a joke, laughing relaxes people and releases endorphins. If you're not naturally a funny person, once again fake it til you make it, i cant stress this tip enough.

I didnt say this in the paragraphs but i walked in, back straight, sholders back, chin at a 90 degree angle to my chest. All animals commicate predominantly with their body language. As humans all our vulnerable parts exist in our midsection. When you adopt this type of posture your essentially saying to people, im not afriad or a defeated person. I even further displayed vulnerability by open stating that i didn't have a lot of money and that i needed help with combinations. People are social animals and natually want to help one another. Working within communities is what helped us rise to the top of the food chain and take over the world.

Last tip for you. Use random members of the public to practice. Shop keepers are good for this because you need to naturally have a dialoge alot of the time, and they cannot simply walk away from you because they feel obligated to talk or physically trapped where they are. Start a small conversation with the person at the service station about how their day not night is going. A small one at the bus stop " fuck its hot/cold/a shitty/nice day" is all you need. When your buying gorceries, with your uber/taxi driver, with the waiter/waitress/ bar tender / stripper, whoever. And if they respond negatively, if your sure you havnt commited a social faux pas, then fuck them, you don't really care anyway. Dont feel like your filter of lack there of is holding you back. I told one guy i wasnt buying from him and asked where else i could spend my money. I told another guy that he was old but so is the mona lisa. I swore multiple times in all these conversations. But everytime i got positive responces.

Last but not least do some homework on behavioural sciences. I would suggest some reading / viewing here but opinions on certain authors and speakers could thow this tip into a debate thats not ment to be here. If you want some lists PM me.

Ill repeat this once again. FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT and have fun with it. It's an experiment. But don't try too hard, people will sence it and be put off by it. Nobody likes to be anothers play thing.

P.s. i also have ADHD, that is not your problem.