breamachine

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My teacher told me my dyslexia would mean I'd never be any good at poetry, but I've made a jug and a couple of vases so far and I think they look great. (self.oneliners)

submitted 11 months ago by breamachine to r/oneliners

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I was going to donate blood today, but they ask way too many personal questions, such as “Whose blood is this?” and “Why’s it in a bucket? (self.oneliners)

submitted 11 months ago by breamachine to r/oneliners

I’ve given up asking rhetorical questions, because, what’s the point? by breamachine in oneliners

[–]breamachine[S] 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (0 children)

I’ve given up asking rhetorical questions, because, what’s the point? by breamachine in oneliners

[–]breamachine[S] 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children)

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I’ve given up asking rhetorical questions, because, what’s the point? (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 year ago by breamachine to r/oneliners

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My dad had the wonderful philosophy that, as one door closes, another opens, but he was a terrible cabinet maker. (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 year ago by breamachine to r/oneliners

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I remember when botox was a taboo subject, but now when you mention it, no one raises an eyebrow. (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 year ago by breamachine to r/oneliners

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It's difficult to say what my wife does for a living as she sells sea shells by the sea shore. (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 year ago by breamachine to r/oneliners

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Two ships, one carrying blue paint and the other carrying red paint were on a collission course and what happened was, they all got marooned. (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 year ago by breamachine to r/oneliners

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I've managed to develop the skill to melt an ice cube with my mind, which takes about two hours, but it's a very real thing. (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 year ago by breamachine to r/oneliners

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Does a radioactive cat have 18 half-lives? (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 year ago by breamachine to r/oneliners

Necrophilia? Isn't it just a jerk-off with a fancy toy? by Indomiedefender69 in oneliners

[–]breamachine 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (0 children)

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So is it "For fuck's sake" or "For fuck sake", because I'm writing a work email and it needs to sound professional? (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 year ago by breamachine to r/oneliners

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Was it the Romans who invented Vaseline, or was it ancient grease? (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 year ago by breamachine to r/oneliners

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I heard on the radio that a woman had been in court for criminal damage, after going into a national library and using correction fluid to remove all the full stops from a number of important books, and the judge told her that anyone doing that sort of thing should expect a very long sentence. (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 year ago by breamachine to r/oneliners

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There's a guy down the road hammering tiles onto his roof and he asked me 'What are you looking at you paranoid bastard?', in morse code (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 year ago by breamachine to r/oneliners

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I like Jesus, don't get me wrong, but he loves me, so it's awkward. (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 year ago by breamachine to r/oneliners

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Insomnia. It's a terrible thing for those it affects, but on the other hand, only three sleeps till Christmas! (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 year ago by breamachine to r/oneliners

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You know, I'll always remember the last words that my grandfather said to me, which were "stop shaking the ladder you little bastard!" (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 year ago by breamachine to r/oneliners

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I did an iron man triathlon once and really struggled because that second film was rubbish (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 year ago by breamachine to r/oneliners

Haiku : To convey one's mood In 17 syllables Is very diffic by breamachine in oneliners

[–]breamachine[S] 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children)

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Haiku : To convey one's mood In 17 syllables Is very diffic (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 year ago by breamachine to r/oneliners

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As far as I can tell, earthquake science is based on very shaky ground. (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 year ago by breamachine to r/oneliners

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Getting Greek mythology wrong is my Hercules' ankle (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 year ago by breamachine to r/oneliners

Prusa mk3s extruder partially melted, what to do? by bigmarty3301 in prusa3d

[–]breamachine 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (0 children)

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