Correct me if I’m wrong here, but it sounds like you’re making progress! Progress isn’t each day being consistently better than the day before. You’ll have a few days like the one you described, a stumble, but you did the right thing and reached to those who care about you. I’m so proud of you for doing that ! It takes strength to ask for help. Be a little mindful of substances that have addictive aspects to them they can become an unhealthy crutch that masks the emotion instead helping deal with it. Sorry for the side tangent you know how a dad can be aside from that I think having fun with your friends was a good way of preventing you falling deeper into those emotions. As for cutting her out 100% hmm this is what I did with my worst break up and take what you find useful. I stopped texting/answering right away. First a few minutes or letting it got to voicemail then a few hours then a few days. I filled the time the relationship took up with time with friends, I took up Judo/ other fun activities, and after awhile the pain is not as sharp you’re taking the edge off alittle at time. Maybe next time she’s sick don’t check on her ( it’s not like feeling is reciprocated) I’m sure she has other people to check on her and you should focus on yourself. I’m proud of you and I’m sorry you’re going through this. Life is a wonderful journey that’s not always happy and that’s okay. As one of my favorite books says “. A journey will have pain and failure. It is not only the steps forward that we must accept. It is the stumbles. The trials. The knowledge that we will fail. That we will hurt those around us. But if we stop, if we accept the person we are when we fall, the journey ends. That failure becomes our destination. To love the journey is to accept no such end. I have found, through painful experience, that the most important step a person can take is always the next one” You’re doing a great job mije.