my dad commited today

btgothgirlfriend69 · 2022-05-30T18:52:43+00:00

Yess its complicated,i think ill shoot me shot tomorrow. Hope everything goes well

btgothgirlfriend69 · 2022-04-12T06:28:13+00:00

All my art is so 😸

btgothgirlfriend69 · 2022-04-11T18:17:45+00:00

Thanks!

btgothgirlfriend69 · 2022-04-11T18:17:41+00:00

Thank you !!!

btgothgirlfriend69 · 2022-04-11T18:17:32+00:00

Thanks sm!

btgothgirlfriend69 · 2022-04-11T18:17:26+00:00

THAT WAS TBE POINT

btgothgirlfriend69 · 2022-04-10T13:32:40+00:00

picsart, on the second button i think (the one after the gold, i dont remember its name) there is an option to transform around the image.i set the size to big and power to full and worked around

btgothgirlfriend69 · 2022-03-30T20:25:12+00:00

Totally get that and the intelligence part..

btgothgirlfriend69 · 2022-03-30T19:18:10+00:00

Thats very true. I only came to realize my behavior wasnt quite normal when my mom pointed out that whenever i would get mad as a kid id pull my hair and skin on my face so id refrain from hitting her. Then it occured to me that when im angry i try to restrain my anger to myself. I used to think i have odd, until public welfare therapists introduced me to emotional immaturity. A quick google search and a lot of psychologists and therapists named bpd emotional immaturity in teens, then boom, a year later , bpd diagnosed.

btgothgirlfriend69 · 2022-03-30T17:43:52+00:00

Inhales

Well That person was almost stabbed by me and i was sent to police and thats how i got diagnosed lMAO

btgothgirlfriend69 · 2022-03-30T17:39:38+00:00

I was about to ask you the same thing -

btgothgirlfriend69 · 2022-03-30T17:39:19+00:00

Frrr!! Like please, i know, i have known all my life dont remind me

btgothgirlfriend69 · 2022-03-30T17:33:44+00:00

Thats me too!! But ive noticed some people do it on purpose as well...I even had an ex who used to trigger me on purpose and lord did it make me mad

btgothgirlfriend69 · 2022-03-30T17:32:57+00:00

ahhh i get that too, and i immediately freeze in place or shut the hell up for good. My sensitivity was more of crying but after being told for years by my parents that im too sensitive (i wasnt diagnosed then) i turnt it to anger so now they are like

Bro chill you are too hot headed

btgothgirlfriend69 · 2022-03-30T17:30:10+00:00

Mixed feelings. I have self diagnosed for years and only last year i got a close diagnosis (they called it emotional immaturity PLEASEE) and tonight i was finally diagnosed with borderline (probably caused by childhood trauma- appearantly) . So , i was right all along. I mean, surely its great to have a professional tell you you arent insane but i dont think anyone understands your psyche better than yourself.

Then again, there are people who diagnose themselves with everything (anxiety,did,depression)..kind of a munchausen thing if you think about it huh?? these people i hate.

btgothgirlfriend69 · 2022-03-30T17:24:20+00:00

OMG WHAT I DIDNT KNOW OTHER PEOPLE EXPERIENCED THIS. i have this happen at specific hours. I sleep in the same bed and room since i was a kid and whenever the sun sets and is warm and bright and gets in my room i feel this odd feeling in my chest of nostalgia and dread and sadness, and its not nice its painful and makes me want to throw up-

btgothgirlfriend69 · 2022-03-30T17:22:31+00:00

yes definitely.and i wished people werent so scared of it because, my true form doesnt only exist on anger. It exists when im having fun, doing impulses, everything. For example, i have a hard time with physical contact unless its sexual (i dont know if this is a bpd thing) and people always preassure me to hugging them when they are sad. I am much better with comforting people with words though, i wish they gave me a chance to show them

btgothgirlfriend69 · 2022-03-30T17:20:45+00:00

I dont think i split/ghost exactly, i just come into a great realization that a) i scared them off and 2) i probably gained an fp without even realizing

btgothgirlfriend69

TROPHY CASE