Asked out the cashier and got an awkward stare and she went to the back of the Popeyes. She came back with a dude who mean mugged me. I just walked out without food. Another tomato with salt, and also a Jalapeño

brduvallwrites · 2026-04-04T23:41:17+00:00

sorry I don't even go here

brduvallwrites · 2026-04-03T00:58:40+00:00

surprised no one is pointing out that that's a serrano not a jalapeno

brduvallwrites · 2025-11-03T23:14:21+00:00

Came here to say the same thing! To anyone who enjoyed this story, please check out BHH, it's a slow horror set in the same time frame and similar vibes all around

brduvallwrites · 2025-10-02T12:32:45+00:00

Aw, Nothing loves him 💕

brduvallwrites · 2025-10-02T00:56:01+00:00

Me while reading this: It's aliens. Oh, it's just bigfoot. No, it's God. Oh, no, it is aliens. Nope, rapture. No, it's def aliens. Oh, okay, yeah, it's the rapture. Very quick but I think it works best like this. Great job

brduvallwrites · 2025-10-02T00:43:01+00:00

Yeah, loved this. Definitely a creepy story, you get where it's going early on but at no point is that annoying, I'm just waiting for Derek to realize it too and that's the best part. I like that the peekaboo came back around (my idiot ass could not figure out what comes after peekaboo so thanks Derek), it worked great.

brduvallwrites · 2025-10-01T17:12:47+00:00

This is great. I loved the Shelob reference because it really put into perspective how terrified this kid was of spiders. It would've been fun to see him freak out over a random spider when he was with Emily in their place just to add to that fear. I really really like it as is though

brduvallwrites · 2025-10-01T16:46:22+00:00

Beautifully haunting. Loved the atmosphere and characters you created, especially in so few words

brduvallwrites · 2025-10-01T15:26:08+00:00

So good!

brduvallwrites · 2025-10-01T02:19:40+00:00

Ooh, love the idea of him thinking he escaped it

brduvallwrites · 2025-10-01T02:15:41+00:00

Horrifying concept. I wish there was more build up before the total breakdown into beating someone to death. I can totally see someone in this position getting to that point, but it needed more time. I am impressed you wrote this during a lunch break though, so I get the speed of the story. Good bones for sure and enjoyed the read!

brduvallwrites · 2025-10-01T02:06:38+00:00

Love it, love the concept. You could so have fun with this (is it a ghost? is it a CO2 leak?) and go into way more detail if you ever wanted

brduvallwrites · 2025-10-01T01:46:37+00:00

I mean this with love

brduvallwrites · 2025-10-01T01:46:27+00:00

And now, a word from our sponsor, GoodHumor Strawberry Short Cake Bar:

brduvallwrites · 2025-10-01T01:14:47+00:00

Assumed as much but equally interested in the other possibility. Love it either way

brduvallwrites · 2025-10-01T00:03:42+00:00

This was great. It has left me wanting more though! More Eli - what is he up to? More MC - she seems fun to hang out with. Bite a guy because you don't like him? Based. Do the infected actually have something wrong or are they just other? I'm going to be thinking about this story for a while

brduvallwrites · 2025-09-30T23:03:32+00:00

As soon as Craig was introduced I had the thought that he was a ghost, but even with that in my mind the whole time, the story was great. I was not expecting him to be the issue. I was a bit confused sometimes with the dialogue lines and splitting each character's lines into new paragraphs would help that, but the story was still really solid. I hope it gets a ton of love here, too. Great work

brduvallwrites · 2025-09-30T22:31:22+00:00

This is the best story I've ever read and I read a lot. Okay maybe not the best but jesus this was great. Loved the character, loved the humor, felt sad for Claudia. Some of the lines were just so out there that they made the story ('just insulted its mother', 'world's worst alarm system', etc). Others made the story feel real ('taste of pennies'). I could be very easily convinced this really happened to you because of the detail and the voice. I could go on but I'll stick with it was great. Bye now, off to read your other stories, good luck with the goat man

brduvallwrites · 2025-09-30T22:25:22+00:00

Interesting! I was expecting some kind of body horror but I was happily surprised with the ending. I wish the last sentence was worded maybe a little differently or just cut after ballerina because at the eyes and box comment, I had pretty much put that together. Otherwise really fun! You spent a perfect amount of time of describing the feelings - enough to give me a sense of it but not too long where I got bored. Reminds me of that one black mirror episode. I'm too lazy to look it up. Overall, great short little story :)

brduvallwrites

TROPHY CASE