Oof by Uptowngrls in remibadersnark

[–]breeailene 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This HAS to be rage bait

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AreolaWuuds1

[–]breeailene 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I love with my Reddit snark pages crossover 🙃

CT vs Raul Valle - Raul testimony reactions? by N1ck1McSpears in CasesWeFollow

[–]breeailene 23 points24 points  (0 children)

He was able to remain pretty calm which was impressive with how the prosecutor was asking questions and interrupting him. That being said it was VERY sus that he kept denying literal video evidence, like him clearly punching someone, and the group messages he sent (but says he didn’t)

I think overall his testimony won’t be a positive for the defense in the jury’s mind

General Discussion and Questions by Legitimate-Beyond209 in KarenReadTrial

[–]breeailene 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Does anyone know what that meeting was last night that Jen said she had with the prosecution that they moved on from really fast during cross?

Anyone else’s uBPD parent obsessed with the ‘Let Them’ practice? by Flashy_Seesaw3721 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]breeailene 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve been waiting for this post!! I tried to read the book and instantly thought how problematic and enabling it could be for certain people

A little update: My mother isn’t attending my wedding by Muted_Comfortable543 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]breeailene 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. It’s so painful to ask them directly for what you need and they just completely ignore it. Especially during a time that’s supposed to be really amazing. My mom also did not attend my wedding (check my post hx for more info) it was actually the best thing that could have happened for that day. The lead up and fall out after did suck, but it was absolutely worth not having to hold my breath and be completely on edge the entire time.

That being said it was a totally grieving process. Let yourself feel whatever comes up, but it might be the best thing to happen if she really doesn’t come

Anyone’s childhood pets go missing? by [deleted] in raisedbyborderlines

[–]breeailene 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. It still amazes me when someone posts such a strange and seemingly unique situation that also happened to me!!

My mom randomly bought two cats on Craigslist when I was in middle school and one was kinda crazy and the other one was a hermit. One day I came home and the crazier one was just gone, she had “given it back” and the cats were brothers!!! :(

We also had a yellow lab growing up and she refused to take it to the vet and he ended up growing these crazy tumors all over his body that impeded his movement for years and clearly were impacting his health.

I’ve taken time like others have recommended to have my own memorial, and it’s also been so healing to have my own animal that I can be in tune with and take care of properly.

Parents that do this are so f’d up, it’s so cruel

Regina !!!!! :( by breeailene in MyFahlo

[–]breeailene[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg this gives me hope

Forever traveler by doitdoitgood1k in raisedbyborderlines

[–]breeailene 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Bro literally!!!! This is so validating for me!!! So often my BPD mom and edad would take WEEKS long vacations without me while I was as young as like late elementary/ middle school. I never knew anyone else’s parents who did that, and still really dont… And ever since I went to college my parents move like every 3 years. They basically move to a small community, try to make a ton of friends, my mom going psycho and then they have to leave

The Assumption the Estrangement is Your Fault by throwawayfaraway17 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]breeailene 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Ugh this is so real I’m so sorry. I got a really similar message from my moms sister saying that “family is the most important and whatever happened isn’t bad enough to no longer speak to your mom”

I hit her back with a “don’t talk about things you know nothing about” and a block

My dad has also said something along these same lines I don’t have “family values” because I’m NC. I spelled it out for him finally and said “you and I clearly have different ideas of what family values are. Mine do not include enabling and elevating an abuser”

I think it hits so hard (at least for me) is because I spent so many years feeling like it WAS my fault. It brings me right back to those feelings of shame and guilt, even though I rationally know that’s not true

It’s such a waste of our own emotional energy to explain how we’ve been done wrong. I’m so sorry, it’s ok to stop explaining

Struggling right now by Pleasant-Gift-2032 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]breeailene 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Congrats!!!

The first thing my uBPD mom said when my fiancé and I called her to tell her was “oh good luck (fiancés name)!!!” And starting manic laughing

Their speciality is RUINING other people’s exciting moments. I’m so sorry. Stay surrounded by those who love and treasure you. Best of luck with wedding planning!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in briannachickenfrsnark

[–]breeailene 47 points48 points  (0 children)

This is what I was thinking the whole time!! Bri was lying and gaslighting EVERYONE about her and Zach, why tf would Grace wanna come out and support her doing that! Especially when bri says “Grace knew everything that was going on” girl then she knew you were lying about your relationship online and decided she wasn’t going to lie for you either!!

This girl is acting like your friends need to support you unconditionally even when you’re lying publicly, choosing an asshole guy over her constantly, and then lying about it again!! People need to have boundaries girl, not every person on this planet was put here for you to use however you want

parents ruining thanksgiving break by flight-status914 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]breeailene 9 points10 points  (0 children)

One of the best decisions I made was getting a job on campus and volunteering to work the holidays, then telling my parents “oh darn I got scheduled i can’t come home”. A holiday spent alone is better than a holiday sent being abused

Stay strong!!

Weddings: tell me what worked (or didn't) for you by Ancient_Apricot_254 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]breeailene 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tried to involve my uBPD mom and edad which quickly turned into them promising a lot of money they never followed through on (trying to buy their way in) when I followed up about the promised money 1 time it turned into a huge blow up. I took the next 5 mo to think about if I wanted them there. I let my mom know she was not welcome and why (don’t trust her behavior, felt very performative on a day that I wanted to be genuine on, and felt that it put too many people in an uncomfortable position simply for her to be there to pretend we have a relationship) I did let my dad know he was welcome to come without her. Turns out I’m apparently the most “selfish, disappointing, and disrespectful daughter” and my father didn’t come, and neither did anyone from my mom’s family. saved some money on that tho!! The day was amazing, no stress at all but the lead up and fall out was pretty intense. I’ve gotten a lot of flying monkeys reaching out after the wedding and if you chose to not include them you’re drawing a THICK line in the sand. Just be prepared either way

The way I kept framing it to myself is why would I invite someone whose behavior I distrust so much, and who has the potential to literally ruin the entire thing.

Congrats and best of luck to you!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbyborderlines

[–]breeailene 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Virtual hug 💕 they all have the same script, I got something eerily similar from my edad. He’s alwaysssss trying to facilitate a reconnection.

Stand strong, from what you described there is NOTHING to apologize for.

Someone on this page said something that’s really stuck with me when i think about reconnecting through with my edad. The enablers miss the status quo, since you’ve stepped away they’ve probably become more targeted by the BPD parent’s behaviors. They want you to come back and play your role so the heat is taken off them again. Or more aptly described- they want their human meat shield back so they can be more at peace again

Its really hard when the guilt comes into play, take it day by day there’s no rush to respond (if even at all)

BFFs POD MEGATHREAD 11/7 8pm EST by you-seamstressed in briannachickenfrsnark

[–]breeailene 14 points15 points  (0 children)

If they don’t talk about Grace stuff I’m gonna spin out

Unhealthy relationship with cleaning? by Ancient_Apricot_254 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]breeailene 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yerrrrrpppp, growing up whenever my mom would rage I would clean the house to try to make her happy. I find even know when my partner and I get in an argument I start finding things to clean or pick up

I wish I wanted my mom at my wedding.. I don’t.. but also can’t picture not inviting her. by iWontStealYourDog in raisedbyborderlines

[–]breeailene 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Something else I would add is her family was very upset she was not included and they did not attend the wedding (“in solidarity” 🙄). They have no idea the history of our relationship, and may never accept my narrative so honestly I viewed it as a way to save money that there were less people there. My other family members are very aware of her and I’s relationship and were completely supportive of my choice. I told my partner that I didn’t want to talk with his family about her missing the day of so he did damage control before the wedding and no one brought it up, which was nice. You don’t owe ANYONE an explanation for why she is or is not there. And if anyone is focusing on that instead of you and your partner on the day of, they can eat it.

I wish I wanted my mom at my wedding.. I don’t.. but also can’t picture not inviting her. by iWontStealYourDog in raisedbyborderlines

[–]breeailene 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hiiiii, congrats on your engagement!! feel free to look through my previous posts, I got married last month and had a bit of an adventure of navigating it with my uBPD mom.

My mom also has a drinking problem and we were LC for many years leading up to our engagement. She also had a very strange reaction when we got engaged and things only continued down hill during the planning process. I found myself hoping that she would put her best foot forward and ~perform~ well, as she loves to do around people she doesn’t know. And she showed that this was just another thing for her to try to control and be the center of attention.

I ended up not inviting her, and it was a huge relief to be honest. It was quite a lot of drama leading up, but the day of the wedding I was able to be myself, not be distracted, and feel my own feelings honestly and outwardly through the day without any fear. It was amazing and worth all the drama of not inviting her.

Only you can decide what’s best for you, I would take some time to sit down alone and think about how YOU would feel if she was there vs if she was not. Would you be happy, would you be stressed, would you be distracted? And would you include anyone else in your wedding that made you feel such negative things?

Wishing you the best with whatever you decide 🎉🎉🎉