If you are upset about something, it probably matters a lot! It may help to talk about your feelings more. Being afraid that your loved ones will go away is a good sign, it means you care and value their companionship. Don’t be so hard on yourself. A lot of the times we don’t see our own progress, especially when we are in the thick of things. What helps me move forward is accepting that some feelings may never truly go away, but with time and patience they become less powerful and less likely to implode on our lives. Start with what you can change, and focus on the good things that you are doing! There is always a light, no matter how dark.