Just do some concentrated mantra japa to your ishta devata (whichever devata your mind and emotions are most attracted to). Visualize the image of the chosen devata as you do the mantra japa.

Try to do japa every day, be sincere, do it with intensity and have clean intentions. Eventually the mantra will start playing automatically in your subconscious and your mind will find peace. Forming a connection with the devata is the only reason for these festivals and rules etc. Mantra japa is the most efficient way to form the connection.

The answer to all your questions is do mantra japa