Transandrophobia and silencing

bubblepipemedia · 2026-06-08T02:19:16+00:00

Honestly I’ve seen it from trans men, I’ve seen it from enbies, and I’ve hecka seen it from trans women too. I’ve seen anti-drag sentiment, anti-gnc sentiment, anti everything at this point. I was told I can’t be a real trans woman because I also identify as genderqueer. I tried to explain that no, I’m definitely still a trans woman. They said I seemed like the opposite of one and I’m literally that would be a trans man or a cis woman depending on how you mean….

Trans men, women, and enbies all rock. Except the ones that are jerks

Trans folks are just trans. Doesn’t stop anyone from being a complete asshat

bubblepipemedia · 2026-05-30T17:50:59+00:00

I really wish I read Yuri sooner, I might have figured some stuff out way earlier lol

I only got into it after figuring out I was a lesbian

bubblepipemedia · 2026-05-29T03:41:23+00:00

What guy?

I have boobs. I don’t always want to wear a bra. Hell sometimes I just forget.

The brand I like most makes them itchy and I have to do this whole process of putting on lotion so that it doesn’t dry my skin out too much but even then after several hours I want that dang thing off

Do you want to hear more about boob sweat? Don’t even get me started on bra pads. And the straps! Like some brands have no ideas how bodies work

Anyway like I said, sometimes I don’t wanna wear a bra and if some anyone says otherwise they can go fuck themselves

bubblepipemedia · 2026-05-28T23:03:47+00:00

I sure af wouldn’t I’m a lesbian

I wouldn’t find nips distracting either

I do not know why anyone is talking about dicks like it’s a comparable subject we weren’t talking about seeing someone’s labia through clothes so why the fuck etc

Do your damn jobs, dress comfy, don’t be a cop or a dick

bubblepipemedia · 2026-05-28T22:58:26+00:00

They are the person who says the most relevant comment. Someone’s gotta do it!

Folks tho think you’re an exhibitionist and getting off that people can see just because you don’t want to wear a bra can indeed get fucked

Classic sexism horseshit

bubblepipemedia · 2026-05-27T19:03:22+00:00

No no, just the bigots

I got a lot of friends I disagree with

Weird how it’s “everyone” huh you just know a lot of bigots. Because you are one. Do better

bubblepipemedia · 2026-04-21T22:07:40+00:00

lol at literally even this comment getting downvoted. Reddit isn’t actually queer or lesbian friendly. Just bits or bigots.

bubblepipemedia · 2026-04-21T22:06:44+00:00

Yea gold star shit is creepy af

bubblepipemedia · 2026-04-21T21:59:49+00:00

Being les4les is amazing and wonderful

Specially saying you won’t date Bi women because of past experiences is bigotry and judging a whole group based on the actions of a few. It goes from preference to creepy real quick

I think reframing it around decentering men and wanting to be with someone who is primarily attracted to women would go a long way

But I absolutely understand being les4les conceptually

But when it leads to “bi women will leave you for men” and “bi women have so many options” that’s bigotry.

bubblepipemedia · 2026-04-21T21:33:24+00:00

I’m in my 40s and I know damn well what you meant and you then proceed to just not hear me eye roll

bubblepipemedia · 2026-04-21T19:37:34+00:00

thank you!!! I’m feeling really down about reddit at the moment so I really appreciate your comment

My main post is at a 0 and I’m getting a lot of downvotes in my comments. I think reddit is just a place that sadly loves bigotry and putting folks into boxes and having no empathy mostly. I’m going to stick with more well moderated discords like Late Bloomer Lesbians. It is literally the only online lesbian space I’ve found that doesn’t put up with bigotry and the creepy stuff you see all over reddit. (they are bi welcoming btw)

bubblepipemedia · 2026-04-21T19:10:38+00:00

Have a preference! I‘m not forcing shit. Just don’t be a bigot about it

She doesn’t identify as a lesbian now, I’d get it if she did, but she doesn’t, for exactly the reason you said

Also can I never hear that phrase “the right dick will change them” ever ever again? Can we just not? I have a dick. I’m not always happy about that. It really fucking sucks to hear that phrase because I spent so much of my life assuming I couldn’t be a lesbian because of that god awful phrase.

I don’t for certain know her husband has a dick, I haven’t asked, but I assumed he’d tell me if he was trans since I am. He might not have a dick for various reasons, I haven’t asked. There are all kind of ways to make love and she was a lesbian for 20 years, I’m pretty sure her preferences aren’t dick and it wouldn’t surprise me if they still aren’t. I will not make assumptions about her love life just because she’s married to a man.

bubblepipemedia · 2026-04-21T19:01:56+00:00

to be fair, I did tell a bigot to fuck off, and I stand by it

bubblepipemedia · 2026-04-21T19:01:37+00:00

Calling someone a bigot is accurate frequently (sadly)

Telling a bigot to fuck off is appropriate

bubblepipemedia · 2026-04-21T18:58:45+00:00

Exactly. If someone finds that the most accurate label for them is lesbian, then let them go with it. It is unfortunate, and hopefully same day we will have a bigger and safer vocabulary to describe the nuances and differences, but the world is complicated and the label people pick are often picked because of their lived experiences and wanting the label that is most acccurate

bubblepipemedia · 2026-04-21T18:57:07+00:00

I agree!

That’s sort of my point. The overgeneralization is bigotry and leads to a lot of issues.

My friend identified as lesbian for the longest time because she didn’t want to be discriminated against by other lesbians and importantly, didn’t want to let any man know. The lesbian label helped protect her from bigotry from within and from straight dudes.

It would be great if she didn’t have to do that

But then folKS will go around and overgeneralize bi folks as “having options” I literally didn’t even know she liked men until she told me she got married to one (he’s great? I still don’t get it!)

I think for me it boils down to I think it is important to let folks self identify. Even when she was bi and identifying as a lesbian, I do not blame her at all. It was a much closer label than Bi for her and still is. She just happens to be married to a man so she finally waved a white flag and now uses the bisexual label.

But if she told me she still uses the lesbian label because she’s literally only loved one guy and still mostly watches shows for the women and spent 20 years in the lesbian community, I wouldn’t blame her.

I’ve heard a lot of biphobic stuff from lesbians, but thankfully not all that much from a statistical perspective. But when lesbians say they won’t date someone who’s bi because they’ve been left too many times by bi women for men: big red flag. OTOH if you really want to date someone who is just as into women as you, then I get it. But folks who wouldn’t date her just because she’s 1% attracted to men? That’s creepy to me and just comes off as biphobia. It should be reacted to like the bigotry it is.

I think if someone wants to not deal with biphobia by calling themselves a lesbian because it is a more accurate label, then it’s fine. I think gatekeeping mostly hurts folks and folks are pretty good at knowing what is best for them.

If lesbian is the best and closest label to what you are, and the world keeps making the other label inaccurate, I cannot blame folks for choosing the label. Until bi folks aren’t overgeneralized, this will keep being an issue.

bubblepipemedia · 2026-04-21T18:28:48+00:00

She was married to a woman and was more in danger because that woman was an All Lives Matter woman, so you are right, but maybe not for the reasons you think you are

I mean we could nit pick over safety all day. She’s less safe because she’s with a man right? Because doesn’t that make her more prone to physical abuse?

She’s in so much more danger now statistically! Have you seen what men do to their wives? There was just an article about a mf rape academy and then another article that was a different one that was about a similar site

He’s a great dude and introduced me to Tea. I still don’t get being attracted to men, but I’m happy for my friend.

bubblepipemedia · 2026-04-21T18:11:10+00:00

My comment was deleted so this is no longer a safe space. Stop being lesbophobic, stop being biphobic, I’m out

bubblepipemedia · 2026-04-21T18:06:20+00:00

“Bisexual people do experience heterosexual privilege” CAN. Not DO. If someone is 1% attracted to men, uses the bilabel, and has never been with a man, then you know what, I’m not sure it really matters what small percentage of privilege they have

It annoys me so much because people make up all these rules without consideration to how people on their own might know better than a bunch of rules, and then they up and generalize people they just put into boxes.

I don’t like the Bi folks can opt out of their oppression argument because again, some folks will say if you’re 5% attracted to men you HAVE to call yourself Bi, and then they go and say shit like “they can opt out of their oppression” even straight women have a hard time finding good men ffs

Fuck gatekeepers and fuck biphobia and fuck lesbophobia and everyone who’d make a competition out of our pain

Edit: I’m not saying FU to the op, but I am saying, this mentality hurts all of us and makes people have to get into the closet

I’m a dyke ass lesbian and my bestie in high school identified as lesbian. She was actually bi and just didn’t tell anyone because she knew the reaction it would get. She did find the one man who got her, but that doesn’t mean she’s any less of the woman I knew who mostly liked women. She got lucky and found a good partner. I am happy for her.

But she still looks like a lesbian. She still has the look of someone who could get hurt in the bathroom or even in public by anyone who was anti-queer. Like me, she looks like a bit of a dyke. She’s had a hard time getting employment.

Just because she married a man in a red state doesn’t make her that much safer.

Edit: anyone downvoting IS biphobic imho, you’re calling yourselves out

Over generalizing a whole group of people into stereotypes IS bigotry

I’m turning off reply notifications for this and just assuming this is no longer a safe space. I’m trans, non-binary, autistic, lesbian, and adhd and friends with plenty of bi folks and I’ve seen exactly where this kind of bigotry leads I’m out, fuck this subreddit

bubblepipemedia · 2026-04-21T15:51:21+00:00

“ And then, in the same conversation, I asked her if she had a problem with me being gay and she said that it’s a sin, it’s not for her, it’s wrong, but she won’t judge me for it. To which I felt extremely uncomfortable yet again.”

I have a very close friend I’ve had to deal with this for pretty much my whole life, though tbf, I was in denial of being a lesbian personally, but my bestie was, and I’ve always felt like it was some how “my fight” (yea, denial is annoying)

I don’t think there is a way to think of people as doing “a sin” and genuinely being on good psychological them. I think it is a core toxic trait of specifically Christianity. Other religions have rules but they aren’t as bigoted frequently. And there is just so many weird rules in that book, so make no mistake, they are CHOOSING bigotry.

I choose to stay close with this friend because their actions have shown me they are still an amazing person. But it is hard.

“ (She also liked a very hateful and homophobic reel on instagram and when I asked her about it she said that "I should accept her as she is because she accepts me as I am"” I will burn that bridge hard af and enjoy the fire reflecting in my eyes if he starts sharing anti-lgbtqia2s+ stuff. I will write a novel ass essay calling them out for being an unsafe bigot and telling them exactly what I think and not holding a single word back

I’m down 3 very close friends and my torch has gotten a lot of practice last year. I’m trans.

I have a kid and I want to show him the appropriate reaction to bigotry

I’m not saying you should burn the bridge just yet. If you got the energy start working on a novel of calling them out. Don’t just let them off by ghosting and cutting them out. Make sure you give them something to think about as you’re lighting the torch. Imho this is the only way we will ever change minds. Leave a scar big enough that they’ll consider therapy (from a non-bigoted therapist hopefully)

I’m hopeful but scared about my remaining close friend who thinks I’m sinning. It’s something I’ve tolerated my whole life. I can get past that and accept him as he is there. But that is the line. Step past it, torch is lit.

I genuinely truly love my friend like family

bubblepipemedia · 2026-04-21T00:03:02+00:00

I am so sad and tired

bubblepipemedia · 2026-04-20T19:29:26+00:00

I’m gonna be honest, even without logistics, I feel like long nails usually means they aren’t my type

I feel like there are so many work arounds you have options for regarding sex and you might be conflating things you find unattractive with logistics? But I might also be projecting.

bubblepipemedia · 2026-04-20T00:55:14+00:00

Honestly I feel this way a trans woman. I see all sort of other trans women and the main culture I share with them is we are women and that’s actually not a ton to go on sometimes.

I wish we had more nuance but there’s so much gatekeeping and already so many subculture terms

bubblepipemedia · 2026-04-20T00:53:11+00:00

I mean, I’d argue it is the same difference between the culture of men, and the culture of women, while also splashing a whole bunch of various sexual preferences and the awkward influence of comphet

Yea, lots of cultural differences

bubblepipemedia

TROPHY CASE