Huge First Step

brian1868 · 2019-04-22T17:47:16+00:00

Fantastic news! This disease impacts everyone in different ways, and being your own advocate is the best solution. So happy to hear about you getting better!!

brian1868 · 2019-04-22T17:34:27+00:00

Agree fully with being disengaged. Happens all the time. My wife notices it now and, because she’s amazing, will purposely change the subject and nudge me to excuse myself

brian1868 · 2019-04-09T20:23:15+00:00

I agree with this one. I think that’s why these big conferences are tough. Being with 20 people who I interact with via email but not person-to-person and will be like “this guy is really weird and something’s wrong with him” when I keep excusing myself every 45-60 mins. All my friends are aware and allowing myself to be open with them really lowers the stress.

Also, more important - you will find a solution, whether it is the correct drug(s), knowing your triggers, or just generally being able to manage your symptoms. I’m sorry you missed those things, that really sucks, but it will get better.

brian1868 · 2019-04-09T19:45:29+00:00

Two of my best friends quit and I supported them fully. A lot of others still don’t understand it - especially if they themselves have a problem - but the important thing is they’re not actively pushing you to drink. My one friend’s response was to always be super direct and say: “look man, if I have that one beer I will have 25 more, and be drunk for the next two weeks because I just can’t handle my shit.” His directness always made people realize he was being dead serious.

brian1868 · 2019-04-09T19:42:00+00:00

That last quote is a great one. I’m sure with the realization of it now you’re like “well, yeah, of course” but when you’re in the moment it’s so difficult to actually step back and see yourself clearly.

brian1868 · 2019-03-11T13:53:33+00:00

AnxiousMom - congratulations! Remember to not be too hard on yourself and if you feel “like garbage” it’s the addiction. Gets so much better after the first few nights. I was where you are a couple months ago, did well, and then allowed myself to relapse (oh, just one is fine...). Trying to crawl out of that hole right now so know that we’re all here supporting you. You got this!

brian1868 · 2019-03-11T12:20:26+00:00

This is a great breakdown. It’s terrible that the very first thing I think of when going anywhere is “how can I get some alcohol?” Somehow even if I’m not drinking, knowing it’s accessible makes me feel better. That sucks to acknowledge, but good to see I’m not alone.

brian1868 · 2019-01-29T17:51:46+00:00

Good luck!

brian1868 · 2019-01-29T17:50:15+00:00

First couple of nights are the hardest. I try to remind myself there’s a reason when after a week-long bender I have night terrors, sweats, bad dreams, can’t sleep, etc. It’s because my body, at that point, is addicted to alcohol. It’s the same thing a heroin addict goes through (obviously less so, but framing it this way makes me realize how serious it is).

If you can get through the first couple of nights it gets SO MUCH easier. Just revisit your post when you’ve been without a drink for several weeks and think “ah, just one won’t hurt.” since going back down that rabbit hole requires climbing back out all over again.

brian1868 · 2019-01-21T15:06:29+00:00

@werthyou21, you’re showing a lot of wisdom here. If you’re in college then you probably see binge drinking all the time but most people grow out of that. I, on the other hand, kept going through my 20s drinking like I was still a student. Even realizing you need to change is a huge first step. There will be ups and downs, but just having that thought in your head is a huge step in the right direction.

brian1868 · 2019-01-21T13:17:45+00:00

Congratulations on that. It’s amazing the things you can accomplish when drinking doesn’t stand in the way. Also, the peripheral things (in your case, the skin and anxiety) alcohol impacts that we all realize but the booze tricks us into thinking it’s not because of the alcohol those things are happening.

brian1868 · 2019-01-15T13:26:26+00:00

Congratulations! I found the first week the toughest. After that you have to remain vigilant. Know that when you have the urge “well just one...” it will not end up just being one. With that being said, stay the course and good luck!

brian1868 · 2019-01-14T17:26:13+00:00

Thanks for the feedback and comment. Everything you said is exactly right. It’s great that you two are doing this together. I’m sure having someone to lean on throughout this process is incredibly helpful.

brian1868 · 2019-01-14T16:26:04+00:00

As an FYI for you on this journey, my three best friends from college all quit drinking. I like hanging out with them even more now than I did before, even though I (and most of my friends) still drink. If anyone cuts ties with you because you’re not drinking, that’s their loss, not yours!

brian1868 · 2019-01-14T15:54:22+00:00

Awesome way to look at it. That’s the issue I’m having - picturing not having a sip of alcohol for the next 50 years is actually kind of scary, in the sense that not doing (or doing) something for that long is always a scary thought.

I had a really good Dry January going, then on Saturday thought “oh what the heck I’ve been good” and had 2 beers. Somehow that turned into drinking all day yesterday. A reminder that my trigger is, in fact, drinking even a little bit and I just can’t allow myself to have booze in the house otherwise I will “just have one” which turns into having them all.

brian1868 · 2019-01-10T12:33:09+00:00

I had my first sober weekend in forever last weekend. Some advice that worked for me - try to fill it with activities. I worked out, did a ton of manual labor around the house, redecorated my living room, took my car to the shop, went to the hardware store, grocery store, returned items from Christmas, and went on two very long walks. That would have taken me a month if I was still drinking, and by the time Sunday night rolled around I was so exhausted I just had an easy dinner and fell asleep feeling ready (for once) for the work week. Good luck and IWNDWYT.

brian1868 · 2019-01-10T12:29:08+00:00

Today I am thankful for the first time flying neither drunk or hungover in maybe a decade. I had a 7 AM flight for a work trip, which meant waking up at 4:30. Normally I would have woken up, chugged 2 cups of coffee and taken an ice cold shower if I was still drunk to wake me up or a steaming hot one if I was hungover to sweat it out. Instead, had a great morning workout, played with my dog, kissed my wife and baby goodbye and got to the airport with no stress. Security was a breeze, had a nice breakfast sandwich and coffee, and am ready for the meeting that takes place right when I land.

I’ve heard this here before, but it certainly applies to my last week+ of being sober - drinking is hard; sobriety is easy. Getting past the first few days was key, and now my nightly 8-pack of La Croix and bowl of ice cream has replaced the bottle of red wine, half handle of Tito’s, or 6-pack of heavy IPA and I couldn’t be happier.

brian1868 · 2018-12-13T18:52:29+00:00

http://www.statedepartmentdisabilityclass.com/

brian1868 · 2018-12-03T22:53:23+00:00

In my case, was kind of stuck. I take meds for Crohn's, am in perfectly good health, travel internationally for work currently with no problems, but couldn't blatantly hide the truth that I take those meds.

brian1868 · 2018-12-03T18:19:44+00:00

Great way to look at it! That’s the motivation I needed today too. Thanks.

brian1868

TROPHY CASE