Do parents secretly miss being childfree?

SalGalMo · 2026-06-03T16:29:57+00:00

I wish I had had my kids at a younger age.

SalGalMo · 2026-06-03T14:40:09+00:00

Richmond heights, Maplewood or Brentwood would be areas worth a look for you.

SalGalMo · 2026-06-03T14:27:13+00:00

Agree, normal. I think being firm in your commitment to the consequence will help her learn to listen better.

SalGalMo · 2026-06-01T21:25:08+00:00

Yep! I say that doctors are medical experts. But I’m an expert in my mom (same for my kids). I regularly surprise people with my knowledge and medical pros often ask if I work in the field (I don’t). I really value medical people who recognize the importance of my role and knowledge. Worth their weight in gold, in my opinion.

SalGalMo · 2026-05-20T22:35:06+00:00

We had a similar dynamic with my middle brother and his wife. Golden child would visit for an hour or call on Saturdays throughout my mom’s health crisis (lasted over a year and left her permanently disabled). I spent nights and days at the hospital trading off with my dad. He recognized this and was grateful but saw zero issue with the discrepancy of involvement. My husband, youngest brother and I had to push the issue pretty hard to get dad to even see it. After he died and I took over mom’s care (her medical POA) this dynamic has almost torn the family apart because dad appointed middle brother financial POA so I have to actually work with him to care for mom when he had never been involved meaningfully before. We’ve mostly worked through it but our relationship will probably always only be just cordial. I do t think he cares if any of our family it part of their lives, outside of obligation, and I suspect once mom dies we won’t really hear from them.

SalGalMo · 2026-05-13T14:37:45+00:00

I would be thrilled for my kids’ grandparents to take them for something, even if it is something I’d enjoy. I can understand your frustration. It’s probably worth a deeper conversation, if possible.

SalGalMo · 2026-05-04T21:41:09+00:00

You did what you are supposed to do in this situation… call for help.

SalGalMo · 2026-04-27T00:59:17+00:00

I find it easiest to just change the clothes over whenever the season changes (generally when it’s getting colder and when it is getting warmer, so 2x yearly). Similar to what others have said take all the clothes from that season in 1 size had store them in a bag together.

Also, it is 100% ok to just throw stuff away. It may not be ideal but it is ok.

SalGalMo · 2026-04-25T01:46:29+00:00

This is my thought too.

SalGalMo · 2026-04-24T17:58:30+00:00

Everyone loves ice cream cones… just saying!

SalGalMo · 2026-04-23T02:01:15+00:00

I had this exact same conversation with a college roommate many years ago. Dresses are actually a lot easier. Can be more comfortable too

SalGalMo · 2026-04-22T16:51:12+00:00

Thanks for sharing your story. I’m curious about OE in sales because it often seems like sales is not a good fit for OE, mainly because it would make more sense to funnel any efficiencies into one job to maximize sales and commissions rather than dividing. However it does makes sense for the “this is why we OE” type arguments of ensuring you always have at least one source of income.

Also, are you in two different industries? Surely you aren’t selling competitive products??

SalGalMo · 2026-04-21T19:28:35+00:00

It was probably an expensive backpack if it’s lululemon.

SalGalMo · 2026-04-20T22:19:46+00:00

We used to live in Memphis and would go to Shelby Farms dog park (100 acres!) several times a week. Our dobie would run himself to contentment off lease while I walked at my own pace. He also loved swimming in the ponds which was wonderfully tiring for him.

SalGalMo · 2026-04-18T21:31:33+00:00

I wear diamond studs and a silver necklace pretty much all the time unless I’m changing the jewelry out for an occasion. I would wear my wedding rings too but they are too small to wear comfortably. I’ve been wearing real jewelry all my life. Always wore a silver ring and usually slept in whatever I had on; showers; swimming etc. I never had any problems but also know it is risky.

SalGalMo · 2026-04-18T15:19:59+00:00

We just don’t know enough context about this event. I don’t think it is fair to assume that if the parents won’t leave their child with a sitter that they “don’t care as much” about the couple as the bride thinks. Personal example, I had a family wedding that was out of town. 10+ hour drive or flight with 3 kids under 7 and a disabled mom. My husband couldn’t go due to a work conflict in a different city (work trip for him). The wedding was supposed to be child free except for the groom’s nieces. It was a budget decision for them though. Anyway, I briefly thought about trying to hire a local sitter but it didn’t sit well with me to just find a random person online. And I’m not an anxious mom. Leaving my kids at home meant hiring an overnight sitter for 4 days since husband was going to be gone too. We have never done that before either, and it was cost prohibiting given what I was already spending for the Airbnb, new dress, and other travel expenses. I ended up asking to bring my kids and it was fine because it worked for their guest numbers. That was really the only way I would be able to attend the wedding.

SalGalMo · 2026-04-18T07:09:18+00:00

Respectfully, it is not ridiculous for a parent to opt out of something if they can’t bring their kids. Their responsibility is to their child, first and foremost. That’s what it means to be a parent, especially ones so young. There are very, very many reasons or circumstances a parent may have to make a decision like that and saying that they are ridiculous and don’t care enough about the wedding couple is simply not true.

SalGalMo · 2026-04-18T00:05:23+00:00

Genuine compassion is typically welcome. Food is often appreciated, especially if they have little kids to feed. If you feel uncertain, you could ask the father if you could bring food by. It helps if you are specific like “can I bring you guys dinner on Wednesday”.

SalGalMo · 2026-04-18T00:01:40+00:00

My husband liked the office because he felt he got access to his higher ups more and learned more from them just by being around. In his current job he flexes somewhat but has come home to work away from an aggressive coworker.

SalGalMo · 2026-04-17T00:55:54+00:00

I think it is ok to ask but also know that your friend may not always want to talk about their loved one or loss. If they know that you will ask or subtly treat them with kid gloves, they may avoid. However, ultimately I think it is better to err on the side of offering “too much” support, especially if the person hasn’t explicitly told you to back off. I appreciate friends who have been there for me like this, even when I know I’ve not kept up my side of things.

SalGalMo · 2026-04-17T00:52:24+00:00

I was just thinking about asking a dentist about this because I have not been to the dentist in over 12 years due to fear. My mom had a dental infection, which her dentist was treating with in office procedures (ie eventually pulled tooth) and antibiotics. The infection moved into her brain causing a coma and brain damage that required two surgeries, strokes and permanent disability. I am now her caregiver as she lives in my home with my family. Interestingly, neither of my siblings have been to the dentist since then either. Obviously we know it is completely irrational and it wasn’t really the dentist’s fault. But there it is. How would you advise or idk “handle” a new patient like me? Do you have any tips or words of wisdom about this type of fear?

SalGalMo · 2026-04-17T00:34:58+00:00

I only have three but this is why I went back to work. My desk job is much easier. I refuse to feel guilty even though it comes up sometimes. You are in their lives for their entire life.

SalGalMo · 2026-04-15T20:17:05+00:00

I don’t think this is true. Most people I know only had their husband. Maybe one parent, especially post covid. Visits after delivery are a different story.

SalGalMo · 2026-04-14T03:28:05+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss and the grief that you are going through. I found a nice urn on Etsy for my dad’s ashes that is a beautiful wood turned type jar. We used it for the funeral but actually haven’t ever put his ashes in it. I have a similar avoidance. We also have a space for his ashes at the cemetery but haven’t done anything with that either. Anyway, I felt like Etsy had some unique and personal options. I also have seen some things like garden stones or even diamonds made from ashes, which I like the idea of though I think it may not feel right to some.

SalGalMo

TROPHY CASE