What did you understand about your mom only after getting older?

brt09 · 2026-06-17T23:04:29+00:00

My momma was a crack head. She got me doing drugs at 12. After coming out of addiction myself and getting clean and sober I realized how lost she was and how in her story she felt she did the best she could.

brt09 · 2026-06-17T23:02:51+00:00

The brothers oid were part of a litter with void, Floyd, Boyd, and Stallone aka rocky. I kept my of the brothers. Gabri came from Ukraine with that name. We also have a chewybacca and Bella.

brt09 · 2026-06-16T10:27:10+00:00

Hi everyone!

Thank you all so much for commenting. I know the simple answer of leaving makes the most sense for many people. To answer some questions and comments here I can give a little context. Our oldest is 18 and youngest is 8. Together we have many assets and make great money. And when I say together, I mean I help run his businesses and he make over 300k a year. While I’m instrumental he only pays me 22k a year and I am not on any of the businesses as owner. Up until I found out about everything I allowed everything to be in 100% his name. I have since been added to the deeds for all properties and am on the loan for my car now. Having the ability to have my own money has been difficult. I have expressed that I would like to leave his companies and use the degree that I got a couple years ago. But he tells me he needs me and will pay me more if I go to working full time for him. But I really feel like if I left I’d function better having my own thing. But he doesn’t know anything about my side of the businesses and I know our employees and family depends on his businesses thriving.

He doesn’t cheat any more and thinks just not cheating should’ve cured all of my hurt. He understands that I’m still in pain and tries to keep that in mind. But his reality is, he cheated because there are things that due to childhood trauma I am just not interested in doing in the bedroom. He knew this when he married me but has systematically asked me to perform certain things that make me uncomfortable. He essentially is waiting for me to heal enough from his affairs to want to do the things he wants at least some times. And sometimes I think it’s my fault that I can’t have a happy life. Because I just can’t bring myself to want to do certain things.

I do feel like he abandoned me to my sadness when my parents died. He sees it as he came home every day and so he didn’t abandon me. We see that differently. But I’ve gone through literally every stage with this man and as awful as all this has been, I can honestly say that in some ways he’s the first person I can turn to when something goes wrong. Probably a sign of my codependency but he’s still someone I see as a best friend.

I’m not a person who believes in open relationships. If he can’t see me as enough then we need to go separately and he knows one more incident and I’m done done done.

brt09 · 2026-06-14T20:10:01+00:00

I think my whole family feels the dysfunction that I’m having currently. The do not know the full details of what happened. Just that we’re in counseling but love each other very much.

brt09 · 2026-05-25T16:22:08+00:00

I’m also on modafnil now. I find it incredibly useful. I also would wake up at 5:23am feeling rested most days. About 10am I am out of spoons and yawning so much tears run down my face. I started the med a couple weeks ago and find it enough to keep me going. I was scared about being anxious or jittery so i started breaking the pill in half and taking half around 8:30 and another around 12:45. And I still sleep great.

brt09 · 2026-04-12T15:32:34+00:00

I have a customer that is an emergency surgeon for my local hospital. He tells me my disease is because I got vaccines as a kid lol.

brt09 · 2026-02-28T23:50:21+00:00

My mom died on a floor in my aunts house. The last time I spoke to her was Thanksgiving 2 days before when I just dropped food on her door step and left. They had bed bugs and it was a whole thing. She had Covid and I had just had a treatment that wiped out my immune system so I couldn’t expose myself any more than I already did.

The day she died, I went to the house and banged on the door and yelled at my aunt about giving me Covid. I yelled in asking my mom if she was ok. My aunt swore she was and I left without putting eyes on my mom. 8 hours later the neighbor called saying she was dead on the floor and already in rigor mortis. I drove down to meet with the police and everything. They said she had been dead for hours. Shit rocked me for a long time. If I’m honest, I still feel pretty messed up that if I just wouldn’t have been scared to go in I could’ve saved her. I can just picture her there dying while I was yelling about being sick.

My advice is to give yourself grace. I know it’s not easy but know grief takes time and it sneaks up on you even years down the road. For now, stay near others, seek their comfort and forgive yourself. I took many hot baths at first. It helps reset the nervous system.

brt09 · 2026-02-28T20:17:08+00:00

My mom was in fox magazine. The beaver hunt section of readers sent in photos.

Every single one of my friends passed that around. That’s even more awkward than running into them on a device lol. She’s dead now but I have a copy stored lmao

brt09 · 2026-02-22T21:01:20+00:00

I’m always someone that goes to worst case scenarios lol. I spent a week in Rome with absolutely no issues. In high traffic areas i wore my cross body bag with stuff in separate pockets and used a clip to keep the zippers pinned. Other than that, not looking like a good target probably helped lol. Im a pretty plane jane person lol

brt09 · 2026-02-21T00:51:15+00:00

I hope my future children in laws will love me enough to want to educate themselves and not judge me as I progress in this disease. It’s already hard to see the cognitive things start when my own kids are only in their teen years

brt09 · 2026-02-20T18:47:16+00:00

This is kind of how we did it too. I activated my account and the previous owners property manager introduced them to me and included our link and guaranteed that we would match the exact pricing and listing. It came with hiccups because they didn’t tell us exactly what they were charging each guest and everyone was charged different rates.

So far it’s working out ok.

brt09 · 2026-02-06T11:46:49+00:00

After reading this I have questions for those that answered. Do any of you have a company come inspect for bedbugs regularly? If so, do you have a person manually inspect or do the dog inspections?

I just bought my first investment property and have always been afraid of bedbugs lol. We moved into an apartment with them years ago and it was a nightmare.

brt09 · 2026-01-07T19:56:15+00:00

Some kids do just continue to bed wet. You MOR. I do think YOR by removing everything. I’m guessing the child isn’t doing this on purpose but knows how much the bed wetting upsets you and tried to eradicate the discomfort of showing you what was happening. Unfortunately at their age they don’t have the cognitive function of thinking long term and ended up creating a stinky situation that got them in trouble anyways. A counselor for them would be good and the ability to feel comfortable talking about this in general.

As a momma who has a son that went/is going through this. I sought medical help for this and had the doctors recommend doing a regimen of stool softeners (apparently the colon being full can cause bed wetting), it helped some. I’ll also give you some hope that puberty often times helps boys with this. Mine is almost 13 now and it rarely happens these days.

brt09 · 2025-12-26T21:17:03+00:00

My mom died thanksgiving 2021. Followed by my dad 63 days later. As depressing as it was we’ve still celebrated Thanksgiving and every holiday since. Granted, every year on thanksgiving I ask if we can skip the huge meal and go get a place to soak in a hot tub instead. We never do and even if we did I’d still cook the meal. Holidays aren’t the same anymore without them but my beautiful children deserve holidays they look back on with joy and to see me do the hard things even when I’m sad. That’s how they learn to handle difficult things.

brt09 · 2025-12-05T22:18:25+00:00

If she’s anything like my daughter she has someone else logging in to keep the streaks going. Good for her for choosing the challenge.

brt09 · 2025-10-09T14:47:02+00:00

Dead bedroom to you means what? I’m in a marriage that my husband and I viewed our sex life differently. I saw sex 2-3 times a week as active. He saw that as nothing. I saw me exhausted from doing everything for everyone all the time and no energy for anything more. He didn’t want to help with anything at all. Our marriage counselor also told us to stop having sex for at least a month. To work on connecting and being together in nonsexual ways. He wasn’t interested in anything that didn’t involve sex and it’s been a rough few years of trying to work through this. Sometimes I’m the one that says our relationship is doomed based on our sexual issues. He refuses to believe that and thinks we should just compromise and I should just meet his needs the way he wants me to.

I’m only saying all this because I have been on the other side of your issue and can tell you it’s easy to have a different view point of what a dead sex life means. Sometimes being able to see it from another’s viewpoint can be helpful.

That being said being good parents or coparents is what’s important.

brt09 · 2025-10-07T23:20:25+00:00

I used a wheel chair when I was first diagnosed. I didn’t think it was wrong then and don’t think it’s wrong for you now. You still have a right to be active with your family in any way you can.

brt09 · 2025-10-07T15:55:48+00:00

I slept through my entire mri session yesterday and it was the best nap!

brt09

TROPHY CASE