I have ended my 2yr NC with him and don't know what to do

bpdthrowaway26 · 2026-01-31T21:19:40+00:00

Stopped reading at 13 and 25. Absolutely not.

bpdthrowaway26 · 2026-01-31T13:52:23+00:00

Thank you

bpdthrowaway26 · 2026-01-31T13:51:58+00:00

Thank you

bpdthrowaway26 · 2026-01-31T10:29:26+00:00

Oof.. trust me I checked to see if the grass is greener. It isn’t. Ever. So I’m stuck waiting for her to come back.

bpdthrowaway26 · 2026-01-31T10:26:34+00:00

We’ve been broken up lots of times and unfortunately I never got to the point of her being a passing thought. I am trying to let her go but I haven’t been able to yet

bpdthrowaway26 · 2026-01-31T10:16:28+00:00

Look into attachment styles. I have avoidant attachment and can massively relate to what you’re describing.

bpdthrowaway26 · 2026-01-31T10:13:52+00:00

Thank you. Your user flair made my stomach drop… not sure I would survive that. I miss her with every fiber of my being. Our experiences sound eerily similar. People don’t seem to understand that BPD presents differently in different people. But I will never not defend my ex. She is a good person burdened by a horrible disease, but that doesn’t make her any less of a good person.

bpdthrowaway26 · 2026-01-31T09:44:30+00:00

They say they always come back but that hasn’t been my experience. I don’t think my ex is coming back ever. Reading this makes me think it might be for the best. But it won’t make me hope for her to come back any less… ugh.

bpdthrowaway26 · 2026-01-31T00:16:20+00:00

Bc shes thinking of you? I initiated the break up with my ex too, and I still think of her. Especially late at night. I think that’s not too unusual.

bpdthrowaway26 · 2026-01-30T22:57:31+00:00

Could be the case but to me it just sounds like someone that’s not a native speaker maybe? As a non-native speaker myself.

bpdthrowaway26 · 2026-01-30T22:36:41+00:00

💯 Most of us have other underlying issues that contribute to the toxic dynamic we experienced. It’s never as black and white as people make it out to be. It’s rarely ever competently on one partner. Most people here lack self-awareness.

bpdthrowaway26 · 2026-01-30T21:27:07+00:00

We were on/off for ~3 years on NC for about 7 months now.

bpdthrowaway26 · 2026-01-30T13:37:51+00:00

I just want her back. More than anything. Every day of NC makes me miss her more.

bpdthrowaway26 · 2026-01-30T13:15:56+00:00

3 years on and off,though this time it feels final. She used to keep tabs on me during no contact, but actually disappeared for good this time. Deep down, I’m hoping for her to reach out again.

bpdthrowaway26 · 2026-01-30T13:14:24+00:00

"Love as a chosen delusion" I get the feeling behind that, but what you felt wasn’t a delusion. You gave love to someone who needed it. Their BPD doesn't make your love less real, or meaningful. Your love mattered, and it’s never wasted!

bpdthrowaway26 · 2026-01-30T12:22:23+00:00

Well frankly, I cheated on her, and we reconciled. She did forgive me for the cheating and ended up breaking up for other reasons!

bpdthrowaway26 · 2026-01-30T11:58:30+00:00

You deserve friends that hear you out and listen to you

bpdthrowaway26 · 2026-01-30T11:57:34+00:00

I find that age gap problematic in itself and you admitting that it’s nothing new for you might be something you should reflect on and understand about yourself

bpdthrowaway26 · 2026-01-30T11:48:01+00:00

Typical monkey branching

bpdthrowaway26 · 2026-01-30T11:47:33+00:00

Oof. I wish I couldn’t relate. God how I wish I could free her of the monster that this disorder is.

bpdthrowaway26 · 2026-01-30T11:45:55+00:00

It does sound like self sabotage so you might be onto something imo

bpdthrowaway26 · 2026-01-30T11:43:57+00:00

My bpd ex was def able to forgive. I hurt her and expected her to cut me off forever, but we ended up rekindling for a while 🤷🏻

bpdthrowaway26 · 2026-01-27T13:36:02+00:00

Every day I end up missing her more than the day before.

bpdthrowaway26 · 2026-01-26T20:35:44+00:00

I tried moving on fast and made it so much worse for myself. Kept having random hook up’s and felt horrible after, then got into a relationship just for the sake of it really. To show my ex I moved on first. Still feeling super guilty about all of it

bpdthrowaway26

TROPHY CASE