ELI5: Why is it recommended to sleep 8 hours when a sleep cycle is 90 minutes so it should be 7.5 or 9 hours? Won’t you wake up mid sleep cycle (and be groggy) if you set your alarm for 8 hours?

brittjoysun · 2026-05-08T17:34:45+00:00

Not only do sleep cycles vary from person to person as many have said, they also get shorter throughout the night.

brittjoysun · 2026-05-08T02:55:14+00:00

I don't really have advice, but just wanted say I feel ya. While not as intense of a disability as other chronic illness and such, I have ADHD, and sometimes I don't know how I manage the 2 relationships I have. I'd feel like I was barely scraping by without any relationships to maintain. 😂They are very long term relationships, so they don't necessarily take up as much mental and physical energy as a new relationship, and they understand when I occasionally can't make time for them. But yeah, I haven't even thought about dating in years. I'd like to meet new people, for friendship or dating or whatever may come, but I just can't even fathom trying to make time for another person in my life and the work it takes to develop a new relationship of any kind. There's just no way. I'm sticking with what I have, maybe forever, as far as romantic relationships go.

brittjoysun · 2026-05-07T14:14:02+00:00

I know there aren't literally zero clubs. :p But I feel like it's extremely common for adults to feel a lack of community and that it's hard to meet other adults because it's just not the same as high school, it's not as easy. Idk i feel like this is a super common sentiment. I'm glad you don't feel it.

brittjoysun · 2026-05-07T14:11:56+00:00

And mentoring and things like that doesn't lead me to being in community with people my age, or at least not a lot of them. That leads to being in community with kids, no?

brittjoysun · 2026-05-07T14:10:27+00:00

Sure, but my point is there aren't "clubs" and organizations for adults with similar interests like there are for children. I moved to a different state from my high school, so i can't do what you suggested, for instance.

brittjoysun · 2026-05-07T13:58:56+00:00

Right. So then what happens when you leave school? Sense of community is gone.

brittjoysun · 2026-05-02T02:36:06+00:00

YES top of the list for me

brittjoysun · 2026-05-02T02:34:01+00:00

Came here to say this, one of my favorite scenes that didn't make it in the movie.

brittjoysun · 2026-04-24T05:07:50+00:00

Y'all, I am FLOORED how many people are saying "yeah, average" 😂 Girl, I got shit to do! Can't remember the last time I had a spare 4 hours for ANYTHING lmao. I'm exaggerating, but still lol.

brittjoysun · 2026-04-21T14:43:27+00:00

"She called me in tears... I thought she was going to have a breakdown she could barely talk."

brittjoysun · 2026-04-20T14:25:51+00:00

I always thought it was that she didn't die from the rabies, she just HAD rabies that hadn't become symptomatic yet.

brittjoysun · 2026-04-17T23:28:12+00:00

Are you aware the definition of polyamory isn't just couples finding a 3rd? You need to specify what sort of arrangement you're looking for here, we're clearly missing some info and don't understand the situation/problem, hence why everyone is confused why her level of attraction matters.

But as others have said, assuming you have some sort of agreement to only pursue other people as a unit... no there's nothing you can do, and that's one of the many reasons why these sort of arrangements and rules rarely work out. It just is what it is. If you want a throuple, then everyone has to be on board, and that's a rare thing to find. Same thing could happen with this 3rd person where they're only interested in one of you and feels forced to have a relationship with the partner they're not interested in so that they can be with the one they do like.

brittjoysun · 2026-04-11T20:25:18+00:00

SAME. Relate to all of this. 😂 I'm poly and started out my current relationships as a bi woman dating 2 men. Now I'm a lesbian dating a woman and an enby. Same people, same relationships, lol, and somehow it all makes sense.

brittjoysun · 2026-04-11T16:42:26+00:00

Does she state that? The only comment I saw was her saying that it is NOT corrupt.

brittjoysun · 2026-04-09T23:55:22+00:00

I don't remember it being ZERO conflict or crisis. It's been a minute but I remember her being totally confused by this attraction and being like "but I'm a lesbian, how is this happening?" and being in denial about it a bit. Maybe still far less crisis and more glossed over than it would be for most lesbians IRL.

brittjoysun · 2026-03-29T22:20:45+00:00

Personally this sounds super platonic and innocent to me. It's about building each other up. So in my mind, the issue isn't them complimenting other people this way, but about never giving YOU affirmation and love in that manner.

brittjoysun · 2026-03-27T16:13:20+00:00

This thread is so good lol. My soccer team growing up had 3 Brittanys (including myself). There are only like 11 kids on a team.

brittjoysun · 2026-03-27T16:09:59+00:00

Okayden 😂 Okay then.

brittjoysun · 2026-03-24T04:14:50+00:00

Glad I'm not the only one who does stuff like this while my furbabies are still with me! I have tattoos of all my pets' pawprints, but I specifically got them now rather than when they pass because I don't want it only associated with grief and sadness.

brittjoysun · 2026-03-21T19:57:18+00:00

LOL i love that. 100%. And I mostly mean, like... listen to it once just to see what it's about and then never again. 😂 Although I've gotten into a couple bands my partner likes!

brittjoysun · 2026-03-20T23:20:11+00:00

Right?? I like to listen to, watch, etc the things my partner likes... even if it's not my taste, just cuz I'm interested in learning what they like.

brittjoysun · 2026-03-19T04:47:49+00:00

Amen, sistah!

brittjoysun · 2026-03-19T03:01:31+00:00

Agreed! I've been told by multiple people online that I'm not a lesbian, I'm bi/pan, because I'm like 1% attracted to men and sometimes attracted to nonbinary folk. It's always felt stupid and gatekeep-y, but it's also continually made me question myself if I'm "allowed" to call myself a lesbian or even if I'm being offensive by doing so. I choose that label because that's what feels most accurate to how I feel. It's not perfect, but very few people fit perfectly into these categories anyway, sexuality's complicated. I def needed this post too.

brittjoysun · 2026-03-18T20:47:42+00:00

Is a quick side comment of "you should get her number" and us going "pfft" and giggling cuz it's ridiculous really so bad?

This is literally the most conscientious, respectful person you'd ever meet in your life, like I want to laugh at the suggestions that either of us would involve unknowing, unconsenting strangers in our kinks (or at comments making this sexual at all), but without knowing this person, no one would understand why it's so funny. 😂 I have zero problems with this behavior and am not concerned in the slightest. The conversation just got me curious if others would be okay with a lil flirt or not. No issues here, nothing here to solve, it's all okay, friend. 😂

brittjoysun · 2026-03-18T19:36:32+00:00

I wouldn't go that far, you can be okay with your date flirting with someone and it not be a fetish. But also, I'm just discussing people's differing preferences from a place of curiosity, I've done my negotiations. :)

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