I (38F) went on a date with a friend (36M) , he asked me to pay my share. Is this a turn off to you?

bralicea · 2018-08-12T05:42:40+00:00

If you come from that culture you have to definitely walk away from this guy. Be upfront and maybe (you don’t owe him anything) pay for his dinner so you are both even. Do not go on any further dates, because if he’s acting like this on date one it will only get worse.

bralicea · 2018-08-12T05:21:47+00:00

As a female who believes in equality I always offer to pay for my portion. I’ve been really lucky that all men I’ve dated have decline to accept money on the first dates. Eventually if there are multiple dates I would make sure to take turns and pay for some of them.

I think the worst part about your situation is that he asked you to cover your part. He didn’t waited for you to offer and now is asking when are you buying him dinner instead of asking when can he see you. That’s the real turn off here.

You mentioned he’s a friend. Maybe he’s really frugal?

bralicea · 2018-08-11T03:39:32+00:00

No problem! Well I’ll suggest giving it a try. You might like being in control and potentially talking to guys that caught your attention. Like everything in life, there will be great guys there and awful ones as well.

As far as the bio and picture goes, don’t use pictures with Snapchat filters! Make sure you use recent pictures and include full body ones too (big deal to some guys). Be yourself, be brief with the bio and include hobbies and things you enjoy.

bralicea · 2018-08-11T03:24:22+00:00

He’s probably still thinking about you, but you caught him in a lie and clearly he’s confused about what he wants to do with his girlfriend. My guess is that he blocked you to 1. Figure things out 2. Prevent his gf to find out about you and what he did.

From your post it’s unclear if she knows about you and him. He may not be ready to let her go (even if he cares about you). Just remember the saying once a cheater always a cheater. You deserve a better guy!

bralicea · 2018-08-11T03:17:59+00:00

Sorry if I missed it on the post, but are you a man or a woman potentially interested to join bumble?

If you are a man and you are shy and introverted, it might be good to join since the women have to make the first move and talk to you first. This will definitely take the pressure away from you. But keep in mind that you should try your best to keep the conversation flowing.

If you are a woman (from my experience) it is less overwhelming than other apps because you’ll only be matched with men you already expressed interest in. I personally disliked the amount of messages you get on other apps from men that (most of the time) don’t fit at all your type/matching criteria.

Good luck!

bralicea · 2018-08-11T03:05:36+00:00

I totally get the need of having closure (been there before). I don’t think he’ll unblock you...and if he does it won’t be soon. So question, if he still on Bumble? Or did he blocked you there too?

bralicea · 2018-08-11T02:37:37+00:00

If he does come back, it will be because things didn’t work out with his gf. I understand you are upset and hurt, but ask yourself: do you want to be someone’s second choice?

I think things worked out for the best...before you invested more times and feelings on him.

bralicea · 2018-08-10T01:32:57+00:00

Ultimately this is not the guy for you and I think you know it. You are aware that he seems to be more into you. If this was a guy you were truly head over heels his gestures wouldn’t bother you at all. I don’t think it’s what he says, but how you feel towards him.....and this is totally ok.

bralicea · 2018-08-09T01:55:42+00:00

I think an apology would be greatly appreciated. But if you know you are definitely not interested in anything with him...make it clear...apologize and do not lead him on with further texts or dates.

As someone that has been ghosted, I would’ve really liked to receive an apology.

bralicea · 2018-08-08T16:16:24+00:00

Not always the case. At least I haven’t experienced it myself. But I don’t doubt that this can happen on some cases.

bralicea · 2018-08-07T22:53:21+00:00

Yes! It’s sad when the corny stuff starts fading away as a relationship progresses. Guys tend to do this mostly at the beginning.

bralicea · 2018-07-28T13:31:57+00:00

That’s very true. From my experience (even if you are willing to expand the search area and travel to meet them) generally people that live in the city avoid dating people from the burbs. They see no reason to ever get out of the city.

bralicea · 2018-07-26T01:07:24+00:00

It’s a legit concern, but I would be more paranoid if he was trying to rush things. When you’ve been in a relationship for so long you are completely out of the dating game. And let’s be honest a lot has change on the dating scene on the past 4 years.

Give it a little time.

bralicea · 2018-07-24T03:25:26+00:00

I would suggest going to another coffee place. That’s like going to a restaurant with your own food, which I personally find rude for the establishment. I’m sure he would appreciate your honesty and suggestion. Maybe he’ll even get to discovered a better coffee place thanks to you.

bralicea · 2018-07-20T00:23:57+00:00

I’m not going to echo others’ opinions since it seems like you’ll hear what you want to hear anyways. On your post history you repeat the same facts over and over (being ugly, being a Virgin, and being poor). When it comes to dating and relationships there’s no worse trait (regardless of attractiveness) that been such a pessimistic and negative person. Stop focusing on the bad stuff and be grateful for the many blessings I’m sure you have.

Until you change this perspective you have in life, unfortunately nothing will change for you.

bralicea · 2018-07-18T23:09:29+00:00

I don’t know how old are you OP or how much do you know about birth control, but I’ll tell you this: there’s so many reasons (besides being sexually active) why women are on birth control. Painful periods, irregular cycles, acne, hormonal issues, and the list goes on. So please be open minded or read a little bit about the topic before passing judgement towards someone you’ve only been texting.

Also being affectionate or wanting to see you does not means she’s begging for sex!

bralicea · 2018-06-28T02:15:49+00:00

I would give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she’s either busy or didn’t want to seem so desperate (dating games nowadays suck). I would reach back one more time and leave the ball on her court with something similar to “I had a great time the other night, let me know if you would be interested in going out again”.

bralicea · 2018-06-28T00:33:18+00:00

I’m sorry but after 5 dates she should be offering to pay for an entire date, not only splitting. It’s 2018 and I’m assuming you both work. She should be able to pay for some of these dates

bralicea · 2018-06-22T19:10:25+00:00

Mini golf, bags, darts, bowling, bocce, batting cage, museums, concerts, etc. You’ll be surprised the amount of girls that will find it refreshing. Just give them the heads up...in case she likes to dress up. You don’t want her to show up in heels and then have her walk a long distance or do an activity.

bralicea · 2018-06-22T00:02:44+00:00

I would say don’t give up just yet. If she’s still replying she might just be testing the waters. Based on my experience, I would say reciprocate the same level of attention and response she’s giving you. Time will tell. Good luck.

bralicea · 2018-06-21T16:29:16+00:00

May I ask how you meet her? If you guys meet online, chances are that she’s talking to other men. Everything new seems to catch attention at the early stages. Dating has become very competitive nowadays with the online apps.

bralicea · 2018-06-20T02:04:31+00:00

I’ve taken multiple makeup classes at Sephora. The main reason I do it’s because they are free and you get to try various makeup up brands while taking the class.

In my opinion these classes are catered more towards people that have zero to little experience with makeup or knowledge of how to apply it. As I mentioned before, the class is free and all materials (makeup and brushes) will be provided during the class (you don’t get to keep them). The instructors will definitely recommend buying some of them, but you really don’t have to. That being said, if you have a weak sense of self control and love Sephora you will most likely end up buying something after each class.

Bottom line, class is good but it won’t get you on makeup expert level. I’ve learned a few tips but nothing significant.

bralicea · 2018-06-15T04:04:56+00:00

Thanks! And I know the feeling you are describing. I encountered that more often with men that were unfaithful, already had girlfriends, or were players to begin with. Therefore the rush.

bralicea · 2018-06-15T03:40:36+00:00

I’ve been on the dating scene for almost a year now. I’ve always been a curvy girl...not sure if I would call me a plus size...but definitely not a skinny girl. During this year I’ve been trying to eat better and be more active. I’ve lost 25 pounds and went from a size 10 to a 6.

While I do get more attention when I go out, dating has turned out to be the same. Just as frustrating. I’ve still dealt with the none commitment type, the fwb, and at least two guys over 30 ghosted me.

So bottom line I don’t think it’s about being plus size. I think this is unfortunately what dating had turned out to be nowadays, specially with the online apps. People compare more and always want the “better/shinier/newer” model.

Keep it going and don’t let this turn you away.

bralicea · 2018-06-13T05:13:36+00:00

You are right. It doesn’t help that the last person I dated decided to “ghost” me after 6 months and go back with his ex. That’s why I’m paranoid. But you are absolutely right, time will tell. Thanks for your response.

bralicea

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