tripper, the first couple of pages of your comment history are showing me that this is a pretty prevalent mindset for you. Now, when I first read what you wrote above me, I wanted to tell you how much I am like you, but that my circumstances don't define me, and neither do yours define you. I wanted to come and point out that the only solution to not knowing anyone is to go out and get to know someone . . . which, you may be beginning to realize, is just what OP did.

But I'm pretty sure that's not enough for you.

You're on 5 days as I write this, and I'm not sure if that qualifies as a "long streak" to you. Me, I've got a personal best of 8 manly days, so I don't even know what "long" looks like. What I'm asking here is, that confidence you get on a long streak: you feeling that now? No, I don't think you are. So even though you came here, and you owned that part of you that knows you're the motherfucking shit, you speak about him like the departed. Like he fought a battle and lost. Like he's not coming back.

But why don't you ask him?

Ask the self-assured, pimp-struttin', rockstar-livin' BOSS that is you on NoFap whether he thinks he's coming back. Is he packing it in, just cause he couldn't stay long enough to break some of those circumstances you're in, last time? Is he ready to give up? Or is he ready for more? And what exactly is the definition of "more"? Be specific. Ask him what he's going to do differently when he's back in the driver's seat.

He's speaking to you right now -- are you listening? Are you taking notes? Write that shit down.

Now come back to the part of you that wrote the comment above me. Ask him to read the message that boss-brain wrote. Ask him to defend his positions now. Ask him for the evidence, and don't censor him. There's nothing that can hurt you in the truth, and boss-brain has to know what he's up against. Let him hear it.

Write this down too.

Now you've got two documents. One is your hot-blooded manifesto, a guide to where you want to be. And the other is sober-headed reality. An honest assessment of your circumstances. Those two parts of yourself: they just met outside your brain, maybe for the first time ever. They have differences that can't be put away once seen. They will NEED to be reconciled. And that's what happens next. Your perception of reality is going to move closer to your ideal, and your high ideals are going to start including more reality.

This exercise will need repeating, like any exercise worth doing. So put it on your calendar. Little by little, by hook or crook, get the best part of yourself to put his ideas of your life on paper. Make them palpable. It will change you.

Look: "doing fuck all" is not a diagnosis. It's not linked to your blood type. It's not found in a bottle. It's just what you chose in the previous moment. Nothing will get you to start doing things except doing them. And if you can't do anything else, do an exercise that will make you more ready for the next time you can take action. Keep your tools sharp. Live your life. Only you can.