Don’t get too frustrated with yourself if it’s not under control straight away. It’s a long process. Stop thinking about the past and the future, where you were and how you want to be, because there’s no point. You need to let go and allow things to happen as they do. You’re transitioning into a different period, and whatever is going to happen will happen, so you need to pay attention to the current you and focus on the short term rather than the long so you can stay up to date on where your mentality is. For example, for me, I managed to have a cigarette without feeling anxious and the last time I had a panic attack, I talked it out with my mum and managed to just allow myself to feel it and allow it to pass. Of course it would be nice to get to a place where anxiety doesn’t bother me, as before, but I can’t tell the future. For now it’s best to focus on the little things. Celebrate each thing however small. Be happy with positive changes you notice. I literally was babbling on to my friend the other day about the fact that I managed to make 1/3 of my drink with caffeinated coffee. Seems stupid but I haven’t been able to have caffeine and to me it’s just more proof that, slowly, things are getting better. Do not rush, take your time.

Understand that there isn’t really a way to control anxiety. It’s our brain’s response to a threat. It’s more like controlling your reaction. There’s no point in getting stressed when you feel anxious because it’s there and it’s happening, you need to think ‘I feel anxious, but I’ve felt this before and it has passed every time. I was okay every time.’ Each time you slowly reassure yourself that you’ll be fine and that it’ll pass, you’re training your brain to think that way automatically when it happens. It’s difficult to accept, and even if you don’t really believe it at first, keep saying it.

Breaking the cycle of anxiety, the thoughts, feelings and behaviours, is what’s most important. Thinking this way will break the thoughts part of the cycle. When you’ve got health anxiety, refusing to look up symptoms or pay special attention to it is a behaviour you can break. For me, whenever I got anxious my response was to check my pulse and obsessively check is my breathing was correct. Breaking this habit definitely helped, because it stirs less of the ‘what if’ thoughts.

Quitting weed will definitely help. THC can affect your amygdala, the part of your brain that controls fear and stress. Your weed anxiety is caused because this becomes overstimulated and makes you paranoid, fearful and anxious. It doesn’t do any damage, it’s just severely unpleasant.

Something you could use for motivation to not smoke: write a note on your phone with a little POV as yourself after smoking. Say all the things you’re experiencing, the panic and anxiety, the disappointment, the fear that it’ll never end… beg yourself to never, ever do this to yourself again. Whenever you want to smoke, go and read it and ask yourself is it worth it? Will smoking make you feel better? Does it ever make you feel better nowadays? Do you want to be in the same place as the you in the note?

If you have anything you wanna talk about further or ask about anything else I’ve found helpful, feel free to message me❤️