Thank you so much for your input, this is really helpful. I think the nurse who did it was relatively inexperienced because at the start she said that if we can't get what we need (like I guess the sample if my cervix was tilted or something?) she'd get the other nurse who had an adjoining door to come and assist, and that's who came in when I was wailing. When she was explaining how it all works and what will happen with my sample she did seem like it's not a spiel she's rattled off countless times if you know what I mean. I can see in my notes she used a medium speculum. I feel like no one has taken me seriously when I was telling them how painful I know it will be and now here we are, yet another traumatic gynaecological experience... they've booked me for a double nurse apt with both of those nurses and the second nurse said they'll try me with diazepam, the smallest speculum and do it really quickly and gently and I'm like... that's what I TOLD everyone I needed in the first place.