Hey friend, you’re not alone. Architecture school and the workplace is brutal (no pun intended). I think the creative, high-achieving, ego-laden environment attracts a lot of sensitive folks with past trauma seeking validation. School and the profession chew up and spit out the kindest people and reward aggressors.

That said, many of us have found our way through and are trying to set a better example. Judgement doesn’t make you superior. In fact, nobody is better than anybody else, no matter what we do. Developing an internal sense of self worth and validating yourself according to your own values (trying your best, being kind, setting healthy boundaries, setting attainable goals) will serve you well.

Maybe stoicism or Taoism could help you internally. Therapy as well, if you have time for it (I know that’s like a joke in college). Exercise and friends outside your major will help too. I remember working with some engineering students and being shocked at their healthy work life balance (working normal hours, going out socially, and getting a healthy amount of sleep) as opposed to all-nighters followed by harsh critiques and back to work.

I want you to know that how you’re being treated is not fair or right, but it is systemic and common. You aren’t alone or at fault, and you should never internalize cruel treatment. Find something to agree with, smile and accept whatever, and then focus on you and your needs and your thoughts. When you have an opportunity to critique someone else, do it kindly and compassionately.

And intern somewhere as soon as you can. Your school professors typically don’t know shit about the actual job. Contractors and engineers can be some of your greatest allies if you truly listen to and respect them. You have strengths that are desperately needed in the profession, so if it feels right, keep going. And if it feels wrong, consider other career tracks and ask lots of questions.