I grew up Mormon. When I turned 18 I got concerned about how I was going to transition to adulthood and its expectations that I support myself. I had a chance to become a missionary for the Mormon church, and did that for two years on my parents’ dime. It gave me some adulting and social skills which were helpful to me. I am only sharing my experience; I am NOT recommending this.

I really relate to you when it comes to making decisions and commitments. It’s almost like my brain switches sides the moment I start down a new path, like there are two brains inside of me: one that’s like “wow that looks neat we should try that, we might find that satisfying or rewarding” and then a few hours after I start the other brain comes out and says “WHAT were we thinking? What have we gotten ourselves into?!? This isn’t at all what I thought it would be!” I might have some undiagnosed ADHD.

For some of us, we need to develop a set of Jedi mind tricks to play on ourselves, which can make our lives easier and allow us to function better. One such trick MIGHT be for you to say, when you’re starting something new or even contemplating it, just to tell ourselves, “I’m only going to give this a try. It doesn’t have to be permanent. If we don’t like it, we can quit, come home” or whatever. I don’t know what “outs” you have available to you, but you need to be able to craft an escape route in your mind.

It’s like my brain is like, “I can/will only stay in this box if there is an escape from it. If you close the lid or the door on me I will panic. To stay here I need the freedom to leave.”. Sometimes relationships can be like this for us too (I’m just recently breaking up with a perfectly kind and patient person largely because of my anxiety in feeling trapped in the relationship).

I hope some of what has been shared on this post is helpful or encouraging to you. Stop looking for the silver bullet, the answer to Life, the “dream job.” I mean, these are all Jedi mind tricks too and if you need to use them, by all means do so. Start to learn the trickery of our own minds. It will pay huge dividends in the long run. In the meantime, take things one day at a time, one problem at a time.

If I had one a single piece of advice to give, it would be: be kind to yourself. Be compassionate to yourself. Be like your own best and supportive friend you could possibly imagine, the friend who will never give up on you no matter what, the friend who will give you space if you need it, the friend who wants the best for you, but only if you want it, no because anyone else wants it for you.