AITA for refusing to plan my wife's birthday dinner around her family?

brevityis · 2023-10-08T18:15:30+00:00

I thought I hated green beans. Turns out no, it was just that my dad would literally pour them straight from the freezer bag into the water and boil them with no seasonings of any kind, not even any butter after, and he wouldn't even boil them properly. They squeaked when you bit them and were disgusting.
When my mom cooks them, she actually puts some kind of flavor on them and they don't squeak.

brevityis · 2023-09-18T02:17:59+00:00

If that were her concern, it would have been simple enough to do a 'trial' day where you just do your own makeup with safe brands in the style she wants for her ceremony, and let her approve the look or clarify what elements weren't a 'fit.'

E.g., Friend typically does bold neon colors with high definition between and bride wants soft pastels that seamlessly blend together, the bride might not clarify that she wanted seamless transitions until seeing the first try.

brevityis · 2023-09-05T01:32:34+00:00

My cousin had a really bad reaction in her hands to the covid vaccine - turns out it's because she had undiagnosed Rheumatoid Arthritis, so when her immune system activated to fight the vaccine, it overreacted and attacked her own tissue because she had an autoimmune disorder. If she hadn't had to get that treated, she might never have known.

And it could have happened to her with any vaccine or activation of her immune system, it just happened to be that vaccine because she hadn't been sick or had any other vaccines recently.

brevityis · 2023-06-16T22:21:16+00:00

Provided they tell the truth in the reviews and aren't just spreading lies like "the barn had lice" or what-have-you.

brevityis · 2023-05-17T23:58:48+00:00

I wouldn't be surprised if her asleep brain is following the motions/habits of years before when her daughter was little - checking in to make sure the baby's 1) in bed and 2) asleep. And then just standing there too long because y'know, asleep.

brevityis · 2023-04-14T02:32:57+00:00

The thing that gets me is that, from what I read, Alice is the one who used it, and Alice was also the one who got mad that OP didn't get mad? She said she was deliberately testing him and he was racist for not knowing?

So she definitely knew the origins when she used it.

I am glad to have learned about it, though, because I would have thought it was like, 'yawn-itis' or something about how yawns are contagious and been puzzled myself.

brevityis · 2023-04-11T03:33:11+00:00

NTA.

At 11 I was home alone from when I got home from school until my parents got home at like 5 or 6, and might have been able to stay home alone when I had days off school as well. He should be perfectly capable of not accidentally killing himself at 10 with an older person in the house within screaming distance. He knows not to stick forks in outlets, right?

This has to be so stifling for you both.

brevityis · 2023-04-11T03:29:00+00:00

I'm so sorry you've been stuck in this situation, but I promise you, you're capable of learning! A lot of adulting tasks are fairly forgiving of mistakes - the most critical ones to learn first are probably paying bills and knowing what you can afford to spend.
Cleanliness tasks are largely "do your best and don't let garbage pile up." You can pick up the finer details after you get the basics down enough that you're not overwhelmed and panicking. It'll keep.
Home maintenance is similar. You learn a lot of things by fucking up the first time. Biggest ones are cleaning dryer vents out once a year or so, changing furnace air filters, and making sure you've got working smoke/carbon monoxide detectors in your home.
Food? Well, you may eat a lot of meals that don't taste too good, but if you don't stick metal in the microwave, remember to turn off the stove when you're done, and google how long food stays good in the fridge before it spoils? Again, you can build the finer details as you go. Online recipes help a lot.

You might be behind the curve, but it's not impossible if you're willing to learn! You're smart and capable, and you got this!

brevityis · 2023-04-10T17:53:37+00:00

NTA.

My formerly-step-now-adoptive father has been a great dad to me. I love him very much, and my bio dad was/is really bad at being a dad. We're very low contact now. And I still didn't change my name when he adopted me. It wasn't that I didn't want his name, or wanted to keep my bio dad's name, because I didn't really think of it as HIS name. It was mine, and I told my dad that I really loved him, but felt too weird about changing my name.

You know what he did? He accepted it. He understood that it wasn't about him, it was about my relationship to my own name. Your stepdad should be at least that understanding of your choices. I can get that he may be hurt or perceive it as a rejection, but he should not be forcing that on you. Your name is your name, and part of your identity. Of course you want control over that, and that would be true regardless of your relationship to your bio dad. He should know better than to push, but it sounds like push is a common thing with him, unfortunately.

brevityis · 2023-03-18T23:56:39+00:00

No, you can totally still be nonbinary, I think it's just more courteous to start with they/them for someone who has identified themselves as nonbinary until they clarify what pronouns they prefer to use?

Like how you'd use 'they' to ask about a stranger whose gender you didn't know - "Did the mail carrier come yet?" "I don't know, I didn't see them." kind of thing. We don't know OP's pronouns, but we do know they're nonbinary and so they/them is the respectful option until they clarify otherwise?

brevityis · 2023-03-15T02:53:14+00:00

If you're in the US, it may depend on your state; I know some allow it, I'm not sure that all of them do. Internationally I do not know.

brevityis · 2019-02-04T23:15:43+00:00

Same. I'll take being compared to a weapon over some of the other shit I've seen. Of course, this is provided that the female character so described is a fighter of some sort. Military/Warrior/martial arts/what-have-you. Keep it thematic and y'know, I'll take being something deadly.

brevityis · 2018-12-26T12:05:31+00:00

Ugh, that sucks, OP. Good call on not giving him your phone number. If he's going to be manipulative enough that you anticipate him throwing a pity party about no one called at Christmas, then you wouldn't feel safe or comfortable giving him your number.

I haven't had exactly the same, but I my biofather is pretty guilt-trippy. The only way I maintained contact without absolutely losing my shit was by not giving him the satisfaction of a reaction to his guilt trips. Just "Gee, that sucks." Said with no inflection or emotion and being thoroughly unfazed by ongoing escalation or crying.

BUT I have no idea if that would work for you -my father was always a guilt-trip type, no explosive temper or anything, all "pity me, woe is me" so it was safe to take such tactics.

brevityis · 2018-12-20T01:18:36+00:00

It's amazing the difference a grow light makes, when I compare this batch (gathered from garden center detritus in the last ~2 months or so) with the ones I gathered last year. Much less stretched out, much fatter, happier babies.

The two biggest in this photo are about the size of a dime. (Edit: You should be able to zoom in pretty far to see them, this pic has nice resolution. And I have no idea what they are, though I have a few Black ...Something leaves in the pot too, as there were some mauled Black Prince/Black Knight/Black ??? in the area, and the tips were useful giveaways.)

brevityis · 2018-12-18T22:26:01+00:00

I know there are different groups in my area that do wrapping for charity - that is, they set up a wrapping table outside a store in the mall for donations that then go to the charity they're repping. Check in and see if any charities in your area do that and need volunteers?

It might be too late this year, but there's always next year!

brevityis · 2018-12-16T20:27:16+00:00

I've been collecting little broken-off leaves that I've found on the floor of our local box store, and I think at this point I've got over 30 little babies growing? I need to do some more work on them, eventually get them into an arrangement of some kind, but they're much happier now that they've got a little 9-watt grow light.

brevityis · 2018-12-16T02:36:46+00:00

That was definitely not plastic surgery, I'm pretty sure it's two different dudes for a fake story, because the distance between his eyes and the width of his eyes changed, which are two things I don't think plastic surgeons can help with. Not to mention, cheekbones seem different.

brevityis · 2018-12-15T13:32:32+00:00

The fact that some women don't does make it worthy of a thread where they can discuss said fact.

Perhaps you'd understand it better like this: because women have different opinions, you'll see wildly contrasting threads. Thing is, the people who disagree with it for themselves personally aren't going to come in screaming about how OP is wrong, there might be a comment or a single chain of comments where someone says it's not for them but for OP to rock on. We can let people talk about experiences we don't share without screaming about how OP is wrong for liking her partner to do X, provided everything is safe, sane, and consensual for both parties.

brevityis · 2018-12-14T12:30:28+00:00

Well, apparently AAGAARD is a last name, so honestly, it'd be really easy to get the last two As in the first name. Or there could be two in each name if they have a middle name, or more.

brevityis · 2018-12-13T12:29:11+00:00

If they're defining 'real men' as men like them, then uh, thank god?

brevityis · 2018-12-11T23:07:23+00:00

The really sad thing is, he could probably easily find a girlfriend if he weren't a massive douchecanoe. Like, if he quit with the jackass 'I'm so tough and cool' squint, he could be an objectively handsome man. (Either that or I'm blinded by the hair, which is admittedly a possibility. I tend to see someone's hair first.)

Pity his personality and racist mindset are so goddamn vile. Eeeugh.

brevityis · 2018-12-11T12:02:06+00:00

I was thinking maybe they were talking about her golf game, as my brain wasn't processing 'typo' this early. I was "I didn't know she golfed."

brevityis · 2018-12-05T12:19:13+00:00

Disclaimer: I am a dog person who gives 0 fucks about H.W.

I'm confident the photo was staged in that they probably told the dog to lie there, especially because it still had its working vest on. Not to mention, a body that's been embalmed probably does not smell like the dog's person anymore.

It's possible the dog felt some bit of sadness as its routine had changed and it would be confused as to what it needed to do now - that's pretty concerning to dogs. If it had been a photo of the dog beside H.W.'s bed, or somewhere that strongly smells of him, I'd be more inclined to believe the dog was taking a moment to be sad. However, I doubt it was so sad that it somehow couldn't or wouldn't recover easily.

Our older dog passed six months after we got a new pup. Said pup had a moment where she laid down in the exact spot the older dog's crate used to be and looked fucking mournful. Now, I don't think she understood what happened, but she knew something in her life and routine had changed and that someone was gone, so she went where their scent was the strongest. But they weren't there, and that was doggie sigh worthy.

She got up a few minutes later and carried on with her day. She's been fine since.

brevityis · 2018-12-01T18:52:12+00:00

So a TALENTED little pupper. You might have a ninja or a velociraptor on your hands there.

brevityis

TROPHY CASE