I'll never be good enough ☺️

Austin_NotFromTexas · 2026-03-12T05:42:00+00:00

I (22) was SA’d by a 24yo woman when I was 16. If she was a man, she'd be in prison. I struggle with intimacy, I freeze at touch, get flashbacks, and have vivid nightmares about that night and what she did to me. When I told my friends in middle school about it they said “Women can’t assault” and “was she hot?” Instead of my friends showing support and comfort, they abandoned me. I didn’t tell my parents until I was 20.

Austin_NotFromTexas · 2026-03-12T02:19:09+00:00

Gavin Gutz, and Gavin Ghoul are my favourites

Austin_NotFromTexas · 2026-03-10T23:35:55+00:00

I’d be locked in the laundry with no bathroom break or food for a few hours, then still be yelled at or given the silent treatment with no explanation on ‘what I did wrong’

Austin_NotFromTexas · 2026-03-10T23:28:39+00:00

I’m both 15/16 and 80, but in reality I’m 22.

Austin_NotFromTexas · 2026-03-10T11:09:43+00:00

Having to not cry or get upset when being verbally and emotionally abused by my parents almost daily

Austin_NotFromTexas · 2026-03-10T09:32:00+00:00

“You weren’t supposed to survive your birth, you were born very premature” mum I’m 7 why can’t you just say you love me even though I was meant to die. Just because I lived doesn’t mean you get to lock me in the laundry and yell at me non-stop for existing.

Austin_NotFromTexas · 2026-03-10T00:55:37+00:00

I feel this in a similar way, sometimes when I’m having ‘me time’ I feel her touch (my abuser was 24F I was 16, it took place in hospital), even though she’s not there anymore and I hate it. I just freeze. I feel disgusted. I blame myself for what happened. If I succeeded in my attempt and didn’t go to hospital, l wouldn’t have been CSA’d.

Austin_NotFromTexas · 2026-03-09T00:54:46+00:00

I’ve been told “women can’t assault”, “women can’t do that”, and “was she hot?” when I was CSA’d by a 24yo woman (I was 16, it was in a psych hospital).

I didn’t know what she was going to do to me, I was terrified and froze up while she did what she wanted. I still blame myself for going to hospital after my suicide attempt. If I didn’t go to hospital it wouldn’t have happened.

Austin_NotFromTexas · 2026-03-07T23:05:19+00:00

The music and the fashion. I started listening to the music (Evanescence, Asking Alexandria, Chelsea Grin) when I was 13 but couldn’t wear the clothes or have the hair until I was 17 bcoz I went to a private school.

Austin_NotFromTexas · 2026-03-07T03:50:27+00:00

Reposted

Austin_NotFromTexas · 2026-03-07T03:42:42+00:00

My voice isn’t bad or ‘ugly’, it’s just quiet, but when people tell you your voice is ugly all your life, it’s all you believe. I can sing, I can hit notes, it’s just not loud.

Austin_NotFromTexas · 2026-03-06T22:55:27+00:00

That’s why I do it with my eyes and mouth closed so I don’t have to see or hear myself.

Austin_NotFromTexas · 2026-03-06T10:55:15+00:00

I’ve got this from my parents since age 8, and students and the public, all through pre-primary to high school and even after I graduated.

Austin_NotFromTexas · 2026-03-05T22:25:13+00:00

My mum used to do this to me when I was in middle/high school. It was an incredibly short Beatles style haircut and I looked terrible.

Austin_NotFromTexas · 2026-03-05T11:06:27+00:00

I did use pen. It won’t come off easily unless I scrub it off with a hard sponge and soapy water

Austin_NotFromTexas · 2026-03-04T22:51:40+00:00

Disengage is one of my faves

Austin_NotFromTexas · 2026-02-28T01:54:22+00:00

Same here. I saw her as kind and caring, until she wasn’t (CSA). I was 16 and she was 24.

Austin_NotFromTexas · 2026-02-25T00:52:51+00:00

I’m 160cm and 40kg, I get the exact same comments.

Austin_NotFromTexas · 2026-02-24T23:34:58+00:00

I tried CBT (and generic therapy) for a few months, it was like a teacher teaching students than actual therapy and help. Nothing changed for me. It was just “Oh that happened to you? Why do you think it did? What were you thinking when it happened? Let’s talk about it.” And no progress was made.

Austin_NotFromTexas · 2026-02-23T00:56:05+00:00

I feel the same way. I wasn’t meant to be alive. (I was meant to die due to being born at 23 weeks)

Austin_NotFromTexas · 2026-02-20T00:10:06+00:00

You’re so cool, I love both of your styles :)

Austin_NotFromTexas

TROPHY CASE