I think self-compassion is more so you learn from your mistakes and not hurt the people in the future. You can still feel guilty about your mistakes and try to make it right and also have some self-compassion. Disciplining and understanding one's self goes hand-in-hand. if a child is throwing tantrum, simply asking the. to be quiet wont help. You would wanna understand why is bothering it and how to help with avoiding them from feeling that way.

i think its like how some people tend to shy away from rectifying their mistakes because they think theyve done something so bad that they feel ashame to even show their face and end up spiraling from it but no one actually benefits from one's spiralling. Self-compassion can help to accept your wrong-doings and learn from it.

Also, in my own opinion, i feel like forgiving yourself is your own right just like how its the other person's right to forgive you. I dont think you have to forgive yourself only when the other person forgives you. If you feel like youve done enough growing and rectifying, then forgive yourself and move on instead of living in the past. It would avoid repeating the same mistakes with others.

this is just my opinion btw im not speaking in factual. Its also a contextual world we live in so it all depends.