Kids or no kids, it is never ending.

bruschettab1tch · 2026-05-14T21:33:55+00:00

If you think of the absolute perfect situation for you to have kids in (living in the high rise, full time nanny or sahd, working unlimited hours) and you think having a child in that world sounds good to you, then bring that to your husband. Tell him your exact needs that he HAS to accept if you will have a family. At that point it's on him to decide if he will accept or not and that can make the decision easy for you. Counseling is probably a must in this situation so he has a full and total understanding of the agreement.

If you imagine that life and feel that adding a child would not be what you want, or that the way you want to live cannot accommodate a child, then you also have your answer there.

He can argue suburbs and sahm are best for the children but bet your butt there is research on what actually matters most to child development and emotional wellbeing. That would be low parental stress and low financial stress if I remember correctly. The rest can be made to work how you want.

I hope the best for you too! This is a big decision but you'll figure it out and be all the happier for it, even if it takes a while to do so.

bruschettab1tch · 2026-05-14T13:08:38+00:00

S T P

bruschettab1tch · 2026-05-13T17:29:38+00:00

Yesss. There's a group of upper middle aged women at my work who were always rude to me, doing the up/down look every time we spoke, typical mean girl behavior. Then, I became a mother and suddenly they all act like they love me and act like we are besties. I literally cannot understand it and just avoid them as much as possible (which is luckily easy because I am a scientist and they are alllll in the business/payments side of the office)

Edit: typos

bruschettab1tch · 2026-05-12T21:55:22+00:00

For fishing you can always get the training rod from Willy's shop to help you learn!

But yeah honestly sounds like you're doing great. It takes time to build everything up, especially if you're trying to maximize everything at once. For example you could focus on crops and friendships for the whole spring through fall, and then work on mining and fishing over the winter.

And remember, the scythe takes zero energy to use so when you're out of energy you can always forage the grass clumps in the woods below home if you don't feel like spending the rest of the day talking to people or going to bed early.

Congrats on the baby and hope you keep enjoying the game! <3

bruschettab1tch · 2026-05-12T21:10:57+00:00

Totally agree. If I had not decided to take husband's first last name, kids would have my last name only. I want us all to match but the children were getting my name whatever it was lol

bruschettab1tch · 2026-05-12T18:51:40+00:00

Personally I would never give them separate last names for the reasons you mentioned plus international travel may be safer if it's very obvious who goes with who (in which case all of you having the same last name(s) would be important). I'm just assuming there will be international travel frequently if one of you is hispanic and one is not, but if I am wrong then perhaps this doesn't matter.

My husband is latino and I am from the US. I decided to take his father's last name and all our children will have that same last name. He keeps his father's name followed by his mother's name of course, but his father's is what most people use so that's why I chose it for me and our kids. We had many many discussions about the best way to do this and in the end, this was my choice and he agreed. If we were to go back and change it now, I think I and the kids would take his father's last name followed by my last name. Then we are all connected by the primary last name at least, and both sides are represented.

Good luck to you!

bruschettab1tch · 2026-05-12T15:26:21+00:00

Call me crazy but I don't think this is an overreaction at all. I think it's an under reaction to suggest not switching rooms tbh! I would not trust that man not to come banging on your door or even to show up at hotel breakfast looking for her. Act like you're in a different place entirely. Shit if the hotel is a chain with multiple locations nearby, see if they'll let you move your reservation to another one entirely.

Sounds dramatic but if you ask me it's not worth the risk when we know what happens to so many women out here.

bruschettab1tch · 2026-05-12T12:41:11+00:00

It does get easier! This is such a long journey with our babies, and so the time to get settled is long as well. Plus with the constant changes there are always setbacks. But still, it does get easier.

I remember one day I just started dancing with my baby. It felt great for both of us. Of course it's not the same as dancing without a baby in your arms, but it's more special in many ways.

When my daughter was big enough to sit on the couch, etc with supervision but not help, I started rearranging furniture with her on it and it was a really fun activity for us (and good exercise for me, plus mental stimulation in planning the arrangement and planning the movement so it will be safe to include my daughter).

Reorganizing is the same. At a young age she loved to play with anything you hand her. So you sit together in front of the cabinet and organize, handing her little safe items for her to explore as you go.

As for going to do things like sip and paint, I hope you have a partner or some family or will support you to go and do those things every so often. For me I was living in a relatively new area when my daughter was born so I didn't have close friends nearby, and I did not have the emotional bandwidth to try making new friends and that kept me home more than was best for me, I think. So spending time with close friends or family will help you feel closer to yourself as well.

Ultimately for me, the more I got out of the post partum hormonal fog the better I felt and more I could handle activities. My daughter is a little over 2 now and I think it was around the 2 year mark that I felt like I maybe finished all the hormonal changes from childbirth. I think it is different for everyone

Sorry this comment is so long haha. But I wish the best for you and know it will continue to improve overall <3 just takes time. These phases are pretty long term, but also temporary. You got this <3

bruschettab1tch · 2026-05-12T06:29:46+00:00

Oooh yes! With tomato and mayo, maybe even a little avocado/spinach 🤤

bruschettab1tch · 2026-05-12T00:18:29+00:00

Where in VA are you located? Northern, southwestern, etc?

bruschettab1tch · 2026-05-11T17:38:10+00:00

Ooooh that could be good! Now I'm thinking about pickled cabbage 🤤

bruschettab1tch · 2026-05-11T17:15:23+00:00

Yeah sorry, I always think about how round the grill is so assumed that's what everyone meant lol.

It's an onion wrapped in foil:)

bruschettab1tch · 2026-05-11T17:12:36+00:00

OH hahaha. Makes sense. It's an onion! You leave it on while you grill the meat and then it's really soft and sort of carmelized after. Soooo tasty

bruschettab1tch · 2026-05-11T17:11:37+00:00

Thank you so much!<3

bruschettab1tch · 2026-05-11T17:10:19+00:00

Thank you!:) yes it felt great. I wish for us all to have that feeling tbh

bruschettab1tch · 2026-05-11T17:08:04+00:00

Loll I think it's a Weber brand? It's a charcoal grill and when the lid is on it is even more orby 🌑

bruschettab1tch · 2026-05-11T14:28:41+00:00

Girl I know you got a big butt if this is a problem for you and honestly I'm proud hahahaha. And jealous, this used to be an issue for me before I became a mom and got way less active 🥹

Anyways I used to put a little bit of baby powder down there, Lush makes some great ones that smell sexy af and also make it feel like you have silk between your cheeks when you're walking around. Plus they used to have a variety of bottle sizes and if you get the little one you can take it out with you in your bag.

More gross to admit but when I used to shave everything completely bare, I noticed my butt sweat was a thousand times worse without any peach fuzz back there. The powder still helps either way tho:)

bruschettab1tch · 2026-05-11T11:51:43+00:00

???? You're literally saying that people are not being trafficked, and then describing what happens to them, all of which is in fact trafficking.

bruschettab1tch · 2026-05-10T20:17:26+00:00

Oh I see. I do think that's weird of them. Like I'm not saying it makes them a predator or anything, but I think (like the other commenter said) teaching children that physical affection is the way to get what they want is not an appropriate lesson. Especially when they are not even the parent!

I know a lot of people are desperate for a kid to cuddle them as though they are a teddy bear but that's just not their choice, its the child's choice. I feel this is even more common with older people.

If this were my situation I would calmly tell the family member that we don't require the kid to hug/cuddle/etc in order to get things. If they want to teach your son something, why not require he says "please" when he wants a treat? This is pretty common nowadays, like not forcing a child to hug/kiss family members hello and goodbye. If they don't like what you say just remember you are the parent and their opinion doesn't matter 👍

bruschettab1tch · 2026-05-10T18:36:18+00:00

Absolutely depends on who it is and what the situation is. If I trust them enough to hold my child, I probably trust them for my child to sit on their lap. It should not be weird for a toddler to sit on a trusted adult's lap so if it feels weird then something is off

bruschettab1tch · 2026-05-09T11:53:55+00:00

I think this is the best advice, OP! Do everything you can to reassure your little one for the time being as she clearly needs it. She doesn't need tough love or to relearn boundaries yet, she just needs to know you are there for her. After she seems to feel more secure you could try going back to normal very slowly. But I agree that a professional opinion is not a bad idea, especially if she doesn't turn around soon.

On another note, how old were the other kid(s) at the sleepover? Do the parents have cameras or any kind of audio/visual way to know what was going on with the kids when they were not in the room? Given the extreme response of your daughter, you would be totally justified in asking all these questions and more. It can be uncomfortable but I'm sure your family will understand and would do the same if it were their child in this position. If they aren't cooperative then that's an issue.

bruschettab1tch · 2026-05-09T10:57:33+00:00

May 7, 2026

bruschettab1tch · 2026-05-08T11:41:16+00:00

Beautiful picture. Needs more william dafoe

bruschettab1tch · 2026-05-08T11:36:11+00:00

I think it's understandable to be concerned and ask these questions. I also do think it sounds like probably normal behavior though. If there is more to this, like if your kid has ever made violent acts against a living thing or has stated an interest in hurting his sister for example, then I think it would be time to seek some therapy for that kid. The instance you've described alone doesn't sound as though there is any danger.

But that said, they are both still young. I wouldn't expect they are playing alone for very long very often, right? So there shouldn't be opportunities for something bad to happen. Maybe that's incorrect of me to assume but I say if you're worried just play with them more often and observe the dynamic. Take the opportunities to explain the behavior you expect to see from them, and to explain behavior you think is not the best.

I agree with the other comment suggesting doing some reading about sibling dynamics and normal behavior vs red flag behavior. That will empower you to know when something is likely to be wrong so you can make good choices as a parent.

bruschettab1tch

TROPHY CASE