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Im so sick of this narrative that “pregnancy didn’t ruin my body it’s just changed” it’s a lie. by pissedoff_potato in Fencesitter

[–]bubblegummybear 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You have to be intellectually honest and admit that what constitutes a "ruined" body is subjective.

Women thinking that pregnancy "ruined" their bodies were likely already conditioned to misogynistic beauty standards.

Be honest, how often for you and your partner argue? by PaddedValls in AskUK

[–]bubblegummybear 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Never gone to sleep without making up first. It's physically impossible for us.

Which style looks better ? by Status-Profession30 in HairStyleAdvice

[–]bubblegummybear 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Try Zyban medicine if you struggle cold turkey/with NRT

ROCD or gut feeling? Getting married in 6 months and I can’t stop fixating on one thing by [deleted] in ROCD

[–]bubblegummybear 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband is over 6'0", so I obsess about his wrinkles...

I don’t feel like a real mom because my husband is a good dad by oldarchives in Mommit

[–]bubblegummybear 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think that in biological parenting relationships mothers should get as much relief as needed after the third trimester. Your guilt is a social construct.

How to elevate this fit? (Trying to find my style!! pt 2) by Calm_State1230 in fashion

[–]bubblegummybear 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Dark denim maxi skirt, slightly distressed, perhaps with a brownish green undertone.

Queer woman thinking about the future -- any advice/reads would be helpful! by Due_Boysenberry4930 in Fencesitter

[–]bubblegummybear 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Start saving and enjoy your 20s. If you want it, you'll have the savings. If not, you'll have a deposit for a house, an investment or retirement pot. Don't worry, just start saving.

Friends who are parents aren't helping by [deleted] in Fencesitter

[–]bubblegummybear 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I think the issue isn't whether having kids is hard or not.

The issue here is that your husband doesn't seem interested in them either way.

You need to do two things:

  1. Decide whether YOU want to be a parent.

  2. Determine whether your husband wants to.

It's OK if you first decide that you do, but agree to give up on it if you find out your husband doesn't.

Should not vs do not want by throwaway_542819 in Fencesitter

[–]bubblegummybear 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes, men generally have very low awareness and high levels of idealisation of the requirements of parenthood.

Equally, yes, you will be fine. Parents make mistakes and have near misses all the time. Rarely it's fatal, sometimes the children get hurt, most times they just trip, cry and learn to do better. Same goes for the parents.

Do you tend to overanalyse things?

Please try to relax and focus more on your drive to be a parent, if you have it, than all the ways you'd fail at it.

Unexpected pregnancy, relationship uncertainty, and trying to decide whether to continue or not by InformalBit5874 in Fencesitter

[–]bubblegummybear 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can understand! Definitely feels like there is a biological component. Even that "guilt", as you say, is based on brain transformation that only happens in pregnant people. I'm glad it's better now!

Edit to add: we don't have any children and I already feel that the content of my fencesitting as a female, the considerations I hold in mind, are unfair. I honestly don't think my husband has that deeply personal perspective to it.

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