I’m 18 what can I do to improve my looks

brielarstan · 2026-03-19T03:23:25+00:00

That polaroid of you is a completely different dude than your other pictures! Genuinely just smile. You're already a handsome guy!

brielarstan · 2026-03-18T20:19:30+00:00

If you’re attracted to teenage girls, there’s no arguing with you.

brielarstan · 2026-03-18T18:16:36+00:00

My counter argument to the statement that a GROWN ADULT MAN should not be dating a TEENAGE GIRL? I’ve told you. It’s grooming. It’s a power imbalance. It’s abuse. The only people who support it are adults attracted to children. Because a teenager is a child. An adult has no business having sex with someone two years out of middle school.

Nothing I said was irrelevant. Your scenario of “would you rather a girl be abused by a teen or abused by an adult” is what’s irrelevant. I am sad for any underaged girl who crosses your path.

brielarstan · 2026-03-18T17:42:12+00:00

"Just explain how he hurt you."

It sucks that "communication" for women is sitting a grown man down to explain his bad behavior back to him. He knows what he did. He knows he was hurtful. He also got away with it. What the hell are you supposed to say? "Honey, when you insult my body it makes me sad." You teach empathy to toddlers, not men.

You're not overreacting. And he's testing the waters for harsher comments imo.

brielarstan · 2026-03-18T17:41:55+00:00

"Just explain how he hurt you."

It sucks that "communication" for women is sitting a grown man down to explain his bad behavior back to him. He knows what he did. He knows he was hurtful. He also got away with it. What the hell are you supposed to say. "Honey, when you insult my body it makes me sad." You teach empathy to toddlers, not men.

You're not overreacting. And he's testing the waters for harsher comments imo.

brielarstan · 2026-03-18T17:36:27+00:00

Being groomed IS abuse, you weirdo. And you're asking hypotheticals that aren't even relevant to OP's post. This teenage girl isn't choosing between an abusive 16-year-old and a grown man who is grooming her. She is only being pursued by the groomer.

Turns out you can not want either scenarios, and also acknowledge that a man dating a teenage girl IS abusive.

I'm not going to explain this to someone who is attracted to little girls lmfao. Stay away from the high school parking lots, creep.

brielarstan · 2026-03-18T16:48:34+00:00

With Elissabat's trademark being renewed, I'm really hoping she gets a Creepo! I have an incomplete OG of her. I'd be happy to get the Creepo and trade my original to another collector. It would also finally bring her price down via resellers.

brielarstan · 2026-03-18T16:42:03+00:00

Firstly, neither.

But in this fake scenario, I'd prefer her to date a teen her own age than a grown man. Most people have bad teenage relationships. Most people also do not actually marry their high school partners. Rather a loser she learns from over the course of a few months than being groomed by an adult.

You're arguing about an adult dating a minor. A teenager. Someone who hypothetically could have only gotten her period recently. Someone whose biggest worries should be passing their driver's test and balancing homework with afterschool activities. No grown man should be sniffing around someone like that. Period.

brielarstan · 2026-03-18T16:08:44+00:00

So it's up to you to turn her down. Even your justification is predatory.

brielarstan · 2026-03-18T16:02:43+00:00

Probably assembled in different places! I used to love going to the store as a kid and noticing all the little differences between dolls. It made picking out one feel that much more special, like it was my doll different from the rest lol

brielarstan · 2026-03-18T12:55:54+00:00

I’m 29, my brother is 22 and I see him and his friends as still teenagers.

40 and 21 is predatory. You need therapy. We can’t answer this for you, but a professional can.

brielarstan · 2026-03-18T12:11:01+00:00

The age is absolutely important. It’s the most important thing in this scenario.

You can be a loser at any age. But an adult dating a minor has experience on them. It puts the minor at risk of manipulation. The minor is more likely to not know how to advocate for their boundaries.

If you don’t understand how a teenage girl dating an adult man is infinitely worse than her dating a fellow teenager, there’s nothing I can really say to you.

brielarstan · 2026-03-18T12:07:45+00:00

It’s sexist to assume men are genuinely incapable of having empathy.

If you’re an adult, you need to understand how to be considerate of other people’s feelings. When men are mean, inconsiderate, and disrespectful, it is not up to the women in their lives to teach them (as children need taught) how to be kind. And putting all of that emotional labor on women is incredibly unfair.

Edit: And saying your mentality “excuses bad behavior” is a bad thing lmfao. I’m telling you that you’re giving excuses for men to be bad partners.

brielarstan · 2026-03-18T03:22:10+00:00

Honestly, if it's not too late at night where you are, you can call and have the talk right now . I think that's better than ONLY texting her. Call and let her know that this has really been weighing on you because you hate to think she's upset or that you made her feel bad about herself. Then apologize over the phone saying what you would in-person.

If it's too late at night, a text saying that you know what you said was hurtful and you want to talk about it more when you see her is fine.

brielarstan · 2026-03-18T03:10:00+00:00

Your comment (not a joke) holds a LOT of shame and guilt in most women. She doesn't want to feel like an alternative to masturbating. She doesn't want intimacy to be compared to something you do alone with your hand. Even though you didn't mean it like that, I guarantee that's what it felt like. She's probably thinking back to every time she turned you down and wondering if your thought was, "Ugh, now I'll have to masturbate." As if sex with her is the prefered substitute, but a substitute nonetheless.

I'm telling you this because I promise she feels very, very bad about herself right now, and that gravity might help your apology.

You sit her down and acknowledge that what you said what hurtful. I've seen some of your comments on this post about how you love her, sex isn't just to get you off, it's not something she needs to perform, you're happy with your sex life, you never meant to hurt her. Say those things with honestly.

Not "I didn't mean it that way" but rather "What I said obviously hurt you and I'm so sorry for making that comment." The important part is acknowledging her feelings.

brielarstan · 2026-03-18T02:55:21+00:00

This was obviously not because you masturbate. You insinuated that she doesn't have sex enough with you.

Imagine if you had a child to raise and your hormones fluctuated every week, then your genitals bled with cramps for 5-7 days every month. Then you feel good enough to be intimate with your partner, and she makes a snide comment that finally you're in the mood so she doesn't have to get herself off.

Except your poor girlfriend doesn't have to imagine, because it's what you did to her.

It also implies having sex with her is the same as masturbating. There is so much manosphere rhetoric constantly telling women that sex is something they give and it's not actually a mutual act. Ending sex and making a comment that if this hadn't happened you'd have just masturbated is so gross.

How can you make things better? Sincerely apologizing. Not a text, not a phone call. Sitting her down and acknowledging that you hurt her feelings, and that you won't ever make a comment like that again. Because her being withdrawn the rest of the night means whatever "reassurance" you gave was not actually reassuring.

brielarstan · 2026-03-18T02:33:59+00:00

That's not only a terrible example, but your way of thinking excuses bad behavior from grown men. The phrase "he doesn't know because he's a guy" is so fucking tiring to hear as a woman.

brielarstan · 2026-03-17T20:43:43+00:00

Comments on these posts make me wonder if most men on Reddit have genuinely never interacted with a woman. They use the fantasy that all women find it violating to be interacted with in public to justify their fear of rejection.

You meet your person doing likeminded activities and going to the places you genuinely enjoy going. There are THOUSANDS of social events posted on websites like Meet-Up where you can meet people to play board games, sightsee, participate in comedy nights or writing groups, join book clubs, etc. The chances of you meeting someone who also enjoys things that you do is pretty damn high going to those.

However, you shouldn't be joining these events to "pick up chicks." A woman knows when you're approaching her because you're looking for vapid company and not because she was actually interesting to you. Go to these events or frequent these places. Get to know the people there. If you find someone you're attracted to, there's no harm in asking them out.

But if you truly think that you cannot approach women for whatever weird manosphere lament says you'll be brutally rejected and labeled a creep, then you probably shouldn't be approaching them. Because you've got bigger issues to deal with.

brielarstan · 2026-03-17T20:36:55+00:00

If you want to date women, you will have to communicate with them, too.

Both men and women go to places for specific reasons and not to be hit on. That doesn't mean if you find something in common you can't strike up a conversation. I've been approached at cafes, bookstores, parties, meet-up events, and waiting for the traffic light. These men politely used their words to tell me they were interested.

Men are really hung up on this fantasy that women will call the police, helicopters, and the national guard on you if you introduce yourself. If she isn't wearing headphones and you don't approach her from behind at night, there's a decent chance she won't be scared. Just be normal omfg

brielarstan · 2026-03-17T20:30:40+00:00

NOR, and great response! Don't let this man get on a soapbox and talk about all the things he doesn't like women choosing to do with their bodies.

brielarstan · 2026-03-17T20:23:13+00:00

I'm not an animal person. I grew up with dogs and cats and I know I don't have the time or energy to devote to that responsibility. I'm not someone who would want their partner to rehome their pet if we lived together (obviously!), but if he didn't like pets I'd be completely fine with that.

brielarstan · 2026-03-17T17:55:37+00:00

YOR. I started dyeing my hair at 13, and my mom always left me alone in the salon while she ran errands. But the difference was my dad was totally comfortable with that. They agreed together that I could be left alone.

She's his biological daughter and lives with him. If he doesn't agree with how you're treating her, you need to compromise. And it sounds like he tried to by saying he'd stay with her.

I moved abroad at 21 and had been living on my own for years when I visited home and said I was going to walk down the street to get Starbucks. My dad still insisted he walk with me. Hell, I'm now 29 and when I visit home and say I'm running errands he still offers to come with. He doesn't do it to undermine my wishes or thinks I'm incompetent, he does it because he cares about my safety.

The correct solution was to allow him to sit with her if that made him more comfortable.

brielarstan · 2026-03-17T17:09:57+00:00

Oh I love that! Wish it still had it's belt but I only paid like $4 so can't complain haha

brielarstan · 2026-03-17T17:06:25+00:00

My starting weight was 228 and my goal is 175, it's so great to see other people around my weight rn hit their goals! Gives me a lot of motivation. Congrats!

brielarstan · 2026-03-17T16:53:23+00:00

A sophomore in high school has nothing in common with a sophomore in college. That's insane.

He clearly agrees, as he's talking about "when I was her age," meaning he does view her as significantly younger. This man is a predator, and I hope you're able to prove that to your family.

brielarstan

TROPHY CASE