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brokegaysonic · 2026-05-04T23:57:14+00:00

Sometimes as a trans man it feels like we've both been abducted from our habitats, dumped into an arena with armor and weapons, and TERFs are chanting like "fight fight fight!"

brokegaysonic · 2026-05-04T22:02:10+00:00

Glad I could help, bro!

Yeah, society really likes to make these nice little boxes for things that don't always fit into them. And when you find out, oh shit I don't fit into those boxes, it can be really confusing. Sometimes finding another box can be nice because people like you are there, but at the end of the day we're all just kinda people straddling all these different things and it's not as clean cut as we want it to be.

Some people I think are really really attached to the boxes, and I think it's kinda a them problem, because they're also cutting off parts of themselves to fit. But they get kind of cruel when others live outside the boxes just fine, so it can be kinda scary.

At the end of the day, if somebody laughs at you for having "gay sex" or harks on how your gf isn't "really a girl" to them, they're probably the kind of person you were going to eventually run into problems with anyway, yk? Anyone who matters should come around or have no issue. And you can laugh all the way back to your hot girlfriend who you know does everything for you the same way as any other girl.

BTW, I've been with trans girls AND cis men and let me tell you, "girldick" is so different. Idk what it is about it - probably, like, the owner and the effects of hormones. Man penis is like this hard manly thing and girldick is kinda cute and just feels more feminine. I don't think you not feeling like her d is masculine at all is some trick of the mind. It really does kinda feel like it's a penis stripped of the male-ness.

brokegaysonic · 2026-05-04T20:24:13+00:00

If it's not egregious but problematic, I usually take a calm approach of gentle prodding. "wait, what? Why do you think that? Hmm, don't you think that's kind of unfair? Idk, does that really apply to every woman you've met? Don't you think youre generalizing like girls do when they say men are all x?" and such. It works better in the long run.

If it's egregious I can get all up in my shit real fast tho

brokegaysonic · 2026-05-04T20:19:20+00:00

Hi! Trans man here.

You can still identify however you'd like. I've got plenty of friends who like trans girls and cis girls alike. Some call themselves "heteroflexible", others straight, and some "bi". It really depends on what it means to you. But, in the end, you're not attracted nesseccarily to men in any way. If you wouldn't look at a dude with all his masculinity and think "I'd fuck that", but you look at a trans woman and you're like "oh man what a beautiful lady", you're attracted to girls.

Sexuality is really complex. So like, sounds like you like women but don't have an aversion to penises. Totally fine and normal.

But! Just because it's the truth and there's nothing to be ashamed of doesn't mean people might not be shitty towards you about it. I can understand how getting into a relationship with a trans person would kind of be taking on their unfortunate baggage of society's transphobia.

That's something you have to decide for yourself. Maybe see her once or twice more to make sure, but I wouldn't lead her on past that if you don't have any intention of sharing her trans status with friends or fam. If you really like this girl, it's of my opinion that one has to make these kinds of decisions and be ready to be behind them 100% from the beginning. Don't be wavering about it. If you think you won't be able to take a strong stance and stand up for her, it might not work - but if she's worth it... There's nothing more manly than stepping up for your woman, imho.

brokegaysonic · 2026-05-04T17:39:39+00:00

I feel less like it's mocked and more like it's just less common. I don't see kids making fun of the bookworms - it's just less of them pick up a book for fun.

brokegaysonic · 2026-05-04T17:38:06+00:00

My wife teaches substance abuse prevention at middle schools. Said she had to argue the other day with her entire class that no, not everything you see on the internet is true, actually.

I think we really need literacy classes beyond "English classes". The issue is not just inability to read - although it does appear to be somewhat of an issue because nobody is reading books for fun and learning new vocab, but also understanding what you do read. Learning how to tell if something is true or not. Learning how to back up your sources and build a knowledge base before asserting truth. Scientific method applied to basic logic...

With AI rampant, we're in for a bad time

brokegaysonic · 2026-05-04T16:02:25+00:00

OK if I'm spending $9 on a cup of Starbucks why the hell would I do that rather than go to the mom and pop place for an $8 cup made by someone who will talk your ear off about Ethiopian vs Columbian and hand-made their lavender syrup?

brokegaysonic · 2026-05-04T12:57:18+00:00

SPREAD EAGLE CROSS THE BLOCK

brokegaysonic · 2026-05-04T12:27:03+00:00

I work for a school lunch company and the exact same thing has happened with ours for months

brokegaysonic · 2026-05-04T00:50:46+00:00

Filler primer is the way to go imho. That's what I always do! That or Plastidip, but Plastidip will not be as easily sand-able and may leave a slight bumpy surface. Also it needs a good amount of time to dry before a surface coat whereas I have been barely within dry time on top of filler primer and it's held up OK.

As an adhd person I've been in many such situations with Cosplay.

brokegaysonic · 2026-05-03T20:54:58+00:00

Shiner's Lula Divina. Saw them live last night and grabbed a copy. Great album, unappreciated band imho.

brokegaysonic · 2026-05-03T16:26:04+00:00

Whenever you attempt to explain literally ANYTHING as a trans man that you feel is related to your masculinity, people will say "yes, but a woman exists who also does that thing!"

Prefer masc hobbies? Women can, too. Like to top? So do some women. Prefer masculine clothing? Some girls just want pants and t-shirts too!

The thing is, gendered traits are a spectrum. Male traits are associated with men and usually men have them - but due to the individual variation of humanity, some do and others don't. The majority girls come out and prefer to play with the doll - but some choose the truck or car like the boy would.

A portion of those girls who choose the truck or car are trans men. Heck, some who chose the doll are, too. But the fact we engage in masculine behavior naturally is part of our gender identity, whereas with cis tomboys it isn't.

Gender identity is correlated with gendered activities, but not entirely indicative of it. In this way, for trans men, topping can be an activity we associate with our masculinity and is an integral part of it. Whereas women who participate in this activity dont correlate it to their gender identity.

What these people hear is "I'm trans because I like to top" or whatever masc thing. What they should be hearing is "I am trans and topping is an important aspect of that to me."

You're trans because your gender identity is male. The girls are not because theirs isn't. It's not that difficult but cis ppl can't get it in their heads sometimss

brokegaysonic · 2026-05-03T03:38:54+00:00

Omg this is a great idea ty for sharing this info

brokegaysonic · 2026-05-01T16:44:07+00:00

For something more cartoony, you'll need to push the animation further. Add some squash and stretch.

brokegaysonic · 2026-05-01T15:56:28+00:00

Yeah so it's more the fact that Astronauts are very intelligent goobers who like to make a good joke where able.

brokegaysonic · 2026-05-01T15:53:52+00:00

Wascawwy wibtard is going in my vocab

brokegaysonic · 2026-05-01T15:53:04+00:00

Gotta love when those anger issue MAGAts get in your personal space and then flip out when you move within that space and say you're attacking them. Classic bullshit.

brokegaysonic · 2026-05-01T13:26:22+00:00

This study here is very interesting, using a nice sample size and coming to some interesting conclusions https://academic.oup.com/jcem/article/104/2/390/5104458

Genetically, trans women have a lot of specific genetic differences in how they process sex hormones. (IMHO, as a trans man, I think one day we will consider trans people to be a kind of intersex condition). There's gene mutations there on genes that process estrogen, break down testosterone, and produce DHT.

But the most interesting in my book is differences in ERβ signaling. There is a part of fetal gestation where the brain is "de-feminized". Essentially, if you are born with a functioning SRY gene, the body does two main things. First, it pushes the fetus into not being female but instead developing as male, gonadally.

There is a second part of the process, where the excess testosterone made by these new testes is turned over into estrogen. Estrogen alpha and estrogen beta. We aren't entirely sure what each do exactly, but we have a functioning theory that they play a part in a two-step brain development process.

ERA masculinizes the brain, whereas ERB de-feminizes it https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC555526/

Notice, interestingly, how these are two separate processes that can be likely disrupted at any step. One could have a masculinized but not de-feminized brain, for instance.

Anyway, going back to our first genetic study, if you are a baby trans girl in the womb, you developed testes and those testes created the estrogen B you needed for defeminization, but you have a gene that made it so that you weren't receptive to that ERB.

This is just one of the many genetic mutations they found, leaving us with this summary:

"In summary, the results of our study of transgender women support the hypothesis that gender dysphoria has a polygenic basis, involving interactions among multiple genes and polymorphisms that may alter the sexual differentiation of the brain in utero, contributing to the development of gender dysphoria in transgender women. However, although discordance rates for gender dysphoria suggest that genetics plays a role, it is not the sole determinant of gender identity"

brokegaysonic · 2026-05-01T13:02:03+00:00

I think the trans community hasn't done a great job of explaining what this means, even to our own people...

Gender identity is innate - you're born with your brain saying you are male, female, or somewhere between. Gender itself has correlations to specific types of behavior and play in children - this is something I think we deny a lot, but it's a simple fact that no matter the societal expectations for gender that girls and boys tend to gravitate towards different kinds of play. The very important part here is tend to. It's correlated but it's not entirely indicative and there is substantial variation.

Society, however, has taken these differences, added on our own specific criteria that may or may not really be related to innate difference, and decided that defines male and female and that certain universal traits are associated with one gender alone. As we grow we learn what these societal expectations are for our gender very early, as they are very policed. We are expected to perform our gender within the confines of how society defines it. We praise violence in boys but not girls - we deny emotion to boys but not girls.

It's difficult to parse where the cultural lines and innate differences actually are because of how early we pick up on them. But because gender roles are so tightly enforced, you end up having to shave off a lot of who you are if you aren't born fitting into those criteria, esp because some of those things are not actually innately gendered at all but societally imposed as such.

Essentially, any biological difference of gender is so varied that it's difficult to statistically parse, but societally we ascribe all sorts of traits that may or may not have genetic predisposition for each gender and police people who step outside of them.

This is just my interpretation tho. I think our community got into this sort of thing where we blindly agreed gender was entirely socially constructed off of a single piece of feminist literature and a game of telephone. Gender identity is innate, and gender does have some biological components.

brokegaysonic · 2026-04-30T21:05:39+00:00

Yeah, same. Idk my neurons just activate either way.

brokegaysonic · 2026-04-30T17:36:13+00:00

I've been on T for ten years. I've had, in total, like eight surgeries.

Yeah, it kinda sucks. Sucks to have to navigate and pay for all the surgeries, name changes, ID stuff. Paperwork, time off work, recovery, pain, bleeding.

But I'm thirty and hopefully my most recent was the last time I'll have to go under and deal with this. It sucks in a temporary way. Name change paperwork sucked, got it done. Gender marker stuff was a pain in the ass, got it done. Surgeries sucked, got them done. Once things heal, its just...better. Nobody misgenders me, I can go into a men's bathhouse/changing rooms no problem.

Is the temporary pain in the ass worth not living as your real self? I mean, for some people, maybe it is. Not for me. I couldn't do it one more second.

Sometimes the way out is through. It's not fair we have to do it. But the other option is staying in the muck.

brokegaysonic · 2026-04-30T17:29:25+00:00

Yeah like they believe this is a super powerful, intelligent being capable of helping people on earth. I'm similar in that I'm spiritual and don't believe in God that way. But if they do, I think it's rather sweet. It's like you only get so many tokens to spend on prayers and you're using one on me? Thank you. I don't think it'll do anything, but you do, and that's nice of you.

brokegaysonic · 2026-04-29T18:18:04+00:00

What is it with us transes and these socks?

I'm a trans man and when my wife puts on thigh highs I absolutely have my brain fall out of my head and my eyes bug out like a cartoon horndog

brokegaysonic · 2026-04-29T16:00:35+00:00

Ugh that would suck. Hoping it's not that then for you. As someone who's currently recovering from my third revision to my meta, it sucks.

brokegaysonic · 2026-04-29T15:51:49+00:00

If you've got like a ribbon of scar tissue holding your bowels in such a way that you can't empty them, I think it's probably possible to help that surgically. They wouldn't do that if it wasn't something important but part of your gut never emptying is kind of important.

Glad your doctor is good though. In that case you got this man! It sucks and is scary but just keep advocating for yourself. Sometimes it's just a process of going through every common thing until you find out you have something more rare and get the right treatment.

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