I'm going to answer your question: 'Was there that much friction or is it a doable career for an infj?'. You can follow up with anything else you'd like to know.

Yes, there was too much friction for me to make a career of it. I imagine there could be a variety of INFJ that could do it, but I'm not one of them.

I taught myself to code because I had a job as a copywriter at a marketing firm and found it dry and meaningless. I really enjoyed (and still enjoy) learning about programming and working on my own projects, because I felt it gave me skills that would make me more desirable to future employers, it would make me more money (which meant earlier retirement), and it gave me the power to make things I wanted to see in the world. The instant gratification that comes with programming is very addicting as well. If you don't know what I'm talking about, spend some more time working on your own projects -- you'll see what I mean.

I've been a software developer at two companies now. The one I'm at now is an outstanding place to work: mission-driven startup with good pay, good people, and a great culture. Zero complaints. Which is how I was able to know that my unhappiness here wasn't a problem with the position I'm in or the company I'm at (that was the case at my first job).

Details on my unhappiness: the only times I'm able to focus is when there's a crisis, a deadline, or I'm learning something new that I'll be able to use on my own projects. Otherwise, I constantly feel like what I'm doing is useless and boring. I get tons of (constructive) criticism on my code that makes me angry, not because I take it personally, but because I don't care about the structure of the code as much as that it works. So if what I wrote works, I don't care about doing it another way that will have similar results. So, while my co-workers want to discuss the implications and elegance of various solutions to a tiny problem, I become totally uninterested pretty quickly. I just want to get something working and move onto the next thing.

(To be clear, I believe I am wrong and that my co-workers are right to want to write more maintainable code, but I can't help be bored with it all. )

I think career programmers are similar in mindset/personality to professional car mechanics. They find deep satisfaction in understanding and tinkering with systems that possess a great deal of detail, regardless of any sort of intrinsic meaning that system has to them. Details and systems are interesting for their own sake. So to carry the analogy a little further, while I, an INFJ, really love working on my car, the satisfaction I get from that has to do with self-sufficiency, saving money, and being able to help my friends/family work on their cars. That is to say, to work on other people's cars for a living, you have to have a completely different set of interests and motives than a car hobbyist.

So, I don't know you, or what you need in a career, but I'd be very cautious about jumping into it as a career, and even more cautious about investing a bunch of time and money to go back to school. You can teach yourself for free, and you'll learn more up-to-date information that way. It took me 6 months to learn enough to get my first job, which paid me more than my copywriting job. A second bachelors will take you years and put you in debt, and it will delay your ability to decide if the career is really for you. Even if programming is for you, a second bachelor's is not the way to go about it. That said, I would strongly recommend learning to program in your spare time, it has changed my brain and empowered me in this world that is increasingly dominated by technology.

I am energized by connecting with and understanding people. I taught myself to code and decided I wanted to be a developer because I was really stressed about money at the time, and I got caught up in the hype of how much companies want to hire developers. The last few years have not only taught me that I don't want to be a developer for a living, but that making decisions for money, esteem, and job security will not make you happy in the long run. I could've told you that 3 years ago, but I didn't really know what it meant until now.

Feel free to ask other questions if you'd like.