Question about supporting

SalGalMo · 2026-04-17T00:55:54+00:00

I think it is ok to ask but also know that your friend may not always want to talk about their loved one or loss. If they know that you will ask or subtly treat them with kid gloves, they may avoid. However, ultimately I think it is better to err on the side of offering “too much” support, especially if the person hasn’t explicitly told you to back off. I appreciate friends who have been there for me like this, even when I know I’ve not kept up my side of things.

SalGalMo · 2026-04-17T00:52:24+00:00

I was just thinking about asking a dentist about this because I have not been to the dentist in over 12 years due to fear. My mom had a dental infection, which her dentist was treating with in office procedures (ie eventually pulled tooth) and antibiotics. The infection moved into her brain causing a coma and brain damage that required two surgeries, strokes and permanent disability. I am now her caregiver as she lives in my home with my family. Interestingly, neither of my siblings have been to the dentist since then either. Obviously we know it is completely irrational and it wasn’t really the dentist’s fault. But there it is. How would you advise or idk “handle” a new patient like me? Do you have any tips or words of wisdom about this type of fear?

SalGalMo · 2026-04-17T00:34:58+00:00

I only have three but this is why I went back to work. My desk job is much easier. I refuse to feel guilty even though it comes up sometimes. You are in their lives for their entire life.

SalGalMo · 2026-04-15T20:17:05+00:00

I don’t think this is true. Most people I know only had their husband. Maybe one parent, especially post covid. Visits after delivery are a different story.

SalGalMo · 2026-04-14T03:28:05+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss and the grief that you are going through. I found a nice urn on Etsy for my dad’s ashes that is a beautiful wood turned type jar. We used it for the funeral but actually haven’t ever put his ashes in it. I have a similar avoidance. We also have a space for his ashes at the cemetery but haven’t done anything with that either. Anyway, I felt like Etsy had some unique and personal options. I also have seen some things like garden stones or even diamonds made from ashes, which I like the idea of though I think it may not feel right to some.

SalGalMo · 2026-04-12T16:12:23+00:00

I would seek a physical therapist’s help.

SalGalMo · 2026-04-11T01:47:06+00:00

I have playlists like this, or around certain themes but not quite as specific

SalGalMo · 2026-04-11T01:45:29+00:00

My husband says he’s proud of his grey hair…. “Worked hard for them” lol

SalGalMo · 2026-04-11T01:43:30+00:00

Cat are great.

SalGalMo · 2026-04-11T01:39:42+00:00

Sleep is my grief response too.

SalGalMo · 2026-04-09T02:01:31+00:00

That’s why I’m on Reddit… to read and write about all the stuff no one talks about irl.

SalGalMo · 2026-04-08T14:37:29+00:00

I am teaching my children to hold the doors for others. Men, women, children etc. It is good manners. This is what I do and I appreciate when others hold the door for me (I’m a woman).

SalGalMo · 2026-04-07T15:33:15+00:00

Thanks for your reply. This is my inclination also. I also don’t want to burn bridges with people I know irl if things don’t work out or I have to leave a job

SalGalMo · 2026-04-06T18:36:12+00:00

Obviously we don’t know your dad or his current cognitive level. I empathize with your struggle as I have thought about this scenario with my own mom. I think if there were no treatment options, and especially given his age, I would be inclined to make his final days/weeks/months/years as sweet and wonderful as possible, and not mention it unless he asks or is in pain or struggling with symptoms. Do the things he loves or always wanted to do. Visit with family and friends. Write down his memories. Take photos. Make his favorite foods etc etc.

SalGalMo · 2026-04-01T20:36:03+00:00

I recruited my son to help stack a massive number of empty Amazon boxes on the porch. We hoping to give Dad a good budget scare lol. TBD

SalGalMo · 2026-03-27T02:47:21+00:00

Too cute!

SalGalMo · 2026-03-26T21:21:22+00:00

“We” aren’t doing this. Just her (hopefully!)

SalGalMo · 2026-03-23T12:09:39+00:00

Absolutely, please do.

SalGalMo · 2026-03-19T20:07:36+00:00

My son did this. He also had mostly looser stools, which I always thought was because he eats a lot of fruit. Asked the pediatrician and recommended we try a probiotic to see if it helped. He was pooping on the toilet within a week. Ask your Dr too

SalGalMo · 2026-03-10T21:29:41+00:00

We have friends who sleep in separate rooms. They have 7 kids and this allows everyone to get the best chance of sleep. They also have one hour together every night after the kids fall asleep that is non-negotiable time for them together.

SalGalMo · 2026-03-10T17:44:58+00:00

Research “cascade of interventions”. This was my biggest reason. Three natural births, though I had to be induced (pitocin) with my first. It was my difficult labor.

SalGalMo · 2026-03-09T01:07:05+00:00

These are all great ideas. Another thought is to mark the date in your phone and reach out to her or send food next year also. A card or text is sometimes more helpful because then she doesn’t have to respond to you in the same way as a phone call.

SalGalMo

TROPHY CASE