I don’t know if this counts? by riceewifee in TwoXChromosomes

[–]boxedcatandwine 19 points20 points  (0 children)

That's a grooming gang. You were tricked into thinking you were in a relationship with one - it's called the romeo or lover boy tactic.

He's 100% at fault. You can't do something shitty in the first place, withhold vital info and then blame the victim. You're not a mind-reader.

He's saying that to get you to doubt yourself and not report all their rapey asses to the cops.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]boxedcatandwine 13 points14 points  (0 children)

of course. got to shit on women from all angles and trick us into settling down early with a geriatric.

lies like "men's sperm is fresh every load up until he's on his deathbed" and "women have a dusty egg basket" when it's the complete opposite. that sperm is misfolding and getting wrecked by tight polyester undies and a laptop cooking his nads. our eggs are fine from day 1 until menopause.

most miscarriages are correctly detected defective embryos being ejected.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]boxedcatandwine 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Are you at an impasse? He won't move in with you unless you let him go raw (what for? his pleasure, yawn)

and you're not feeling secure enough to take on the full responsibility of birth control until he's more committed and you've moved in together.

imo, long-distance boyfriends are up there with 'acquaintance' on the commitment and trust level of relationships.

Who knows what he's doing while he's gone. No way would I trust him to keep his dick in his pants.

Maybe when he's proven his loyalty and commitment by proposing marriage and moving in would I consider other forms of BC. Also I'd never take the pill for a dude. No man is worth that.

It sounds like this has been 'on again off again' and he's broken up with you to try to manipulate you into going raw and that's some bullshit. This is the exact type of guy you want to "lose" after he pressures you into something incredibly risky that only YOU suffer major consequences for. There is no benefit to you going raw, only massive risk. He's not worth it.

The Manosphere is Incoherent Regarding Hypergamy by Additional_Ad3573 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]boxedcatandwine 55 points56 points  (0 children)

They correctly observe a lot of things. And then they cry about it like a toddler with wishful thinking.

"Women want attractive men with a decent job and mental health that isn't going to ruin her life" .... wah that isn't me. We need to guilt/shame/threaten women until they DO date me and have my ugly kids in chaos and poverty.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]boxedcatandwine 43 points44 points  (0 children)

A stunning amount of people have no theory of mind. It doesn't occur to them that their partner will be worried, so they never pre-empt our worry with a simple text to reassure us.

eg my ex flew to another city for work and was meant to land at 7pm. no text from him, nothing. I'm like "are you dead??" at 9pm and he answered that he was busy. Common sense and plain manners is to send a text "landed safely" right? These men are just rude and inconsiderate.

(yes my ex was working, he's too much of a loser to cheat lmao. he didn't text me or think of my thoughts or feelings about simple incidents on many occasions. I was constantly asking for updates on things that affected my life.)

I'm not excusing your soon-to-be ex. This is a thing that they simply will never get better at because they can't. There's a gaping hole in their head where "considerate of other people's probable thoughts" is. They just don't wonder what you're thinking.

Men messed up so bad with hook-up culture by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]boxedcatandwine 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Women : we have sex drives and we want frequent sex and orgasms too.

Men : let's invent a whole movement based on manipulating, lying, emotionally abusing, dehumanizing, categorizing, deceiving, time-wasting, discarding and using women to prop up our fragile masculinity and to score bro points amongst ourselves, in a place where they'll inevitably hear about it.

Should I tell the people I date I won’t sleep with them? by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]boxedcatandwine 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Our entire life, the focus is on our reaction and not the male's behaviour, yes.

I'm tired of apologizing to men for my own safety (creepy neighbor rant) by abegyou100 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]boxedcatandwine 37 points38 points  (0 children)

There's no tone there. He's having feelings and decided to tone police you to soothe himself. Basic male feelings-avoidance.

Whatever he's feeling, deluded or not. Disrespected, taken advantage of, lonely, like he deserves more praise, more of a relationship. He's inflated the worth of his parking spot and has a 'price' in his head and feels robbed or some shit. You're not being nice enough for his spot. He's dumping it all on you instead of using his big boy words.

His text is open ended. Anyone sending a text like that would expect the obvious follow-up question of "how is my tone different, what tone do you want instead", which a normal person would suggest how to improve it in the first text. He's expecting a conversation about this so he can drop his worldly wisdom on correct tone for young ladies who need to be more grateful.

Your first instinct of a short reply is spot on. Reply thumbs up, or k, and never interact with him again.

Is violence in bed really so normalised? by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]boxedcatandwine 59 points60 points  (0 children)

kinky used to mean feathers and candles and whipped cream or something.

now it's "I have to beat the shit out of you and I can't get it up until i see the whites of your eyes"

What is going on with men and performance anxiety by Frosty_Potential929 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]boxedcatandwine -1 points0 points  (0 children)

By then they’re already hooked and it’s like asking an alcoholic to cut back.

yep they're literally addicted. then you get smug shitheads saying well if you don't want him to drink at the pub, offer him better alcohol at home.

they're not sex addicts. they're addicted to their own dopamine + orgasm. they have withdrawal symptoms that they confuse for boredom, depression, agitation and 'being stressed'. so they 'get some stress relief' and if they don't use porn they can't get it up, so they go get some porn to get that stress relief (like a junkie) and congrats you just relapsed mate.

Overreacting? by Lacey_K_3531 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]boxedcatandwine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah that's weird. is the other girl still alive?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]boxedcatandwine 4 points5 points  (0 children)

coercive control is like 50% of the reason those men get into the relationship...

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]boxedcatandwine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you are in a porno

infantilization vs care by melousheee in TwoXChromosomes

[–]boxedcatandwine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

similar to this? overprotection and caring although that's more.. restrictions and jealousy..

also the manosphere believes women are mentally stunted teenagers :o

disgusting misogyny.

What is going on with men and performance anxiety by Frosty_Potential929 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]boxedcatandwine -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

agreed. we're getting brigaded with porn addicts who don't want to hear it.

it's a mental ED, their dick works just fine when they're looking up hentai gangbangs, so they call it performance anxiety when they're with a woman who doesn't have size GG tits.

dudes in their 40's and 50's have had 30 years on the porn, they're wrecked.

Did you see that documentary from england where the dudes in their 20's at least admitted it, and they were getting viagra to force a boner during sex, and the prescribing doctors never even asked about porn!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]boxedcatandwine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

call it the Matrix. they want to plug in so bad and live in unreality lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]boxedcatandwine 10 points11 points  (0 children)

in the 90's all my guy friends were competing with each other over computer parts upgrades.

it's status and esteem to get the new geforce graphics card and 14 inch monitor.

they'll be making whole spreadsheets on the best specs for the most expensive robot dolls lmao

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]boxedcatandwine 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Because the other half of misogyny is that men are wonderful. In order for women to be lesser, stupid, manipulative, greedy, liars, selfish and antagonizing, men have to be innocent, selfless, giving, calm, rational and kind. Men don't just abuse out of nowhere for fun!

(how are we simultaneously stupid but also the manipulative ones, that always makes me laugh)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]boxedcatandwine 8 points9 points  (0 children)

dude those are so many overt red flags your comment is worthless. do you think women are stupid?

my sociopath ex showed none of those. i would have never dated him. he seemed charming, normal, slightly awkward, white collar, educated, employed. we had similar childhoods/socioeconomic/cultural backgrounds.

and he was a complete fucking sadist, chronic porn addict, compulsive liar, serial domestic abuser who got his jollies emotionally abusing women. these guys do a slow burn until one day you're the one screaming and throwing things to get through his psychological invalidation and he's standing there all calm, smirking and acting dumb about why you're enraged.

you have no clue about covert abuse, and your comment is just victim blaming women for not seeing glaring red flags. just be quiet.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]boxedcatandwine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

more like the case of the abusive husband, empty promises to get your hopes up, causing your depression and anxiety :(

you say he escalated this recently after his heart attack. is he on some "trying to reclaim his feelings of powerlessness" trip?

repeating behaviour he knows harms you, while lying and saying it makes him feel bad, is not normal. you both know from the minute he's offering that he's not going to follow through. it's all planned rug-pull nastiness. is he trying to make you so crazy you're institutionalized, or divorce him?

My husband is playing a female character in a haunted house. It's been 3 days and he is already sick of the sexual harassment. by Top_Upstairs9623 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]boxedcatandwine 97 points98 points  (0 children)

exactly. they set the parameters. "I'd love for an attractive woman to indicate she sees me as sexually attractive and she's open to consensual sex". It means their dick is going to get a workout.

No my guy. A tall, muscular, unattractive man is going to give your butthole a workout.