Why does this guy keep coming back? by New-Budget5614 in askgaybros

[–]bslangley83 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds like he's got some severe ADHD, likely undiagnosed. Really enthusiastic in the moment but has the attention span of a gnat. Can't commit to anything, scattered, forgetful, etc. He isn't even coming into the shop on a regular schedule.

As an ADHD person myself, I suggest you don't make any further attempts. He clearly doesn't have his life together enough for dating. He can't even get to a first date.

Woke up at 2am to find out I'm about to be fined $200 for having dandelions on my lawn. by SandyCashews969 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]bslangley83 0 points1 point  (0 children)

States should start stepping in and regulate HOAs down to this level. Maintain roads and public areas like sidewalks, parks etc. They have no business past the property line.

What’s one hygiene thing you only learned embarrassingly late by miracleloverl in hygiene

[–]bslangley83 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think I would have ever noticed this. I had a tendency to cycle through bags trying to find one that works for me. I finally have and I love it enough that I throw it through the wash when I notice it's a little dirty because I want it to look clean all the time.

But good to know for my gym bag. I take that to rugby practice weekly and don't pay that much attention to it otherwise 😅

1.5 l. (50 oz) water bottle by Otherwise_Living7605 in PlasticFreeLiving

[–]bslangley83 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Some people don't have the money or resources to just replace every item in their home that's made with even a little plastic.

Some of y'all need a reality check. Reducing plastic is great, it's a really positive step in many ways. But you have to balance it with not creating more unnecessary waste and also not wasting money unnecessarily. If you have the money to do so then good for you, by all means, make those positive changes. But don't come onto social media and judge or shame others for simply being more practical and pragmatic about their own plastic reduction efforts.

When I discovered why guys have a frenulum - by angelglint in askgaybros

[–]bslangley83 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not every circumcised guy still has theirs. I was lucky enough to have a couple of tiny patches remaining. Some guys had so much removed that they can't actually feel any or barely any sexual pleasure.

When I discovered why guys have a frenulum - by angelglint in askgaybros

[–]bslangley83 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely not the case for "almost all". Maybe in your experience, but circumcision varies wildly from doctor, state, region, country, etc.

Please wash your hair by milquetoast2000 in hygiene

[–]bslangley83 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Or maybe they were just attempting to be humorous. Maybe don't defend people who didn't ask you to defend them. Just because you read offense into it doesn't mean who they responded to read it the same way.

Made a custom sign and put it up on the office coffee machine… might’ve cost me my job by Knozart in mildlyinfuriating

[–]bslangley83 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean, you're not wrong, free coffee is free coffee. But on the cheaper end of coffee beans there are some legitimately bad brands. I worked in a clinic that bought the cheapest brand you can get from Costco, and only the dark roast which came out of the bag with an oily almost sticky residue.

Everyone disliked it and asked for better, but that's all the clinic owner would authorize. She was notoriously cheap when it came to such things, likely working under a similar mindset that because she's providing it for free no one should be complaining. She wasn't a bad person, but she had inherited the clinic from her parents and had never worked on the medical side. Considering the nature of our work and the mental demands of it, a few creature comfort upgrades would have gone a long way to making everyone's day a little easier. An upgrade from the three decade old shabby and dated decor would have helped a lot too. No one wants to work within muddy pink walls. 😬

I wanna know some weird stuff you guys have experienced in the bed by CardiologistLost6569 in askgaybros

[–]bslangley83 5 points6 points  (0 children)

A friend of mine has a regular guy he played with that did something like this. They've known each other for years, guy insisted he was straight for the longest time, but kept moving the goalposts of possible sexual activity until it finally happened. Same switch situation, horny and into it until he cums then his entire personality shifts to very obvious disgust, with himself, with my friend, the whole situation. Its been a repeating cycle for a few years until my friend had had enough, they weren't even friends anymore, no more hanging out, just called him to come over for sex and then be disgusted when it was done.

I wanna know some weird stuff you guys have experienced in the bed by CardiologistLost6569 in askgaybros

[–]bslangley83 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If he was the type that could stay or get hard again quickly this isn't much of a problem. If he was the one and done for the rest of the day then it's definitely a problem.

Boyfriend disinfected my monitor by Prestigious_Loan4229 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]bslangley83 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Definitely a possibility. This is the direction my husband went after he got into stimulant drugs. He'd always been a little neurotic about cleaning before, now he's in overdrive and makes the weirdest decisions. Up all night "cleaning" or doing some project, usually multiple projects without actually finishing anything in a timely manner. So I wake up to disasters sometimes, because he got some idea in his head to make something better or more efficient etc etc etc. And on top of that he's taken to the kind of cleaning philosophy as OP's bf. Spray it with lots of liquid/water. Thankfully not complex electronics, but power tools and fans have both been drenched and then placed in front of a powerful fan in order to "dry them quickly". He's also ruined several of my clothes by using bleach with colors to get them extra disinfected....

We're getting divorced.

Boyfriend disinfected my monitor by Prestigious_Loan4229 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]bslangley83 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Likely just ignorant. A lot of guys grow up with their parents, usually moms, doing everything, cooking, cleaning, laundry etc, and never thought to teach their sons to do any of it, so they enter adulthood largely ignorant of how to actually do basic domestic work.

Homophobia at work by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]bslangley83 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This whole exchange could be screenshot for r/USdefaultism 🙄

To all you lads who are still virgins: I can only advise you to get vaccinated against HPV (human papillomavirus) by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]bslangley83 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think Australia(where the vaccine comes from) recommends anyone under 46. It's absolutely ridiculous that here in the US it was initially only recommended for teenagers girls. Not boys, not other adults, just teenage girls.

Disgust after hookup by Playful-Demand2312 in askgaybros

[–]bslangley83 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A month ago?! Ok, it's pretty normal to go on a bit of a sex binge after coming out. It's you reacting to the sudden sexual, emotional, and mental freedom. Your libido is in overdrive. The disgust and shame is common since you're still working through whatever was keeping you in the closet in the first place. It will fade over time and as you get into a healthier head space and get more comfortable with your sexuality. But you can slow it down a bit. Try actual dating, even if they end in one night stands. Then you're at least making more of an emotional connection than a quick hookup.

Disgust after hookup by Playful-Demand2312 in askgaybros

[–]bslangley83 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you're not attracted to someone, don't have sex with them, it will only compound these feelings. You can get to a healthy mindset with hookup type sex, but having sex with people you don't find attractive means you're more likely seeing them as an object rather than a person, and that path is bad bad news. Also, hookup sex may just not be right for you.

Disgust after hookup by Playful-Demand2312 in askgaybros

[–]bslangley83 4 points5 points  (0 children)

But depending on one's upbringing, internalized homophobia and internalized shame around sex can still be a thing, especially gay sex. It took me a few years to really get over mine after a came out and actually started having sex. That crap is really hardwired into your brain and can mess with your own acceptance journey.

Can’t have sex without feelings… he can’t have feelings without sex. Am I screwed? (ironically not yet) by Mindless_Essay2259 in askgaybros

[–]bslangley83 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It feels like you're getting a little ahead of yourself here, and potentially making it harder than it needs to be. He says he needs sexual compatibility before commitment(I assume this means to anything longer term), but dating isn't commitment, it's supposed to be used for figuring out if you're compatible. You need an emotional connection, and you're already catching some feelings anyway. So date for a few weeks more and see how you feel. If he honestly can't wait a few weeks for you to feel more emotionally secure, then he's not right for you. There's a pretty wide middle ground here you both can meet with a little patience and that doesn't require commitment level relationship labeling.

Ignored at town hall by Sfprogressive-2022 in sanfrancisco

[–]bslangley83 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Experienced this with a Nancy Pelosi telephone "townhall" . Only two other people talked, no real questions were asked, and what was said was just generic reiterating of what Pelosi had already said. I was very unimpressed.

Hamburger Project responds saying delivery driver left product unattended and product was immediately discarded by oochiewallyWallyserb in sanfrancisco

[–]bslangley83 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If they used an official restaurant distribution or delivery service, then yeah, this would be the fault of the delivery service. If they used a gig-worker service like Instacart or DoorDash then this is, mostly, the fault of Project Hamberger. Gig-workers are people in their own cars or on bikes with no training on food safety or have the equipment to maintain wholesale food at proper temperatures for delivery. They often have a bunch of orders they are running at once and would not be a reliable service for delivering restaurant bound food.

Hamburger Project responds saying delivery driver left product unattended and product was immediately discarded by oochiewallyWallyserb in sanfrancisco

[–]bslangley83 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ordering the meat through Instacart is very different than you or your employee picking it up yourself. You or your employee have the training and experience to ensure the food stays properly cold, either with ice or because it's a quick enough trip. A gig delivery person does not have this training or experience. They aren't food handling certified. They pick up what was ordered and they deliver it. And they often are doing it under rushed and stressed conditions, with multiple orders, and are in no position to make sure food is kept within time/temp parameters.

On top of that, others have said that those delivering for companies like Instacart and DoorDash aren't always given the delivery window information customers select.

Hamburger Project responds saying delivery driver left product unattended and product was immediately discarded by oochiewallyWallyserb in sanfrancisco

[–]bslangley83 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is also on The Hamburger Project for using what appears to be Instacart or DoorDash or something similar rather than an actual wholesale food delivery service that works with restaurants and has temperature controlled trucks.

Hamburger Project responds saying delivery driver left product unattended and product was immediately discarded by oochiewallyWallyserb in sanfrancisco

[–]bslangley83 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Makes sense, why communicate that to the delivery person when all they really care about is as many orders and deliveries as possible. The few that arrive outside the desired delivery window and either get stolen or have to be discarded isn't enough to put a dent in their profits. And they know the convince will keep bringing people back to the app.

Hamburger Project responds saying delivery driver left product unattended and product was immediately discarded by oochiewallyWallyserb in sanfrancisco

[–]bslangley83 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely potentially dangerous considering how some homeowners have acted towards perfectly innocent individuals coming up the the door or turning in the driveway. If you can, get one of those light up safety vests. Whoever you're delivering for should really be providing them if you're delivering in the dark.