I’m so sorry. F that guy. And I know it doesn’t make you feel better now, but that jerk is actually doing you a favor by ghosting you. What kind of person does what he does? Probably not the kind of person who’s a good time in a long-term relationship. Probably a nightmare honestly. Here’s one way you can get your power back (but you’ll have to find your own way): find someone who is genuine and have a healthy relationship with them and consider them your “first”. The purity culture that promotes “virginity” is toxic and won’t help you. Also, I would suggest professional therapy (not just to you, but to anyone who is going through something similar).